Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 31

June 11th, 2011 // 222 Comments

Welcome to the 31st installment of The Most Important People on The Internet bringing you only the best in Internet comments, handpicked from the threads with all the hate, vitriol and warning signs of deviant sexual behavior you’ve come to expect. Think of us like the guy selling vegetables on the side of the road except the vegetables are penis jokes and now you know for certain these stands are nothing but a front to stab hitchhikers. Especially the Amish ones.

Blowing cases wide open,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 30

June 4th, 2011 // 88 Comments

He needed this.

Welcome to the 30th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where it should be slowly realizing it’s half-dead as random strands of gray hair hammer that point home. *pops a fistful of Xanax* Where was I and is there even a point to anything anymore? Oh, right, comments. Short gallery today thanks to a short week, but you’ll still find it loaded with hilarity and Aubrey O’Day’s terrifying hooch which you people somehow can’t get enough of. On that note, I’m now in the early stages of launching a cold cuts fetish site and will begin accepting savvy investors, but only if they have the balls to make 800 billion Internet dollars. (Current value = ~2 funny cat photos.)

Printing money,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 29

May 28th, 2011 // 130 Comments

Welcome to the 29th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet crammed with more cracks at an Ewok than you can shake a Han Solo in Endor Gear figure at. *snorts, pushes taped glasses back into place* But don’t worry, there’s also a diverse cavalcade of non-nerd comments including an Austin Powers reference that’s actually funny which, if my memory serves me correct, is the first time that’s happened on the Internet since 1999. Hyeah, bay-bee! (See what I mean?)

Zip it,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 28

May 21st, 2011 // 166 Comments

Running late today, but did you think I was raptured? Because I was, and I’m not gonna lie, shit was borrriiiinnng.

Welcome to the 28th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which I’m dedicating entirely to the troops on account of today being Armed Forces Day. Nothing is more humbling than hearing how my penis jokes and almost supernatural perversion made some soldier’s tour just a little less suck. Say what you want about the wars (For example, “We shot Osama bin Laden in the face, can they come home now?”), but these men and women swore to do a job, and they carry it out bravely no matter what. It’s a level of discipline and dedication to their country that we should be honored to have. On that note, our brothers-in-arm-boobs over at Egotastic! have teamed up with the Got Your Back Network to help the families of fallen soldiers, so pop on over there if you want to chip in.

Thank a vet, ya hippies,

- The Superficial

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Photo: INFdaily

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 27

May 14th, 2011 // 72 Comments

Welcome to the 27th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, making this bad boy over half a year old, yet it’s still living in my basement. Anyway, this week, we’ve got a selection that’s as slim and lean as the Governator’s grope is long. And speaking of Arnold, to the two commenters who came up with memes we wish we thought of first, we gave your submissions a little extra sizzle. Not that we’re playing favorites or anything, but those two also get to go to college and have routine vaccinations while the rest of you get a pound of raw veal for Christmas. Ha! I’m kidding. The Bethenny one gets an education and medical care, too.

*tussles your hair*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 26

May 7th, 2011 // 79 Comments

Welcome to the 26th Installment of The Most Important People on The Internet: Photo Boy Edition. As the saying goes “parting is such sweet sorrow.” But please, don’t drink that poison yet! I’ll still be here, lurking behind the looming shadow of Fish and quietly photoshopping Blake Lively into his vacation pics. Leaving you with the usual smattering of thinly-veiled jealousy, outward hatred, and overall hilarity I had a hell of a time choosing the best comment for last, so I’m calling the last two a tie.

I’ll be here, watching…waiting..

- Photo Boy

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The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 25

April 30th, 2011 // 183 Comments

Welcome to the 25th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring words said by you about people posted by me. It’s an intimate affair rife with skullduggery and probably the best comment I’ve ever read on the site, saved for last as always. Of course, that’s not counting all those other times I’ve said that because this time I really mean it. For now.

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News