Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.24

July 27th, 2013 // 98 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that’s so goddamn full of nerd jokes from Comic-Con this Mylar bag holding my issue of Superman #75 is no longer NM if you know what I mean. (Read: Not because of the detailed drawing of his bare-chested nips while fighting Doomsday. Entirely.) On that note, I can’t remember the last time we broke 30 comments, so I’m getting right the hell out of the way and contemplating whether or not to bite the bullet on The Wolverine. Which says a lot about The Lone Ranger considering I didn’t even think twice about not seeing it because my time is precious. Precious like gold. *goes back to watching Ted on HBO for the fifth time in a week*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.23

July 20th, 2013 // 53 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, our weekly wrap-up of all the horrible shit you say in the comments. This week we’ve got Breaking Bad jokes, political jokes, Frankie Muniz jokes and topical plane crash humor. It’s mmm – *kisses fingertips* – delicioso. On that note, if I haven’t said this before, wherever the hell caley came from he/she has easily joined the ranks of Bionic_Crouton, Gilberator, ThisWillHurt, Little Richard, dontkillthemessenger and McFeely Smackup. Feel free to put that on your resume and/or use it to lure the gender of your choice into intercourse with an alarming success rate.

As Uncle Ben once said to Peter Parker, “Great power comes a lot,” (Nailed it.),

- The Superficial

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Photo: Instagram

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.22

July 13th, 2013 // 61 Comments

Welcome to the return of The Most Important People on The Internet after another two week hiatus because God forbid America goes one year without a birthday party. You’re 237 years old, act your age. Anyway, I wrote 2,787 words about punching robots yesterday, so I’m immediately ducking out of the way and letting your dick jokes do the lifting. But first, a special thanks to this week final comment for somehow achieving both horribleness and an unbridled sense of hope. For the first time in my life, I no longer fear death.

*assumes Lotus position*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.21

June 29th, 2013 // 66 Comments

Welcome to the return of The Most Important People on The Internet which took a little hiatus last week because there honestly wasn’t enough comments to justify a whole gallery (Although, the ones that would’ve made it are in here.), but holy shit, did you guys make up for it this week. I’m pretty sure half of these are from Monday alone, so whatever the hell you drank/smoke/paid to have sex with last weekend, do that again. I don’t care if that means Chris Hansen might finally catch you this time, the Internet needs more Bane jokes about Nicolas Cage. That said, nobody even try to top the Timothy Olyphant one. It’s not safe to fly that close to the sun unless you want to become a classic Nintendo game which I’m pretty sure is how that story ends. Or am I thinking of Rygar?

*disappears down a pipe*

- The Superficial

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Photo: INFdaily

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.20

June 15th, 2013 // 41 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which I’m especially proud of for not only including a Joe Don Baker reference, but also George Peppard which young people won’t get, so shove that in your sexual primes full of technological wonders. *takes sip from cup* Mmm, damn good Metamucil.

Get off my lawn,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Glen McCurtayne/Coleman-Rayner

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.19

June 8th, 2013 // 58 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where, as a change of pace, I’m going to nominate Photo Boy for this Chris Tucker pic that needs no caption. I wept. And for a complete non-change of pace, I gave the top spot to the nerdiest fucking comment because it was brilliant in its dorkery. You may now respond with shock and awe at this unprecedented turn of events.

Up, up, and away!

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.18

June 1st, 2013 // 36 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, or as its spoken of in hushed whispers in the Playboy Grotto, The Biggest Swinging Dicks Dick-Swingest Dick Swing Fest. True story. Anyway, we’ve got another impressive showing this week, but I want to make sure to point everyone towards this Katherine Heigl thread where it was really hard to pick just one comment out of the several awesome ones. But what it came down to it, I feel like we picked the one with the best chance of eliciting this face from her. Although, for the record, we also would’ve accepted, “Hey, you know that Korean baby you adopted and gave a good home to? It’s Judd Apatow’s.”

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.17

May 25th, 2013 // 64 Comments

Welcome to the Memorial Day Weekend edition of The Most Important People on The Internet which, again, is probably one the best assortments we’ve had in a while, so I’m going to get right out of its way and return to the couch our troops so bravely fought and died for me to lay on.

*salutes*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty