Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Terry Richardson Photoshopped Mariah Carey? NO!

July 15th, 2014 // 10 Comments

Jezebel got a hold of the unretouched shots from Mariah Carey‘s photo shoot with Terry Richardson which I’m going to kick over to them because it’s their exclusive and I’m not a dick. I’m just a simple journalist trying to uncover the truth, and through that truth encourage people to ask themselves how many times Terry probably ejaculated on Mariah’s face for each edit because I wrote down eight. I’m going with eight.

Retouch My Body: Terry Richardson Pix of Mariah Carey Before Photoshop – Jezebel

Photo: Terry Richardson

Gwyneth Paltrow Never Saw Blake Lively Coming

July 15th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Hilary, Why Are You Here?!
Hilary Duff
She Means Nothing To Me! [Blake, Ignore This.] Read More »

Blake Lively is a gorgeous, thin blonde who also happens to be friends with Beyonce and has a pretentious, fart-sniffing website launching next week which makes you wonder why we even need Gwyneth Paltrow anymore. And I’m not just saying that because Blake’s breasts are way more awesome to the point that it’s not even a competition. If they were a race car, Gwyneth’s would be a wheel-less sandalwood box that smells vaguely of cinnamon. E! News

According to the source who also confirmed the launch date, the name of the actress’ secret project will be “Preserve.”
So what can we expect? The insider tells E! News: “Preserve will focus on artisans and products, many hand-made one-of-a-kind items all selected by Blake. Items will be available for purchase through the site. Preserve is all about story-telling through video. Blake will be in some of these videos.”

Yo, I heard the site automatically filters out plebeians AND only works on vegan bandwidth. AW SNAP.

Photo: MPNC/VPA/Xposure/AKM-GSI

Bethenny Frankel Wore Her Daughter’s Clothes, Pissed Off Mommy Bloggers

July 15th, 2014 // 56 Comments

On Sunday, Bethenny Frankel posted an Instagram photo of herself in her four-year-old daughter Bryn’s clothes which apparently pissed off a bunch of mommy bloggers concerned about unhealthy body images (?) and whatever it is mommy bloggers like to complain about. Not that I’m saying this shit is right, I just feel like the more pressing issue is her daughter walking around asking complete strangers if she knows how she got her scars. Plus her pockets are full of nothing but knives and lint. That can’t be sanitary.

Bethenny Frankel Wearing Her 4-Year-Old’s Clothes After The Jump

That’s Jessica Johnson To You

July 15th, 2014 // 4 Comments

Because weird Instagram photos that she actually thinks are sexy is Jessica Simpson‘s new bag, here she is announcing to the word that she’s Jessica Johnson now. Which seems sad at first, until you realize there’s no possible way anyone could’ve explained what a mark is without her going, “Haha! That’s a boy’s name.” Then again, the two-year-old might get it and start stashing money away in her dollhouse. Someone fetch me my puppets. — What? You don’t have puppets? That makes you the weirdo, not me.

Photos: Instagram

Quick, Check Selena Gomez’s Breasts For Scars, And Other News

July 14th, 2014 // 18 Comments

- I hope they name this one Usurp Gingerbottom after his uncle. [Lainey Gossip]

- Christopher Walken will be your tap-dancing Captain Hook. [Dlisted]

- Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE]

- Nicole Richie has a fashion empire while Paris Hilton is still pulling shit from 2005. [Fishwrapper]

- Here’s how the first day of The Opie & Jim Show went. [The Daily Banter]

- What’s up, Mayra Suarez? [Popoholic]

- Lindsay Lohan is fucking delusional. [Starpulse]

- Get a good look at Kristin Cavallari‘s son before he dies from whooping cough. [tooFab]

- Nina Agdal in yoga pants. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Terry Richardson shot an entire issue of Playboy. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI

The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.14.14

July 14th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed in which a momentous occasion — 844 days in the making — has taken place. Prince Charles shat in another jet and if you’re trying to picture the joy this brought me, just forget it. There aren’t enough baby pools or Jell-O or matching Speedos for Fish and I to wear in the world that could ever bring me to this level of ecstasy. I mean sure, I also found clear before and after evidence that Gerard Butler got butt-sexed around a plastic shitter, and I also got Kayte Walsh desperately trying to use the new texting feature for 911. Do you think any of that matters to me?

*stands outside Buckingham Palace, holds stereo over head*

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Christian Author Farrah Abraham Wants You To Buy Her Pocket Pussy

July 14th, 2014 // 90 Comments

You probably know Farrah Abraham from her upcoming book on Christian parenting, so you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that like most Christ-loving authors, she also has a line of erotic sex toys which she launched over the weekend by licking them right in the rubber vulva. A move she learned from none other than T.D. Jakes. Or was it Max Lucado? Either way, remembering my parents’ bookshelf is fun!

Farrah Abraham’s Sex Toys After The Jump

Jenny McCarthy Has A SiriusXM Show Now

July 14th, 2014 // 18 Comments

Jenny McCarthy has huge, fake tits that people want to look at while ignoring every single word that comes out of her mouth, so naturally SiriusXM hired her for a radio show. (To the Anthony Cumia fans who said it’s run by idiots, you win.) It’s almost like they don’t realize that talking is a manufacturer’s defect, and eventually she’ll be recalled once enough kids die. Of course, one should’ve done it, but that’s America for you. Go, capitalism!

Photos: JAYO/AKM-GSI, FameFlynet