Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.6

January 21st, 2012 // 111 Comments

Do not adjust your monitors. Cameron Diaz looks like this now.

Welcome to another journey of the soul we like to call The Most Important People on the Internet. This week, The Hoff was your muse proving that in this post-defeated SOPA world, only the lusciously barrel chested eater of floor-burgers is king.

May his reign not have onions like he asked,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.5

January 14th, 2012 // 73 Comments

Welcome to another exciting installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the largest selection of comments we’ve had in awhile, so clearly Simon Cowell’s moobs are your muse and we should devote 90% of the site to them. Well, consider your message received.

To man-titties and beyond!

- The Mooberficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.4

January 7th, 2012 // 100 Comments

After being forced to endure mind-numbing family conversation after mind-numbing family conversation with no discernible point or end in sight and learning that public schools are nothing but goddamn germ factories that turn your children into Typhoid Marys – *hacks 3/4ths of lung into wastebasket, wonders when Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dustin Hoffman are going to find that monkey* – welcome to the triumphantly dick-punching return of The Most Important People on the Internet featuring a surprisingly robust selection for only four days worth of posts. Clearly, Santa brought you all piss and vinegar for Christmas like I asked, so sorry about that Kindle you wanted. Life’s a cockhole.

Let’s try and do this every weekend, okay? I’ll bring fondue,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.3

December 23rd, 2011 // 63 Comments

Welcome to the two point three installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, bringing you sweet commenty manna in the desert after last week’s hiatus. Although, take heart, as I made sure to include all the comments from last week PLUS the ones from this week for a ginormous yule log of your thoughts that are so terrible, it’ll be a goddamn miracle if Santa doesn’t heave a bucket of coal onto your dicks for Christmas. Then again, I often believe vengeance is a dish best served.. in the dick? I honestly have no idea where I was going with that.

*dunks Marty Moose cup into eggnog, chugs, mumbles “Good, it’s good…”*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.2

December 10th, 2011 // 79 Comments

Welcome to the second point second installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring more “Ha! The microphone’s a dick” jokes than you can shake a dick microphone at. I couldn’t be more proud. *sniff* You’re in the family business now…

Give your ol’ papa a hug,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.1

December 3rd, 2011 // 174 Comments

Welcome to a brand new volume of The Most Important People on The Internet which for those of you just joining us, is our highlight post of all the horrible, horrible shit said in the comments a.k.a. the very best thoughts humanity has to offer. On that note, to kickstart this first installment, we made sure to go back and scoop up all the little nuggets from Thanksgiving week so your efforts were not in vain, and more importantly, I love a good Macaulay Culkin joke. Haha! Michael Jackson touched him.

Let me handle your decision-making: This post > Christmas shopping,

- The Superficial

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