Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

That’s Jessica Johnson To You

July 15th, 2014 // 4 Comments

Because weird Instagram photos that she actually thinks are sexy is Jessica Simpson‘s new bag, here she is announcing to the word that she’s Jessica Johnson now. Which seems sad at first, until you realize there’s no possible way anyone could’ve explained what a mark is without her going, “Haha! That’s a boy’s name.” Then again, the two-year-old might get it and start stashing money away in her dollhouse. Someone fetch me my puppets. — What? You don’t have puppets? That makes you the weirdo, not me.

Photos: Instagram

Quick, Check Selena Gomez’s Breasts For Scars, And Other News

July 14th, 2014 // 18 Comments

- I hope they name this one Usurp Gingerbottom after his uncle. [Lainey Gossip]

- Christopher Walken will be your tap-dancing Captain Hook. [Dlisted]

- Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE]

- Nicole Richie has a fashion empire while Paris Hilton is still pulling shit from 2005. [Fishwrapper]

- Here’s how the first day of The Opie & Jim Show went. [The Daily Banter]

- What’s up, Mayra Suarez? [Popoholic]

- Lindsay Lohan is fucking delusional. [Starpulse]

- Get a good look at Kristin Cavallari‘s son before he dies from whooping cough. [tooFab]

- Nina Agdal in yoga pants. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Terry Richardson shot an entire issue of Playboy. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI

Christian Author Farrah Abraham Wants You To Buy Her Pocket Pussy

July 14th, 2014 // 90 Comments

You probably know Farrah Abraham from her upcoming book on Christian parenting, so you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that like most Christ-loving authors, she also has a line of erotic sex toys which she launched over the weekend by licking them right in the rubber vulva. A move she learned from none other than T.D. Jakes. Or was it Max Lucado? Either way, remembering my parents’ bookshelf is fun!

Farrah Abraham’s Sex Toys After The Jump

Jenny McCarthy Has A SiriusXM Show Now

July 14th, 2014 // 18 Comments

Jenny McCarthy has huge, fake tits that people want to look at while ignoring every single word that comes out of her mouth, so naturally SiriusXM hired her for a radio show. (To the Anthony Cumia fans who said it’s run by idiots, you win.) It’s almost like they don’t realize that talking is a manufacturer’s defect, and eventually she’ll be recalled once enough kids die. Of course, one should’ve done it, but that’s America for you. Go, capitalism!

Photos: JAYO/AKM-GSI, FameFlynet

It’s Safe To Ask Katherine Heigl If She’s Difficult Now, She Can’t Do Anything

July 14th, 2014 // 23 Comments
Remember Katherine Heigl?
Katherine Heigl Cleavage Congressional Coalition On Adoption Institute Gala
Of Course You Don't Because Her Mom Sucks Read More »

For those of you don’t remember Katherine Heigl – which is understandable – she was once an aspiring actress who catapulted to fame by starring in Knocked Up and the ABC drama Grey’s Anatomy only to publicly shit on both projects before starring in a series of repetitive romantic comedies with each one tanking harder than the last. On top of that, her mother Nancy was a constant, ball-busting presence on sets which is why Katherine is not only doing network television again, but being asked questions about how difficult she is directly to her face which is exactly what happened this weekend. Even better, someone asked how the hell her mom is an executive producer – with Nancy sitting right there. EW.com reports: More »

HILARY. DUFF. BIKINI. PHOTOS.

July 14th, 2014 // 42 Comments

If you’ve been following the site lately, then you’re probably aware of my recent obsession with Hilary Duff. Shit, I invited you all to the wedding. (Still need those RVSPs.) And if you work for law enforcement, then you’ve probably been waiting for me to slip up, so you can finally land that restraining order. So here’s that, and I’ll just go ahead and handcuff myself in the front yard to save everyone the rush. Love has no regrets!

Photos: FameFlynet

Jessica Alba Bikini Photos Don’t Wait Until Morning And Other News

July 13th, 2014 // 23 Comments

- Rachel McAdams and Jake Gyllenhaal drank at my old college bar. Their pee burns now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Forever 21 once fired Chrissy Teigen for being too fat. It’s what Jesus would do. [Dlisted]

- There Are Sexy Chivers Among Us [theCHIVE]

- Mila Kunis is about to drop a douche-baby any second now. [Fishwrapper]

- Veronica Chaos having sex with a ventriloquist’s dummy is why there’s an Internet. [WWTDD]

- Does “toast” mean “destroyer of server space thanks to Brazilian fat injections?” [The Frisky]

- Goddamn, Nicole Scherzinger… [Popoholic]

- Chris Brown and Drake‘s love finally cut out the middle-Rihanna. [Starpulse]

- “Channing Tatum shaved his head OMGs!” – Your noonerhole [tooFab]

- Jessica Simpson was hungover at her wedding. Of course. [IDLYITW]

- Xenia Deli in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- The Sexiest Social Media Pics of The Week [Celebslam]

- Karolina Kurkova is topless. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News

Kim Kardashian’s Marriage Is Already Falling Apart

July 11th, 2014 // 48 Comments
Yo Stop Raping Me!
Kanye West
Kanye Pulled A Kristen Stewart (No Vagina Licking) Read More »

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have only been married 46 days and already he hates being in the same room with her. In fact, they’ve only spent nine days together since their honeymoon where shit immediately began falling apart. Radar reports:

“Kim complained and sulked the entire time they were in Ireland on their honeymoon,” an insider revealed. “She didn’t like the cooler damp climate, and the lack of high-end designer stores. Kanye tried to arrange tours of local museums, but she wanted nothing to do with it. Only Kim would go to Ireland and be bored, and go to two separate movies in the same day in a foreign country!”

Eventually they bailed on Ireland after Kim talked Kanye into taking her to Joe Francis‘ mansion in Mexico where she spent their now second honeymoon posing for wet T-shirt pics to sell to very same people who rape her husband, so really it’s a miracle these two aren’t destined for a lifetime together: More »