Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 13

February 5th, 2011 // 127 Comments

Welcome to the lucky number 13 installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which happens to be our second largest, and probably most offensive. Then again, you’ll have this when Anderson Cooper is put in a situation involving fists, and Spider-Man is given super power bottom strength. But it’s not all man-love jokes: Kelly Ripa makes several appearances along with whatever the hell this is and Charlie Sheen‘s red flag-raising taste in porn stars. So basically everyone gets it in the butt, let’s leave it at that.

Plug away,

- The Superficial

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Photos: MySpace

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 12

January 29th, 2011 // 56 Comments

Welcome to The Most Important People on The Internet volume that officially makes these bad boys a veritable dozen in an egg crate of WTF. — I have no idea what I just said. At any rate, what this week’s collection lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality and SNL references that will make me never look at Molly Shannon the same way again. (Read: With pants.) Also, I’d like to give a special tip of the jimmy hat to commenter “Bowman” for dubbing Charlie Sheen’s porn star house “Clam Manor.” I don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but it is, so shut up and tell me I’m pretty before I pout the rest of the night.

You never take me anywhere anymore,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 11

January 22nd, 2011 // 85 Comments

Welcome to the 11th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which, as you can see, involves Octomom whipping a grown man in a diaper, so you know it’s going to be classy. In fact, I’ve even put on a top hat and cummerbund – and that’s about it.

Leaving you to it, old bean,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Courtesy of TMZ

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 10

January 15th, 2011 // 115 Comments

Welcome to the 10th – and largest – installment of The Most Important People On The Internet. There were so many ridiculous comments this week, I’m actually going to need you guys to tone it down before I’m out of a job. I’m joking, of course, because let’s not pretend I wouldn’t kill you all in your sleep before going back to retail. (I have your IP addresses.) On that note, I honestly couldn’t be more proud of this gallery. The largest installment until now had 23 comments, this bad boy is packing a whopping 36. That’s a 400% increase for you math majors out there.

Dig in,

- The Superficial

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Photo: WENN

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 9

January 8th, 2011 // 49 Comments

Now back in its original time slot, welcome to the ninth installment of The Most Important People On The Internet meaning, you, the commenters, for those just tuning in. On that note, I’d like to give a special thanks to “Iveski” for really knocking out the possible Kate Gosselin tattoo readings which you’ll see peppered throughout the gallery, denoted by the pic above. If I thought of at least half of these, I could finally quit this job and work the destroyed-by-child-birth tattoo circuit like I’ve always dreamed. It’d be like a Steinbeck novel, but with way more barren dust bowls.

Wear condoms,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Return of The Most Important People on The Internet

January 3rd, 2011 // 98 Comments

LET THE YEAR OF THE BONER BEGIN!

Welcome to the eighth installment of The Most Important People on The Internet. Full Disclosure: There was supposed to be one of these the Monday after Christmas, but honestly, there wasn’t much to work with and I promised myself I’d be an even shiftlessier layabout than usual this holiday season. No one likes a liar. However, I do want to acknowledge commenter “Jones” for brilliantly dubbing Coco’s camel toe the “Bantha Knuckle,” so please add that one to our national lexicon alongside “Wookiee Wallet” for we are now richer for both. On that note, enjoy this week’s collection complete with the best comment saved for last because it’s so poetic, we very well might be in the presence of our generation’s Shakespeare. I literally sobbed after reading it.

Parting is such sweet sorrow,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 7

December 18th, 2010 // 66 Comments

Welcome to the seventh installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which might as well be called, “Every Single Coco Pic From Friday Plus Some Other Shit.” In the meantime, this will be the last Saturday posting of these babies until the New Year. (Volumes 8 and 9 drop on Mondays.) Unless, of course, Santa wants to stick around and slap this thing together for me Christmas morning. But, no, “Wah, bringing toys to all the boys and girls is so hard.” Trying waking up at noon to copy and paste penis jokes next to Chelsea Handler‘s face, you fat bastard. God, nobody has any work ethic anymore.

And now I nap,

- The Superficial

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Photos: WireImage