Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Ela Rose In A Bikini Is The Crap I Missed

December 4th, 2014 // 35 Comments

Here’s Ela Rose who you’ll notice is not a treatise on racism or justified outrage at police brutality, but instead an attractive woman with giant breasts. And while we’re talking about breasts, let’s set the record straight on 138 Water: I’m in no way paid to post their pics. In fact, here’s how it works. I have unlimited access to a photo agency who carries the pics, so essentially I’m getting free photos of hot chicks in bikinis to generate clicks, you’re getting free photos of hot chicks in bikinis to generate an erection, and 138 Water is getting the off-chance dudes will stop masturbating and notice a bottle because advertising’s basically gambling. The End.

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Photos: FameFlynet

Lindsay Lohan’s Crotch Will Sell You Clothes Now

December 4th, 2014 // 31 Comments
'I'm Making A Comeback!'
Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt Charlotte Tilburys Backstage Beauty Booth Counter Launch
No, You're Not. Shut Up. Read More »

If there’s one constant that stops Lindsay Lohan from swallowing a bunch of pills and not waking up in the morning, it’s that Earth drugs can’t kill her now. But if there’s another constant, it’s that some idiot somewhere is waiting to hand her money for some stupid project that will end badly. Which brings us to Lindsay’s new CivilxLohan clothing line now available at PacSun which is apparently still around. Because if there’s one thing young hepcats today love, it’s clothes endorsed by actresses who haven’t been relevant since 2004. And I honestly don’t know if that counts as sarcasm because I have no fucking clue what kids are into these days except for tweeting random nonsense at people who call Ariana Grande a toddler. I do know they like that. We rapped.

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Photo: Civil Regime

Miley Cyrus Wore A Dang Ol’ Boobie T-Shirt

December 4th, 2014 // 9 Comments

It’s becoming more and more evident that the police can murder minorities with impunity, but are any of those people wearing boobie T-shirts? No. No, they are not. So here’s Miley Cyrus wearing a T-shirt with naked breasts on it which is probably the most important piece of information some of you will read today if not your entire life. You thought this was going to be another boring day, but then POW, I just turned everything you know upside down. Ducks say “moo,” cows swim underwater with their asses up, nothing will ever be the same again! *swigs scotch, ignores every life decision leading up to this point*

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Photos: FameFlynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Jenna Chapple Is Subtle And Other News

December 4th, 2014 // 13 Comments

- Amber Heard is putting Johnny Depp‘s scarves on the curb soon. [Lainey Gossip]

- Annie Lennox basically calls Madonna an attention whore. [Fishwrapper]

- Godammit, there’s another Duggar coming. Somebody get a scientist pregnant. Quick, quickly now! [Dlisted]

- Redheads, We Need You Now More Than Ever [theCHIVE]

- For the man lovers, a whole bunch of GIFs of Jax Teller‘s butt. [The Frisky]

- And now back to Jessie J‘s. [WWTDD]

- Black St. Louis cops thank the St. Louis Rams and shit all over their department. [Death and Taxes]

- Anne-Julie Proux in lingerie is flexible. [Popoholic]

- Claudia Romani‘s ass is still fantastic. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Emma Watson took off her coat at the British Fashion Awards and all hell broke loose. [COED]

- That’s Rihanna‘s areola. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Michelle Lewin’s Bikini Butt Is The Crap I Missed

December 3rd, 2014 // 31 Comments

Somehow I survived The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show without Photo Boy, so now’s the part where you leave me the fuck alone and stare deeply into Michelle Lewin‘s butt until I make with a new 138 Water chick in the morning even though she won’t handle a candle to Stefanie Knight. Seriously, all of them should just quit. Not counting Colleen Shannon, Abigail Ratchford, Amanda Cerny, Yasmine Colt, Cassie Cardelle, and Raquel Rischard and Chelsea Heath. (Did I forget anybody?)

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Photos: Splash News

Kourtney Kardashian’s Doing Naked Stuff Now

December 3rd, 2014 // 38 Comments

Kourtney Kardashian might be 18 months pregnant, but Kim posed naked last month, and now it’s her turn because Kris Jenner‘s bitches get dem asses out there and work that Internet corner and she don’t want to hear nothin’ about it. So here’s Kourtney posing nude for DuJour in hopes that she’ll see her children again. Which is odd considering she’s the only one who can speak Khloe. You’d think that would give her all the power.

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Photo: DuJour

That ‘Suicide Squad’ Movie With Jared Leto As The Joker Is Happening

December 3rd, 2014 // 18 Comments
Margot Robbie's Nipples
Margot Robbie Wolf of Wall Street
Oh, And Something About The Joker's Girlfriend Read More »

Yesterday, Warner Bros. confirmed in a press release that Jared Leto will play The Joker in the film version of Suicide Squad along with announcing the rest of the cast which includes:

Will Smith as Deadshot (“BUT HE’S WHITE!” – The Internet soon)
Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn
Tom Hardy as Rick Flag
Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang (I don’t care if IMDB says “Boomerang,” it’s Captain Boomerang.)
Cara Delevingne as Enchantress (Yup, that Cara Delevingne.)

Jesse Eisenberg is also apparently supposed to show up as Lex Luthor because Suicide Squad will be the same universe as Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice which Badass Digest reports will not feature The Joker, however, he will already exist in that world and “Superman knows about him” which is just as exciting as confronting him visually on camera if you ask people who hate moving pictures. More »

The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

December 3rd, 2014 // 47 Comments

Now that we’ve seen Taylor Swift serenading a woman’s butt and Chris Hansen‘s greatest sting yet, here’s the rest of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featuring models I didn’t have time to label, so it’s on you to remember what their names are. They have feelings, you bastard!

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Photos: Abaca/Xposure/AKM-GSI, Getty, Splash News