Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.42

December 21st, 2013 // 42 Comments

Welcome to the potentially last Most Important People on The Internet of 2013 provided you people (You heard me.) don’t suddenly bring your A-game between now and New Year’s forcing us to toss up another one over the holiday which you would, wouldn’t you? This is why I told your mother I wanted a dog. Anyway, the Jonah Hill standing next to Leonardo DiCaprio in a fit of orgasmic glee post paid off handsomely, so I hope you like jokes about that and ones about posts from last week because I saved the few that actually made the cut. I’m a sentimental bitch that way which is also why I somehow have all your baby teeth. *presses finger to your lips* Shhh, shhh, there are only emotions now. Only emotions…

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.41

December 7th, 2013 // 61 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by The Pope, Billy Ray‘s Douche Cycle, a Real Housewife clearly getting choked out, and that time Hilary Duff blew her fiance after he proposed which will be my very last thought when I leave this Earth. I swear it.

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.40

November 27th, 2013 // 57 Comments

So remember the other day when I said there wasn’t going to be a Most Important People on The Internet this week? Surprise! Apparently, you guys decided to goddamn bring it the two days we actually had a full set of posts, so here’s a robust sampling of commentical goodness to help you get through sitting at your parents’ house bored shitless. (On a tablet and hating the current layout? Here’s how to switch it to normal desktop view.) Think of me as the Ghost of Thanksgiving Eve who reminds your wife you probably had sex with your ex in the guest room you’re sleeping in now. You’re welcome.

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.39

November 23rd, 2013 // 32 Comments

This pic doesn’t have a caption, but once you see why it’s here you’ll never be able to unsee it. Forever…

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People On The Internet which I want to sincerely thank you shitheads for making surprisingly robust because there’s not going to be one next week. In fact, we’ll probably mentally check out sometime after our AMAs coverage which I’ll assume involves an eyebrow-less Miley Cyrus eating the skin off papayas with her vagina detenta on stage. There’s no way I didn’t just nail that.

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.38

November 16th, 2013 // 53 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where at least half of these are of Lady GaGa so her label owes each of you a stipend for promoting her album vis-a-vis roofie and domestic violence jokes. You can’t buy that kind of publicity, but don’t let that stop you from taking hostages until you get a check. This is America. Harlan Ellison, bitches!

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.37

November 9th, 2013 // 44 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People On The Internet where quality is king, and quantity is but a Brazilian hooker Justin Bieber throws Pokemon cards at after he’s had his way with her. And by had his way I mean making her play said cards with him. Those bitches are Jigglypuff and they like it.

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.36

November 2nd, 2013 // 27 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you with only seven shopping weeks left until Christmas, so more and more of you are probably standing in a mall right now convincing yourself prison can’t be worse than this. (It’s not, do God’s work, and yes, I’m specifically implying you burn down PacSun.) Fortunately, I shun society and all it’s Auntie Anne’s pretzel goods, so here’s a smattering of comments for those of you who’ve heard of Amazon and/or have also taken to pissing in jars because I honestly don’t why I didn’t do this sooner. They really capture the light.

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People On The Internet:
Volume 3.35

October 26th, 2013 // 43 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a cavalcade of shitamatazzery and, more importantly, an epic Paris Hilton visual gag that Deacon Jones nailed out of the park. Photo Boy served that low-hanging fruit up on a platter and you proceeded to have sex with it. That’s the kind of work I like to see here. (Adding… I love you, too, McFeely.)

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty