Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.11

April 6th, 2013 // 47 Comments

Welcome to this week’s edition of The Most Important People on The Internet 10% of which is jokes about Tom Cruise being short and loving penis, so I’m putting this one on the fridge because I, too, am a connoisseur of low-hanging fruit. Not to mention the genius Blade Runner quote and the coveted final spot comment that is so perfect in its simplicity I want to make sweet, minimalist love to it.

How is minimalist love different than my usual love-making? Touché,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.10

March 29th, 2013 // 51 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you this Good Friday because we’re not at all painting our testicles pastel colors. I don’t know where you heard that from, but it’s offensive. We’re making them look like Cadbury Creme Eggs which requires a vast, almost unprecedented, knowledge of various tin foil thicknesses and a steady hand. Any Tilda Swinton in a box can buy a Paas dye kit and dip their genitals in it. Right, James Franco? “I make mine Ukrainian.” He does his Ukrainian.

See you Saturday with Weekend Nerdior,

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.9

March 23rd, 2013 // 62 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which I’d like to apologize in advance for being extra buggier than usual thanks to the site getting hacked this week. So if the captions don’t change, just hit refresh, and you’re good to go. Annoying as shit, I know. Also, despite repeated attempts, the gallery wouldn’t accept TomFrank‘s epic Albert Nobbs comment on Bruce Jenner, so I wanted to give a quick shout out to that. All that aside, we’ve got a hefty menagerie of commentical awesomeness for you, so dig in.

Thanks for bringing it this week,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.8

March 16th, 2013 // 82 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which took a little break last week because if you haven’t figured out by now, this thing’s entirely fueled by The Crap We Missed, Photo Boy’s daily round-up of random celebrity schadenfreuded that’s mostly a thinly-veiled excuse to post Prince Charles pictures. “I just want to live in in those ears,” I catch him saying to no one in particular. So enjoy, and be sure to make me feel old as shit by not getting the last joke.

Never rub another man’s rhubarb,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.7

March 2nd, 2013 // 55 Comments

Welcome The Most Important People on The Internet our weekly cavalcade of horrible comments brought to you by the letter “S” as in scars and “G” for GOOP. And speaking of GOOP, a special shout-out to Frederick Buddha who did yeoman’s work on the Gywneth Paltrow does cocoon yoga post which I highly suggest scoping out if you want some more comment bang for your zero buck. On that note, I’m off to prepare for a week sans Photo Boy which requires at least 14 hours in the fetal position crying that I’m too handsome to upload my own pics. It’s a very technical process.

See you Monday,

- The Superficial

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Photos: FameFlynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.6

February 23rd, 2013 // 35 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which makes its triumphant return to its normal time and place because I’m not dying from the goddamn plague anymore. Although, in hindsight, I did enjoy pumping myself full of pharmaceuticals and inexplicably watching The Lord of The Rings in case you couldn’t tell by this post and/or me only answering if a certain event happened with, “The ring has been cast into Mount Doom.” So enjoy this week’s smattering while Photo Boy and I stiffen our pithy arrows to spray them upon yon beast known as Oscar. Wow, that came out all wrong.

One does not simply live-tweet into Mordor,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.5

February 18th, 2013 // 53 Comments

If you follow The Superficial on Facebook and/or Twitter, then you know I got punched in the dick with the flu and have been out of it all weekend. If you don’t, well, now you know what that hole is in your life, and frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve been getting out of bed in the morning. So here’s the latest installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that should’ve gone up on Saturday, and I hope you like Adele jokes.

[Pithy comment here],

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.4

February 9th, 2013 // 44 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which, as you can see, continues this week’s theme of What’s Wrong With Your Face?! (If you have no idea what that means, click here, clear the next 70 minutes of your day, thank me later.) And if you have no idea who that is above, it’s actually Lil Kim and not a member of the Jackson family who I’m sorry to inform is not looking at proof that Michael‘s still alive so you can stop alerting schools now. Or not because, after another look, I honestly don’t feel comfortable calling this one. Better safe than sorry, amirite?

Hee hoo!

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty