Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.13

March 24th, 2012 // 122 Comments

After a two-week hiatus, welcome to the triumphant return of The Most Important People on The Internet which is stuffed to the gills with your horrible, celebrity-induced mind-sharts. And, seriously, you guys brought the goods this week, so I’m going to step right the fuck out of the way and let you dive into the gallery that gave me an asshole of time trying to decide who gets the coveted last spot which I’m already thinking about changing to the Michael Bolton one. Or, no, the Jon Hamm app one.

Goddammit,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.12

March 10th, 2012 // 115 Comments

Welcome to this week’s The Most Important People on The Internet now with 80% more donut-burger induced neck-boils. Ha! You kids and your skin growths. And for those of you new to the site, this is where we gather up all the horrible shit said in the comments and make people read them all over again for the very first time. Think of us as almost-Christ-like figures with similar re-virginating powers as Jesus, except after we revirginate you we go, “So… wanna get naked?” And, yes, I realize that was the most accurate description of this feature I’ve ever written. I’m in awe myself.

Blessed be the penis jokes,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.11

March 3rd, 2012 // 85 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on the Internet where Jessica Simpson‘s manatee-fetus was clearly your last minute muse because there’s at least three comments in here. On that note, I didn’t even know how to choose from this Lil Wayne thread, so I’d be a shitty purveyor of breasts and wiener jokes if I didn’t bring it to your attention.

Serious note, I joke about the midwest, but best of luck to everyone out there who can’t even sit down for a cup of coffee without a tornado punching their house in the dick. So if you’ve got a couple bucks to kick to the Red Cross to help out your fellow Americans, Donate Here.

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

This goes out to my boy Big Wheel, single wheeledly keeping the economy flowin’ by makin’ it rain on them bitches. And, yes, I am the whitest person alive:

Photo: Bauer-Griffin

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.10

February 25th, 2012 // 120 Comments

After a presidential hiatus, welcome to the tenth installment of The Most Important People on The Internet in this second volume of our Lord which features some of the most pitch-perfectly random references I’ve seen in a while. Seriously, you’ll never look at Alexander Skarsgard the same way again, unless you’ve always had some sort of weird Christmas-themed elf-fucking fetish. (Not to be confused with my love of Dinklage.) In which case, bring tissues.

Feliz Navidad,

- The Superficial

P.S. There will be more Stephen Hawking. Oh, yes, there will be more…

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.9

February 11th, 2012 // 84 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where Photo Boy and I highlight the comments from throughout the week that make us laugh and/or fear for the future humanity. On that note, the threads are about to get a nice overhaul shortly and soon you little shitheads will get to embed videos, gifs, etc. along with voting your favorite comments up and down. You’ll feel like you’ve never truly lived.

I posted ScarJo bikini pics way past my drinking/bedtime last night. Look at them,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.8

February 4th, 2012 // 129 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the best of the horrible shit you shit-slingers slung this week. Shit like this gem from commenter me which almost blows away the competition because here’s the hilarious part: He/she actually believe this.. From Snoop Dogg Endorses Ron Paul:

I read in his book that during his training he was required to observe an abortion. They literally removed the baby, put it in a bucket and sat it in the corner of the room. He vowed then never to perform an abortion. He’s also stated they are rarely necessary to save a mother’s life. I don’t know, he’s the ob-byn, not me.

Just so we’re all clear: Abortions are when an “ob-byn” pulls out a whole baby for shits and giggles – “Save the mother.” Ha! – and just tosses it in an old bucket like a rag doll.

Greatest country on earth, folks,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.7

January 28th, 2012 // 77 Comments

Quick, what’s Kashyyyk for “papa?”

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet covering this week’s random shit-spray of topics: From Liam Neeson breaking every single infidel’s face with his particular set of skills to that time Miley Cyrus sloppily tried to blow a giant penis cake because she’s a southern lady. Or basically the two exact moments in our civilization when future anthropologists will point and go, “Yup, right here. Right here is when they were fucked. Tell Cat-Master Somerhalder to prepare the time litter. His hour is at hand.”

Help us, Kitty-Kat Detective, you’re our only hope,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Courtesy of Hollywoodite

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.6

January 21st, 2012 // 111 Comments

Do not adjust your monitors. Cameron Diaz looks like this now.

Welcome to another journey of the soul we like to call The Most Important People on the Internet. This week, The Hoff was your muse proving that in this post-defeated SOPA world, only the lusciously barrel chested eater of floor-burgers is king.

May his reign not have onions like he asked,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Getty