Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Iggy Azalea Admits She’s In A Sex Tape, But Claims She Was Underage

September 12th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Up until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn’t tell you who or what an Iggy Azalea is, or how she’s standing next to Rita Ora because I just assumed they’re the same person, but now I know that she’s some sort of singer with a Twitter account who just yesterday denied making a sex tape:

I dont have a sex tape but for the record…
Anyone who releases or attempts to make profit off someone else’s intimate moments against their will is a sex offender.
& it honestly makes me sick to see the media encourage any other attitude towards those sorts of people, we should want to protect our women
and i really hope that america will follow Europe and their laws to better protect peoples privacy and fundamental rights.
and on that note, I’m off to get a manicure. peaaaaccceeeeeee outtttttt *drops the mic*

Except now her lawyers are telling TMZ, okay, maybe she’s in the sex tape, but she maybe didn’t know it was being filmed, and just in case that’s not enough, she maybe was also underage: More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

September 12th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Anna Wintour‘s 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. [Dlisted]

- Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. [theCHIVE]

- Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that time he raped a woman. [Fishwrapper]

- Fleshlight will never forget 9/11. [The Frisky]

- Some stupid bitch went on Fox News and literally said Janay Rice knocked herself out. [Death and Taxes]

- A stripper’s suing Jerry Jones for making her watch him get a blowjob. “Allegedly.” [WWTDD]

- Sofia Vergara takes her huge, awesome breasts to the gym. [Popoholic]

- Teen Titans is getting its own live action show now. Yup. [Starpulse]

- Kirsten Dunst would be thinner if she wasn’t in a relationship. Okay… [tooFab]

- Migraines can often be linked to menstruation. Just sayin’. [IDLYITW]

- I want an Ola Brunath. Where’s the checkout button? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Julianne Moore‘s face might be stuck. [Celebslam]

- Ashley Sky poses for Galore. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Amanda Cerny In A Bikini: The Crap I Missed

September 11th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Alright, folks, Photo Boy is at a funeral today which means no The Crap We Missed and all the Prince Charles that entails. Fortunately, here’s Amanda Cerny in some hot-ass bikini pics to make up for that. It’s almost like she sensed I needed them, but don’t tell Hilary Duff that. Goddammit does she get jealous. I love you, girl, but I’ve got a life, too. This bird’s got wings, and he needs to fly. (For real though, I’m at the store. What kind of tampons did you say use again? Text me when you get a chance. I’ll wait in the aisle.)

Photos: FameFlynet

Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story

September 11th, 2014 // 33 Comments

A WARNING TO OUR READERS:

This edition of Bertney tackles the very recent and sensitive subject of her “boyfriend,” for lack of a better term, David Lucado cheating on her with pornographic actress Cali Lee. It’s up to Papa to explain to Bertney what went wrong, and we’re sensitive to the fact that some of our more religious readers would prefer their children only learn about sexual education, preferably in the form of abstinence-only teachings, from their parents and not the schools and/or government. So for those readers, we encourage you to share any of our other Bertney Stories with your child, and also enjoy becoming a grandparent real soon, you stupid religious fuck.

Now let’s jump into reading!

‘Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story’ After The Jump

Peggy From ‘Mad Men’ Is Still In A Bikini

September 11th, 2014 // 25 Comments

“Alright, Ms. Moss, we gotcher, uh, standard paparazzi agreement here. You make with a boob grab, couple spread eagles, a nice, little seductive over the shoulder, and bada bing bada boom, we cut you a fat juicy check for your space church thingy.”
“It’s a Thetan purification center.”
“Sure it is, sweetheart. Now gimme yer John Handcock.” – My only explanation for what’s happening here

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI

Hey, Aaron Carter, Stop Creeping Out My Girlfriend Hilary Duff

September 11th, 2014 // 22 Comments
There Is No God
Hilary Duff Legs Butt
Hilary Duff Fappening Pics Are Fake Read More »

Shortly after Hilary Duff separated from Mike Comrie, the proto-Bieber turned freakishly jacked opportunist Aaron Carter professed his undying love for his long lost ex on Twitter which she’s avoided talking about until now. And, surprise, it creeps her right the fuck out. Buzzfeed reports:

And then we asked the big question: “Aaron Carter keeps declaring his love for you, how do you feel about it?”
Hilary: (laughs) I was not expecting this question. He does, I keep seeing that, that he keeps doing that. I don’t know how I feel. I mean, that was so long ago, and obviously I’m still married, and I have a baby and we kind of just…
… Don’t know each other?
Hilary: Yeah, don’t know each other… so… yeah.
So it’s just weird.
Hilary: (laughs) You said it, not me!

She then went on to say that if some sort of “handsome blogging man” removed Aaron’s head and used it for a hood ornament, she’d see to it that this hero of legend experiences all eight levels of her vaginal wetness. Which I thought was odd for Buzzfeed to publish (It’s all right there on the page, I don’t know how you guys aren’t seeing it.) because a lot of impressionable youth read their site and that shit’s pretty graphic. Being a gatekeeper’s a serious responsibility. Anyway, I’m just going to leave this here for Hilary. She should be around any minute now: More »

Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder

September 11th, 2014 // 44 Comments
He's Building A Memorial?
Oscar Pistorius Reeva Steenkamp
Uh, Maybe Hold Off On This Read More »

Just in case you think America is the only country where famous athletes can basically do whatever they want to women with little to no consequence, Oscar Pistorius was just acquitted of murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after shooting her four times through a closed bathroom door on Valentine’s Day. The LA Times reports:

The judge found that some of the witnesses were confused, some were far from the Pistorius house and others failed to distinguish what they heard from what they later picked up from the media.
“Human beings are fallible,” she said in reference to the witnesses, adding that the court would rely on technology, including phone records, to establish what happened.
Masipa said the most important evidence in the trial was the testimony of Pistorius, the only surviving eyewitness. She added that it was unclear from his testimony whether he intended to fire his weapon.

Fortunately, the judge didn’t have anything to say about Oscar Pistorius’ character as a witness except, oh wait, she did and basically called him a liar: More »

Good Morning, Natalie Burn, And Other News

September 11th, 2014 // 7 Comments

- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are being spotted in public. This shit’s happening. [Lainey Gossip]

- Since everyone enjoyed Jared Leto‘s dick so much, here’s Zac Efron‘s hairy nipples. [Dlisted]

- Redheads Are Masters of The Seductive Arts [theCHIVE]

- Melissa Rivers tells jokes, too. I had no idea. [Fishwrapper]

- But will Leighton Meester make butt videos? That’s the real question. [The Frisky]

- Kris Jenner is gender shaming Bruce Jenner‘s gender Jenner gender. [WWTDD]

- Anastasia Ashley does Maxim. Hell yes. [Popoholic]

- Dammit, Jaws died. The Bond villain, not the shark. [Starpulse]

- Sasquatch apparently raised Kendall and Kylie. This is all making sense. [tooFab]

- Nina Agdal in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Rumer Willis‘ ass cheek, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI