Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Rihanna Song Pulled From Thursday Night Football

September 12th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Ray Rice Found Jesus
Ray Rice Ravens
Everything's All Better Now Read More »

“HAHAHAHA! I’mma haunt you forever.”

Thanks to Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna for looking at his phone, CBS decided to pull “Run This Town” from last night’s Thursday Night Football so people won’t have to think about the NFL only giving Ray Rice a two-game suspension for punching out his fiance and dragging her out of an elevator while players caught smoking weed faced four-to-six game suspensions if not more. Or you can believe this crap about “tone.” Sports Illustrated reports:

CBS Sports chairman Sean McManus said the network has also pulled an opener featuring actor Don Cheadle doing narration over Jay Z’s “Run This Town,” which is sung by Rihanna. A comedic segment was also jettisoned.
“It’s important to realize we are not overreacting to this story but it is as big a story as has faced the NFL,” McManus told SI.com from Baltimore Thursday afternoon. “We thought journalistically and from a tone standpoint, we needed to have the appropriate tone and coverage. A lot of the production elements we wanted in the show are being eliminated because of time or tone.”

“Look, at the end of the day, we just want folks to be able to relax and enjoy an all-American game without thinking about domestic violence more than this PSA the publicists cooked up. No one at the NFL really cares what happens in your home should supper not be ready or the kids spill your cold, refreshing Coors Light with its crisp taste of the Rockies. They’re certainly not trying to send that message. They do, however, encourage everyone to consider Cialis and how it will let you fuck your wife all the time even if you’re old. That’s what she’s there for, right? Anyway, how about that kickoff? Back to you, Tom.”

Photos: Getty

Iggy Azalea Admits She’s In A Sex Tape, But Claims She Was Underage

September 12th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Up until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn’t tell you who or what an Iggy Azalea is, or how she’s standing next to Rita Ora because I just assumed they’re the same person, but now I know that she’s some sort of singer with a Twitter account who just yesterday denied making a sex tape:

I dont have a sex tape but for the record…
Anyone who releases or attempts to make profit off someone else’s intimate moments against their will is a sex offender.
& it honestly makes me sick to see the media encourage any other attitude towards those sorts of people, we should want to protect our women
and i really hope that america will follow Europe and their laws to better protect peoples privacy and fundamental rights.
and on that note, I’m off to get a manicure. peaaaaccceeeeeee outtttttt *drops the mic*

Except now her lawyers are telling TMZ, okay, maybe she’s in the sex tape, but she maybe didn’t know it was being filmed, and just in case that’s not enough, she maybe was also underage: More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

September 12th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Anna Wintour‘s 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. [Dlisted]

- Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. [theCHIVE]

- Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that time he raped a woman. [Fishwrapper]

- Fleshlight will never forget 9/11. [The Frisky]

- Some stupid bitch went on Fox News and literally said Janay Rice knocked herself out. [Death and Taxes]

- A stripper’s suing Jerry Jones for making her watch him get a blowjob. “Allegedly.” [WWTDD]

- Sofia Vergara takes her huge, awesome breasts to the gym. [Popoholic]

- Teen Titans is getting its own live action show now. Yup. [Starpulse]

- Kirsten Dunst would be thinner if she wasn’t in a relationship. Okay… [tooFab]

- Migraines can often be linked to menstruation. Just sayin’. [IDLYITW]

- I want an Ola Brunath. Where’s the checkout button? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Julianne Moore‘s face might be stuck. [Celebslam]

- Ashley Sky poses for Galore. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Amanda Cerny In A Bikini: The Crap I Missed

September 11th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Alright, folks, Photo Boy is at a funeral today which means no The Crap We Missed and all the Prince Charles that entails. Fortunately, here’s Amanda Cerny in some hot-ass bikini pics to make up for that. It’s almost like she sensed I needed them, but don’t tell Hilary Duff that. Goddammit does she get jealous. I love you, girl, but I’ve got a life, too. This bird’s got wings, and he needs to fly. (For real though, I’m at the store. What kind of tampons did you say use again? Text me when you get a chance. I’ll wait in the aisle.)

Photos: FameFlynet

Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story

September 11th, 2014 // 33 Comments

A WARNING TO OUR READERS:

This edition of Bertney tackles the very recent and sensitive subject of her “boyfriend,” for lack of a better term, David Lucado cheating on her with pornographic actress Cali Lee. It’s up to Papa to explain to Bertney what went wrong, and we’re sensitive to the fact that some of our more religious readers would prefer their children only learn about sexual education, preferably in the form of abstinence-only teachings, from their parents and not the schools and/or government. So for those readers, we encourage you to share any of our other Bertney Stories with your child, and also enjoy becoming a grandparent real soon, you stupid religious fuck.

Now let’s jump into reading!

‘Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story’ After The Jump

Peggy From ‘Mad Men’ Is Still In A Bikini

September 11th, 2014 // 25 Comments

“Alright, Ms. Moss, we gotcher, uh, standard paparazzi agreement here. You make with a boob grab, couple spread eagles, a nice, little seductive over the shoulder, and bada bing bada boom, we cut you a fat juicy check for your space church thingy.”
“It’s a Thetan purification center.”
“Sure it is, sweetheart. Now gimme yer John Handcock.” – My only explanation for what’s happening here

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI

Hey, Aaron Carter, Stop Creeping Out My Girlfriend Hilary Duff

September 11th, 2014 // 22 Comments
There Is No God
Hilary Duff Legs Butt
Hilary Duff Fappening Pics Are Fake Read More »

Shortly after Hilary Duff separated from Mike Comrie, the proto-Bieber turned freakishly jacked opportunist Aaron Carter professed his undying love for his long lost ex on Twitter which she’s avoided talking about until now. And, surprise, it creeps her right the fuck out. Buzzfeed reports:

And then we asked the big question: “Aaron Carter keeps declaring his love for you, how do you feel about it?”
Hilary: (laughs) I was not expecting this question. He does, I keep seeing that, that he keeps doing that. I don’t know how I feel. I mean, that was so long ago, and obviously I’m still married, and I have a baby and we kind of just…
… Don’t know each other?
Hilary: Yeah, don’t know each other… so… yeah.
So it’s just weird.
Hilary: (laughs) You said it, not me!

She then went on to say that if some sort of “handsome blogging man” removed Aaron’s head and used it for a hood ornament, she’d see to it that this hero of legend experiences all eight levels of her vaginal wetness. Which I thought was odd for Buzzfeed to publish (It’s all right there on the page, I don’t know how you guys aren’t seeing it.) because a lot of impressionable youth read their site and that shit’s pretty graphic. Being a gatekeeper’s a serious responsibility. Anyway, I’m just going to leave this here for Hilary. She should be around any minute now: More »

Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder

September 11th, 2014 // 44 Comments
He's Building A Memorial?
Oscar Pistorius Reeva Steenkamp
Uh, Maybe Hold Off On This Read More »

Just in case you think America is the only country where famous athletes can basically do whatever they want to women with little to no consequence, Oscar Pistorius was just acquitted of murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after shooting her four times through a closed bathroom door on Valentine’s Day. The LA Times reports:

The judge found that some of the witnesses were confused, some were far from the Pistorius house and others failed to distinguish what they heard from what they later picked up from the media.
“Human beings are fallible,” she said in reference to the witnesses, adding that the court would rely on technology, including phone records, to establish what happened.
Masipa said the most important evidence in the trial was the testimony of Pistorius, the only surviving eyewitness. She added that it was unclear from his testimony whether he intended to fire his weapon.

Fortunately, the judge didn’t have anything to say about Oscar Pistorius’ character as a witness except, oh wait, she did and basically called him a liar: More »