Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.51

December 16th, 2012 // 42 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you a day later than usual because we’re on the brink of bringing you a sweet, new gallery experience that’s finally the way you’ve all asked without the page reloading for every single pic. In fact, you may be looking at right now while you’re reading this, or maybe not, but I’ve seen it, possibly even caressed it, and it’s coming. Also, I was at a six-year-old’s birthday party yesterday and for once, in light of a horrible tragedy, I’m not going to make my usual joke about it being a unbearable hell because I literally walked around hugging every little kid and pissing off their parents by letting them do whatever they want because you never fucking know in this stupid, shitbag country. “What’s that, Timmy? You want a shot of espresso? RACK EM UP.”

Has anyone seen my wallet? Oh, right, that game of Craps behind the bouncy house…

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.50

December 8th, 2012 // 68 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, coming at you later than usual today for a reason that will literally make each and every one of you say, “JESUS, are you alright?” as soon as you read it. Here goes: Family Christmas photos, and fuck me, I’m already having flashbacks.

Lithium. Must have lithium…

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.49

December 1st, 2012 // 58 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring probably the most random assortment of celebrity – using the term loosely – WTF that we’ve had a while. No, really this thing has Robert Redford, Neil Diamond, Rebel Wilson and Billy Ray Cyrus in a book store which I always assumed would cause his mullet to transform into a reasonable haircut robbing him of his redneck powers. My whole world is a lie now.

Only two more of these until Christmas, so drink deeply from its commentical stream,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.48

November 21st, 2012 // 135 Comments

So remember over the weekend when I said there wouldn’t be another Most Important People until December? Psyche! But, seriously, thanks to The AMAs and your all around awesomeness, we actually had enough commentical goodness for a gallery I’d proudly post any weekend. So enjoy this shortened week’s edition while Photo Boy and I prepare our livers for an exciting Thanksgiving Day of not saying a goddamn word as our family members blame minorities and Obama phones for costing Romney the election. “If I agree the fighting in Israel proves Obama is the Antichrist, will you pass me the yams? I just want some yams.”

See you Monday,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.47

November 17th, 2012 // 88 Comments

Welcome to another asshole-tacular installment of The Most Important People on The Internet and possibly the last one you’ll see until December, so hold it close. This week, a special shout out to Deacon Jones for letting his nerd flag fly with a ridiculous Fringe reference, and also a tip of the jimmy hat to USDA Prime McBeef and ThisWillHurt for making me literally debate for hours over which of their comments should go in the coveted last spot, so you’ll all probably be extremely shocked when you see the Star Wars one won. Although I did try to make an alcohol sandwich which may or may not have been me just dipping WonderBread into a coffee cup full of Maker’s Mark then vomiting fermented dough. (I should open up one of those food trucks, I know.)

Bon appetit,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.46

November 10th, 2012 // 100 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which I don’t even know why I bothered posting it because who can laugh now in a world where Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez‘s love no longer exists? I can’t even bring myself to make a penis joke about it yet, that’s how devastated I am. What do we tell our children? What do we tell ourselves?

This is what it sounds like when doves cry,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.45

November 3rd, 2012 // 54 Comments

Welcome to another penis-joke-citing installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, our weekly compilation of the horrible things you people say in the comments that make us laugh because we’re equally as horrible if not worse. Think of it as a triumph of the human spirit if the human spirit’s true purpose is to make jokes about sphincters and child molestation which would be stupid if it wasn’t. Who could possibly want to live in a world like that?

Give me ass jokes or give me death,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.44

October 27th, 2012 // 102 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by the genius of Gilberator and more Jon Hamm‘s penis jokes that you can shake Jon Hamm‘s penis at. There’s even a Fassbender one because it’s that exact level of commitment and dedication to dick jokes that’s made The Superficial the #1 Buttfuck People Blog for two Buttfuck years running.

In Difficult Brown we trust,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News