Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.11

March 3rd, 2012 // 85 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on the Internet where Jessica Simpson‘s manatee-fetus was clearly your last minute muse because there’s at least three comments in here. On that note, I didn’t even know how to choose from this Lil Wayne thread, so I’d be a shitty purveyor of breasts and wiener jokes if I didn’t bring it to your attention.

Serious note, I joke about the midwest, but best of luck to everyone out there who can’t even sit down for a cup of coffee without a tornado punching their house in the dick. So if you’ve got a couple bucks to kick to the Red Cross to help out your fellow Americans, Donate Here.

- The Superficial

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This goes out to my boy Big Wheel, single wheeledly keeping the economy flowin’ by makin’ it rain on them bitches. And, yes, I am the whitest person alive:

Photo: Bauer-Griffin

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.10

February 25th, 2012 // 120 Comments

After a presidential hiatus, welcome to the tenth installment of The Most Important People on The Internet in this second volume of our Lord which features some of the most pitch-perfectly random references I’ve seen in a while. Seriously, you’ll never look at Alexander Skarsgard the same way again, unless you’ve always had some sort of weird Christmas-themed elf-fucking fetish. (Not to be confused with my love of Dinklage.) In which case, bring tissues.

Feliz Navidad,

- The Superficial

P.S. There will be more Stephen Hawking. Oh, yes, there will be more…

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.9

February 11th, 2012 // 84 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where Photo Boy and I highlight the comments from throughout the week that make us laugh and/or fear for the future humanity. On that note, the threads are about to get a nice overhaul shortly and soon you little shitheads will get to embed videos, gifs, etc. along with voting your favorite comments up and down. You’ll feel like you’ve never truly lived.

I posted ScarJo bikini pics way past my drinking/bedtime last night. Look at them,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.8

February 4th, 2012 // 129 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the best of the horrible shit you shit-slingers slung this week. Shit like this gem from commenter me which almost blows away the competition because here’s the hilarious part: He/she actually believe this.. From Snoop Dogg Endorses Ron Paul:

I read in his book that during his training he was required to observe an abortion. They literally removed the baby, put it in a bucket and sat it in the corner of the room. He vowed then never to perform an abortion. He’s also stated they are rarely necessary to save a mother’s life. I don’t know, he’s the ob-byn, not me.

Just so we’re all clear: Abortions are when an “ob-byn” pulls out a whole baby for shits and giggles – “Save the mother.” Ha! – and just tosses it in an old bucket like a rag doll.

Greatest country on earth, folks,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.7

January 28th, 2012 // 77 Comments

Quick, what’s Kashyyyk for “papa?”

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet covering this week’s random shit-spray of topics: From Liam Neeson breaking every single infidel’s face with his particular set of skills to that time Miley Cyrus sloppily tried to blow a giant penis cake because she’s a southern lady. Or basically the two exact moments in our civilization when future anthropologists will point and go, “Yup, right here. Right here is when they were fucked. Tell Cat-Master Somerhalder to prepare the time litter. His hour is at hand.”

Help us, Kitty-Kat Detective, you’re our only hope,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Courtesy of Hollywoodite

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.6

January 21st, 2012 // 111 Comments

Do not adjust your monitors. Cameron Diaz looks like this now.

Welcome to another journey of the soul we like to call The Most Important People on the Internet. This week, The Hoff was your muse proving that in this post-defeated SOPA world, only the lusciously barrel chested eater of floor-burgers is king.

May his reign not have onions like he asked,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.5

January 14th, 2012 // 73 Comments

Welcome to another exciting installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the largest selection of comments we’ve had in awhile, so clearly Simon Cowell’s moobs are your muse and we should devote 90% of the site to them. Well, consider your message received.

To man-titties and beyond!

- The Mooberficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.4

January 7th, 2012 // 100 Comments

After being forced to endure mind-numbing family conversation after mind-numbing family conversation with no discernible point or end in sight and learning that public schools are nothing but goddamn germ factories that turn your children into Typhoid Marys – *hacks 3/4ths of lung into wastebasket, wonders when Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dustin Hoffman are going to find that monkey* – welcome to the triumphantly dick-punching return of The Most Important People on the Internet featuring a surprisingly robust selection for only four days worth of posts. Clearly, Santa brought you all piss and vinegar for Christmas like I asked, so sorry about that Kindle you wanted. Life’s a cockhole.

Let’s try and do this every weekend, okay? I’ll bring fondue,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News