Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 45

September 17th, 2011 // 82 Comments

Welcome to the 45th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by the good folks over at FTD’s hydrangea department who remind us that the only way to defeat the harpy queen is to seek the Rainbow Sword nestled in the heart of Mount Dread. Only it’s mythical blade can pierce her skin restoring peace and harmony to small African children everywhere. Or just in Africa.

We ride!

- The Superficial

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Photos: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 44

September 10th, 2011 // 160 Comments

Welcome to the 44th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, our weekly roundup of your comments presented in glorious Click-o-vision. This week heralds the return of McFeely Smackup along with a strong showing by newcomer cheese mitts, plus a smorgasbord of The Avengers captions – and a sweet meme – that I wish I had the testicular fortitude to think of first. Not only that, but I’m 90% confident Gilberator just nailed the movie’s final scene, so Spoiler Alert on that last pic.

Until next time, true believer,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 43

September 3rd, 2011 // 194 Comments

Welcome to the 43rd installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring more LeAnn Rimes jokes than you can shake a LeAnn Rimes at because she’s a stick with tits. On that note, Photo Boy and I will adjourn for the Labor Day weekend to honor our grueling, backbreaking, pantsless work in the celebrity boob mines you people call the Internet. We’ll also toast Petey our black lung canary who we forgot to feed on account of looking at said boobs. He died bravely.

See you Tuesday,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 42

August 27th, 2011 // 70 Comments

Welcome to the 42nd installment of The Most Important People on The Internet and I hope you guys like homoerotic Matrix jokes centered around David Hasselhoff. Otherwise, it’s about to get pretty awkward when I start pantomiming masturbating onto KITT in bullet time… THE ARISTOCRATS! But in all seriousness, if you don’t love Hoff humor you’re a fucking cyborg incapable of love and human emotion and will probably die alone.

Someone had to break it to you gently,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Fame

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 41

August 20th, 2011 // 96 Comments

Welcome to the 41st installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which is still considered sexy even if it now has to take a pill so it can be ready “when the moment is right.” This week’s winner was amazingly not from one of the Tara Reid posts, even though you did your best to unleash a torrent of hate against her med school experiment of a torso. Extremely close runner-up goes to KillMeNow with what I’m calling the sharpest observation in the history of the internet, but alas, there can be only one.

Toni, you had me at ejaculate,

- Photo Boy

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The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 40

August 13th, 2011 // 167 Comments

Welcome to the 40th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that’s quality over quantity this week, and just a reminder, I always save the best one for last. I’m pointing that out because this is the first time a ton of you called out a comment for being hilarious, and it actually was to the point that I whipped myself with a cat o’ nine tails for not thinking of it first. Also, it feels sassy!

I’ve over-shared again,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 39

August 6th, 2011 // 96 Comments

Welcome to the 39th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, populated by your comments because, surprisingly, not all of them are a strange, disturbing outlet for gratuitous racism and homophobia to hide one’s inadequacies, just 99.9% of them. (I say that with love.) On that note, here’s one that I hope is real because it’s proof that reality is always way more hilarious than manufactured comedy. From LuLu on the Samuel L. Jackson golfing post:

I was actually at a charity golf tourney in Portland, OR years ago and he was playing. After every shot, we heard him say ’solid gold!’…its was fucking hilarious!!!

Somebody find out what deity I need to offer a sacrifice to to make that true. I’ll be out back hosing off the altar from when I made those Blake Lively nude pics happen which I probably should’ve got around to sooner, but my neighbors threatened to call the Homeowners Association and I’m a spiteful motherfucker.

Rectus dominus,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 38

July 30th, 2011 // 142 Comments

Welcome to the 38th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet loaded to maximum capacity with your comments because, and I mean this, you people are the real stars, except when it’s paycheck time and then you’re all mopeds. “McFeely who? I have no idea what that person looks like pantsless behind a Chinese buffet…” On that note, if I haven’t mentioned this before, we’re in the process of putting together a brand new photo gallery experience along with a much better commenting system, so soon, Internet Jesus willing, all of our penis jokes can fly into this site like Tila Tequi- Wow! I’m gonna stop right there. I already said her name twice this morning, and you don’t want to know what happens when you say it a third time. (Chlamydia. You get chlamydia.)

Tally ho,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News