Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.25

September 27th, 2014 // 33 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where a lot of you apparently had trouble coping with the loss of Sam Elliott’s mustache as you goddamn should. What kind of a sick, twisted world is this? Get me out of it! GET ME OUT OF HERE! – *breathes into paper bag* – There’s no point to anything more. – *breathes* – There’s just no point… More »

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.24

September 20th, 2014 // 18 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where I hope you like jokes about Michael Bay and the Amy Winehouse statue because that’s what literally half of these are. They were your muse. Anyway, we’ve got a short gallery, but it’s probably one of the more darker, so whatever’s happening in your lives to cause that, try and prolong it so you’ll keep being funnier on the Internet. Good talk.

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.22

August 23rd, 2014 // 29 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet our weekly grab-bag of all the horrible shits you say in the comments that I love as if they were my own children. You’ll notice there’s two Morgan Freeman comments this week, and that’s because you can’t read them without hearing them in his voice making each one awesome. On top of that, a bunch of you went fucking bananadong over Russell Mcjimmy‘s review of Nicki Minaj‘s “Anaconda” video, so I posted that in its entirety down below which reminded me of McFeely Smackup‘s epic review of Farrah Abraham‘s sex tape from May 2013. I could’ve sworn that shit happened just the other day. You’re all growing up way too fast. I don’t like it!

Russell Mcjimmy’s ‘Anaconda’ Review After The Jump

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.21

August 8th, 2014 // 31 Comments

So good news: I survived Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without vital organs sloughing out of my butt. However, the loss of my time along with subsequent brain damage will affect every man, woman, and child on the planet. Or just the ones following me on Twitter. Anyway, to make up for a light day while I get to work writing about everything wrong with Hollywood ninja kicking a robot samurai, here’s this week’s The Most Important People on The Internet which may include a selection from my “private collection.” I’m still a bit disoriented from seeing a movie that entirely hinges on Megan Fox‘s acting. There aren’t enough filthy Ferraris in the world to justify that. Unless Michael Bay‘s moved onto economy sedans… Jesus Christ, we’re all dead.

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.20

July 26th, 2014 // 33 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet because sometimes this site makes fun of celebrities instead of talking about nerd shit for an entire morning. (I’m as shocked as you are.) So enjoy all of that while I sit around refreshing Comic-Con updates because how fun can women’s vaginas be? No, seriously, I’m asking. Tell me everything.

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.19

July 18th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you way earlier than usual because you were robbed of a The Crap We Missed and, fuck it, it’s Friday in the middle of July. So here’s your commentical goodness for the week excluding any What the hell’s up with Britney Spears‘ face? gems which I’ve been shoving into that post like so many Furnch Fries. You can practically hear her giggle if her face was capable of moving. Aren’t there laws against Botoxing the retarded? Because there should be laws against Botoxing the retarded. Get me Washington.

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.18

July 12th, 2014 // 62 Comments

Welcome to a mammoth-sized installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which combines the best of this week and last for an experience that lasts way longer than me in the sack, so there’s a chance it might even give a woman an orgasm if the female orgasm was real and not something I keep buying treasure maps to find while repeatedly forgetting cartographers don’t work in crayon. Or finger paints. But enough about the past 20 years of my life, you kids have fun.

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.17

June 28th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that features yet another, remarkably robust showing and probably the best Tom Cruise joke I’ve ever seen in all my years of celebrity tit blogging. But enough about Midget Jesus The Levitating Space Prince, let’s get right into this week’s Long One™ which paints a scene so inspirational and heartwarming Christopher Reeve rose from the dead and kicked a horse in the face. I couldn’t believe it: More »