Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.24

June 9th, 2012 // 84 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring the largest selection of comments we’ve seen in a while so hookers and coke for everyone! Yay! Also, somebody made a sweet Futurama reference which may be a first, but then again, I drink a lot and the ol’ memory ain’t what it used to be. On that note, if you were honestly expecting me to interrupt my weekly rejuvenation regimen to comment on the Lindsay Lohan accident/publicity stunt (Which I’ll get to Monday.) refer back to that last sentence which may or may not contain words that are relevant to these other words that somehow appeared in front of me. Don’t quote me on that.

And that’s the story of how my best friend Bucky died fighting lazer Nazis,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.23

June 2nd, 2012 // 58 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on the Internet where, if you’ll indulge me for a minute, I want to respond to commenter Eric on last week’s edition:

I’d like to know how comments get picked for Most Important People. Some really smart, funny comments never make it and some really dumb ones do. Some with a high number of thumbs ups don’t make it either. What’s the secret?

This is really a great question because the answer sheds a light on how hard it is to write comedy from the comfort of my home, mostly while not even changing out of pajama pants until the twilight hours. It’s terrible, I know. Anyway, the comments that make it are the ones that at the moment I read them manage to crack through my hard cynical shell and bring some level of titter to my mouth. Of course, this is entirely dependent on my mood – much like when you read the site – because comedy is extremely subjective which is why I have several ulcers that make me Photo Boy ritualistically commit murders in a secluded cabin based on books of The Bible.

I He sees your sloth,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.22

May 26th, 2012 // 89 Comments

Welcome to another infected exciting installment of The Most Important People on the Internet brought to you by the letters, S, T and D and featuring an almost gynecological glimpse into Paris Hilton‘s death-hole that you get to stare at until we get back on Tuesday. Think of it as our way of saying thanks for coming up with funny shit to populate this post each week. (We always give the best gifts, I know.)

Now would be a good time to start buying hand sanitizer in bulk,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Pacific Coast News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.21

May 19th, 2012 // 63 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where I’m starting to realize Alan Moore references have become the new Star Wars jokes. I’ll allow it. On that note, it’s nice to see Sean Connery make his first appearance even if the comment is little on the nose, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t look like he’s saying it or getting ready to swiftly apply his hand to a woman’s bottom for daring to interrupt man talk. Probably both.

*makes note to call Photo Boy “Miss Moneypenny” from here on out*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.20

May 12th, 2012 // 77 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a virtual menagerie of pearls hand-picked out of the goddamn piranha tank known as the comment threads. On that note, this gallery is one of very rare times one of you actually made me – God, I hate this phrase. – laugh out loud, but all I say is, it hits you once you see the thumb.

I tossed in the Kim Kardashian one because it’s science fact,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Glen McCurtayne/Coleman-Rayner

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.19

May 5th, 2012 // 57 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that begins and ends with Mariah Carey‘s cameltoe. Not only did you find a most fruitful muse but I also think it’s metaphor of how we come into this world and my ultimately exit it. Also, honorable mention has to go to spartacus who probably would have snagged the coveted final spot if the Arnold Schwarzenegger pic had been from this week. So bravo, sir, ma’am, or angry 13-year-old in between masturbation sessions, you’ve once again made me laugh at humanity’s gradual slide into nonexistence.

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.18

April 28th, 2012 // 45 Comments

Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where your snarky hatred was nearly derailed by pit bull owners almost unanimously saying the breed gets a bad wrap because of thoughtlessly violent jackholes like Chris Brown as well as a fierce debate over the merits of Canada’s welfare system (Thanks for that, Octomom.) But you powered through and found clever ways to call these people; a shameless whore, fat, moronic, shameless whore again, boring, incontinent, hopeless drug addict, irrelevant, batshit, irrelevant again, reptilian, gay, ugly and back to shameless whore, or what we like to call Ground Zero around here.

*single tear rolls down cheek, golf claps* Well played faithful readers, well played,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Pacific Coast News