Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Demi Lovato Made Naked Pictures

April 6th, 2014 // 45 Comments

Like my contemporaries God and his hippie bastard of a son, I don’t work on Sundays. Except today’s a special Sunday because Demi Lovato‘s naked pictures just leaked and I’ll be horse-damned if I’m going to renege on my sacred journalistic oath to put boobies on the Internet. Also, if I’m being frank, this is how I show love. This is how I show my love. Let’s get an apartment.

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

We Went To The Movies And All You Got Are These Jennifer Metcalfe Bikini Photos

April 4th, 2014 // 46 Comments

Alright, folks, apparently the summer blockbuster season starts the first weekend of April now, so by the time you’re reading this Photo Boy and I are on our way to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier where there will be no hand holding or butterfly kisses. I don’t care what that hobo we paid to film us says. He’s a drunk. So while we do that, and you wait with bated breath for my review later today, here’s whoever the hell Jennifer Metcalfe is. (The bikini pickins were slim. Sue me.) And if that does nothing for you, below is Conan O’Brien giving Jordan Schlansky a cowboy makeover which should immediately send you plummeting down a YouTube hole to find more of him because my God:

Conan Gives Jordan Schlansky A Cowboy Makeover After The Jump

Lindsay Lohan’s Telling People She Was Supposed To Be In ‘The Avengers’ Now

April 4th, 2014 // 43 Comments
Guess Who's Broke Again
Lindsay Lohan Jimmy Fallon
$2 Million Barely Buys You Any Coke, You Guys Read More »

In a new episode of her reality show, serial liar Lindsay Lohan claims she was supposed to be in The Avengers, but her manager screwed the whole thing up by “not pushing hard enough.” Oh, and also they wanted an “unknown,” so it would’ve never worked because she’s Lindsay Lohan: Movie Star. Except Uproxx expertly deduced that the only possible role she could’ve been, but absolutely was not, up for is Maria Hill which went to Cobie Smulders, the star of a long-running, popular sitcom and not in any way an “unknown” beneath Lindsay Lohan. So just to put all of this in perspective, here’s what Lindsay Lohan was doing in late 2010/early 2011 while Cobie was consistently and professionally showing up for work and Marvel was looking at actresses: More »

Isn’t Miley Cyrus Already A Porn Parody?

April 4th, 2014 // 32 Comments

You’d think a porn parody of Miley Cyrus would be redundant, but fortunately the fine folks in the adult film industry have yet to meet a product they couldn’t slap dicks and butts into which is why I’m patiently waiting for Backdoorgammon XXX and You Sunk My Battledick. Anyway, below is a crazy NSFW link to the trailer for Molly’s Wrecking Ball a porn parody of Miley Cyrus’ life starring Miley May who should probably never occupy the same space as as our universe’s Miley, or else the very fabric of existence will vagina diddle itself right the fuck out. I don’t know who brought her over, but I have a pretty good hunch.

Molly’s Wrecking Ball Trailer – PornerBros.com (NSFW)

Photos: Twitter

Good Morning, Paige Butcher, And Other News

April 4th, 2014 // 11 Comments

- Anthony Mackie knows how to promote a movie. [Lainey Gossip]

- Katy Perry‘s little sister is the Ginger Devil. [Dlisted]

- In Life There’s Underboob And Then There’s Everything Else [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham apparently believes she looks like Jessica Alba. [Fishwrapper]

- Kate Upton‘s fancy now. [Popoholic]

- ‘There’s Probably Semen On That’: 3 Days At The AVNs [FilmDrunk]

- Meeting Lady GaGa was on Bill Murray‘s bucket list. Stop respecting him now. [tooFab]

- Lauren Dally does FHM Turkey. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Want To “Save Marriage?” Stop Telling Woman What To Do [The Frisky]

- The rest of Miranda Kerr‘s topless GQ shoot. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: Splash News

Charlee Sheen’s Porn Star Fiancee Won’t Let Him Pay Denise Richards Child Support

April 3rd, 2014 // 35 Comments
This Should End Well
Denise Richards Bikini
Charlie Sheen Decided To Stop Paying Child Support Read More »

A few weeks back I posted about Charlie Sheen being two months behind on Denise Richard‘s child support because he just decided to stop paying it. Well, now he’s three months behind, and it turns out the reason why is because his porn star fiancee Brett Rossi is in charge of his finances now because it’s always a good idea to let someone who thinks directly disobeying ignoring a court order is smart money-management. I bet she uses Quicken. Radar reports: More »

Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

April 3rd, 2014 // 15 Comments
Scarlett Johansson Lucy
WATCH: 'Lucy' - Official Trailer

Here’s the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)