Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 27

May 14th, 2011 // 72 Comments

Welcome to the 27th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, making this bad boy over half a year old, yet it’s still living in my basement. Anyway, this week, we’ve got a selection that’s as slim and lean as the Governator’s grope is long. And speaking of Arnold, to the two commenters who came up with memes we wish we thought of first, we gave your submissions a little extra sizzle. Not that we’re playing favorites or anything, but those two also get to go to college and have routine vaccinations while the rest of you get a pound of raw veal for Christmas. Ha! I’m kidding. The Bethenny one gets an education and medical care, too.

*tussles your hair*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 26

May 7th, 2011 // 79 Comments

Welcome to the 26th Installment of The Most Important People on The Internet: Photo Boy Edition. As the saying goes “parting is such sweet sorrow.” But please, don’t drink that poison yet! I’ll still be here, lurking behind the looming shadow of Fish and quietly photoshopping Blake Lively into his vacation pics. Leaving you with the usual smattering of thinly-veiled jealousy, outward hatred, and overall hilarity I had a hell of a time choosing the best comment for last, so I’m calling the last two a tie.

I’ll be here, watching…waiting..

- Photo Boy

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The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 25

April 30th, 2011 // 183 Comments

Welcome to the 25th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring words said by you about people posted by me. It’s an intimate affair rife with skullduggery and probably the best comment I’ve ever read on the site, saved for last as always. Of course, that’s not counting all those other times I’ve said that because this time I really mean it. For now.

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 24

April 22nd, 2011 // 228 Comments

Welcome to the 24th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you a day early this week because America comes to a grinding halt to honor fictional characters. Although, admittedly, I’m just salty there’s no National Batman Day. I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! Anyway, enjoy this assortment of barbs, yucks and offensive chicanery brought to you by some of the finest commenters on the Internet today. If they were a wine, I’d store them in my basement and forget they there until I moved. I don’t throw compliments around like that lightly.

See you Monday,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 23

April 16th, 2011 // 75 Comments

Welcome to the 23rd installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, meaning you, the commenters, and your comedic droppings left here in lieu of doing actual work. Because while your boss just signs your paycheck, I on the other hand, give you a forum to fight over how pretentious celebrity vegans are for an entire week. Also, bikinis. In the meantime, I’ve noticed a growing trend in people quoting Tim Burton’s Batman lately, and while none of them have made the cut to Most Important People yet [Ed. I stand corrected.], special kudos to Maximus for this gem left on yesterday’s Christie Brinkley pic:

Each product only contains one component. The poison only works when they’re mixed. Hair spray won’t do it alone. But hair spray and perfume and lipstick will be toxic and — untraceable.

I get a grin, again and again,

- The Superficial

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Photo: INFdaily

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 22

April 9th, 2011 // 119 Comments

Welcome to the double deuce volume of The Most Important People on the Internet: Now with 10% more midget jokes! That being said, I’m pretty sure everyone gets it in the dick this week from lesbians to gamma-radiated African-Americans (above) to whatever the hell Amanda Seyfried counts as. I don’t recall Spielberg ever giving E.T.’s race a name.

Will I get ants if I tape Reese’s Pieces to my sex parts? No reason,

- The Superficial

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Photo: INFdaily

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 21

April 2nd, 2011 // 111 Comments

Welcome to the 21st installment of The Most Important People on The Internet making it old enough to drink even though I’ve been pouring whiskey in it since it was but a wee sparkle in me bloggin’ fingers. On that note, I really don’t have much to say this week, but if you’re looking for an extra helping of commenty goodness, you can’t go wrong with these Boy George and Arnold Schwarzenegger threads. If they were my children and I was forced to pick a favorite, I’d mercy shoot them both in the face to spare one the pain of my rejection. Or so they’ll quit asking. Honestly, that’s the type of question that make me glad I have unprotected sex with women who are probably on the pill. (I don’t like to pry.)

Respecting ladies’ privacy since I found out you keep hygiene products in your purse,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News