Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.8

March 16th, 2013 // 82 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which took a little break last week because if you haven’t figured out by now, this thing’s entirely fueled by The Crap We Missed, Photo Boy’s daily round-up of random celebrity schadenfreuded that’s mostly a thinly-veiled excuse to post Prince Charles pictures. “I just want to live in in those ears,” I catch him saying to no one in particular. So enjoy, and be sure to make me feel old as shit by not getting the last joke.

Never rub another man’s rhubarb,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.7

March 2nd, 2013 // 55 Comments

Welcome The Most Important People on The Internet our weekly cavalcade of horrible comments brought to you by the letter “S” as in scars and “G” for GOOP. And speaking of GOOP, a special shout-out to Frederick Buddha who did yeoman’s work on the Gywneth Paltrow does cocoon yoga post which I highly suggest scoping out if you want some more comment bang for your zero buck. On that note, I’m off to prepare for a week sans Photo Boy which requires at least 14 hours in the fetal position crying that I’m too handsome to upload my own pics. It’s a very technical process.

See you Monday,

- The Superficial

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Photos: FameFlynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.6

February 23rd, 2013 // 35 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which makes its triumphant return to its normal time and place because I’m not dying from the goddamn plague anymore. Although, in hindsight, I did enjoy pumping myself full of pharmaceuticals and inexplicably watching The Lord of The Rings in case you couldn’t tell by this post and/or me only answering if a certain event happened with, “The ring has been cast into Mount Doom.” So enjoy this week’s smattering while Photo Boy and I stiffen our pithy arrows to spray them upon yon beast known as Oscar. Wow, that came out all wrong.

One does not simply live-tweet into Mordor,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.5

February 18th, 2013 // 53 Comments

If you follow The Superficial on Facebook and/or Twitter, then you know I got punched in the dick with the flu and have been out of it all weekend. If you don’t, well, now you know what that hole is in your life, and frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve been getting out of bed in the morning. So here’s the latest installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that should’ve gone up on Saturday, and I hope you like Adele jokes.

[Pithy comment here],

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.4

February 9th, 2013 // 44 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which, as you can see, continues this week’s theme of What’s Wrong With Your Face?! (If you have no idea what that means, click here, clear the next 70 minutes of your day, thank me later.) And if you have no idea who that is above, it’s actually Lil Kim and not a member of the Jackson family who I’m sorry to inform is not looking at proof that Michael‘s still alive so you can stop alerting schools now. Or not because, after another look, I honestly don’t feel comfortable calling this one. Better safe than sorry, amirite?

Hee hoo!

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.3

February 2nd, 2013 // 46 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by Jesus And The Amazing Homoerotic Pube Bone, so it really needs no introduction, Which is why I’m going to completely get out of the way and let you dive right into this impressive amount of random because, seriously, a Scott Bakula joke? I want to be inside all of you.

All of you…

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.2

January 26th, 2013 // 45 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where, for those of you just tuning in, is a spotlight on the ridiculous comments that somehow managed to bring a chuckle to my jaded, impenetrable heart. It’s also a remarkably effective way of helping the government compile a list of online sex offenders which I just remembered I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody. Shit. I can fix this: Nobody get the drop on the Chris Hansen now that you know he’s coming. Just act surprised and, more importantly, don’t already be taking a seat right over there. Unless, of course, you want to know how Michael Jackson really died.

See? All better,

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.1

January 19th, 2013 // 85 Comments

Welcome to the triumphant, jam-packed return of The Most Important People on The Internet and while this week’s installment is extra-loaded, it’s not because I included comments from the week from hell, but because at least 20 of these were from Monday. 20. So a special thanks to you little deviants for being the Viagra for this edition’s word-boner. On a less-penis-jokey note, I want to call out the real winner of the Internet this week and it’s 19-year-old Zack Kopplin who’s making an actual difference in this backwoods country instead of flopping around the floor of a church gym on Wednesday nights pretending he’s possessed by his imaginary friend’s ghost. (Wow, that came off salty.) So screw Manti Te’o. Screw Megan Fox. Screw Taylor Swift. This kid’s story is the Jon Hamm’s penis tits. I love tits. Ahaha!

‘The hell’s a Freudian slip?

- The Superficial

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