Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn? Jared Leto’s The Joker? WTF’s Happening?

November 10th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Previously In Dc Movies
Jena Malone Red Hair
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Over the weekend, news broke that Jared Leto is in talks to play The Joker in Suicide Squad because Warner Bros. is clearly in the business of going, “You already did what on Arrow? Fuck you.” (See, also: Ezra Miller, The Flash) And now Collider is reporting that the insanely hot Margot Robbie is Harley Quinn, so this is an exciting time for DC Comic fans who are tired of seeing Marvel steamroll over them with incredible blockbuster after incredible blockbuster because now they’ve got a Joker with a giant Praetorian Guard penis. This is where it all changes. Or gets very awkward to let children watch.

“Daddy, why’s that lady using the clown-man’s pee-pee for a hammer?”
“Uhh… Let’s go watch the raccoon shoot people.”

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Photo: Warner Bros.

Good Morning, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Other News

November 10th, 2014 // 12 Comments

- Charlie Hunnam‘s odds for being PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. [Lainey Gossip]

- Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs were seen in public. I’m so sorry, people still into Twilight. [Dlisted]

- Megan Fox in lingerie covered with blood, anyone? [Fishwrapper]

- Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE]

- Cara Delevingne‘s dating a dude now. [The Frisky]

- Sara Malakul Lane is topless. [WWTDD]

- George Takei endorsed Hilary Clinton already, so that locks down the meme vote. [Death and Taxes]

- Jessica Alba is cleavagey. [Popoholic]

- Jessica Lowndes: Her 21 Sexiest Photos For Her 25th Birthday [COED]

- Kat Torres is in a bikini again. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Your Hpynotic Ass GIF of the Day [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- Pregnant Hayden Panettiere bikini something lesbian porn. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Heidi Montag: ‘Amanda Bynes Can Live With Me!’

November 7th, 2014 // 25 Comments

After TMZ posted photos of Amanda Bynes sleeping inside a mall because she’s essentially homeless now, Heidi Montag has graciously shoved her breasts into the press again and offered Amanda a place to stay. But if Heidi somehow thinks that’s going to make the Internet start posting photos of her giant fake breasts again, she’s surprisingly way smarter than I thought she was because I couldn’t put these up fast enough. Are people getting brain implants now? Is that a thing? I’m not going to be able to sleep until I figure this out.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

Rachel Bilson And That Douchebag Named Their Kid Briar Rose

November 7th, 2014 // 16 Comments
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Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen named their newborn daughter Briar Rose, but I’m still not sold on Hayden being the real father. I don’t remember anything about how whining into the uterus fertilizes the egg from that Miracle of Life video we watched in 7th grade. But I am now remembering the first time I put my hand down a girl’s pants and I freaked out because I thought it was going to be mauled by a buffalo. And now I’m remembering years of therapy. And now I’m remembering that alcohol was the only way to really forget. And now I’m remembering a friend saying “Hey, you wanna make some money on the Internet?”

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

Sasquatch Butt In The Morning And Other News

November 7th, 2014 // 54 Comments

- Selena Gomez made a music video about Justin Bieber. Goddammit. [Lainey Gossip]

- Let the Cumberbaby rumors begin. [Dlisted]

- Eminem looks like this now. [Fishwrapper]

- Actual Statements Written In Patients’ Hospital Charts [theCHIVE]

- There’s a #ReaderGate now. [The Frisky]

- Genevieve Morton‘s in a bikini. [WWTDD]

- Apparently you can’t call 911 dispatchers and ask them out on dates now. Thanks, Obama. [Death and Taxes]

- What’s up, Lais Navarro? [Popoholic]

- Keira Knightley is topless. [IDLYITW]

- Ireland Baldwin is still the hottest spawn, but Hailey‘s a close second. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Paris Hilton has sold $2 billion worth of perfume. Your God is dead. [Celebslam]

- Eva Green is the 2015 Campari calendar. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Ariana Grande Made A New Video

November 6th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Ariana Grande performed at the CMA‘s last night, but I refuse to write about that on principle, so here’s her new video for “Love Me Harder” because like I said underneath Margot Robbie‘s nipples, I’m trying to make this a happy day for everybody. In this case, dudes who like 21-year-old girls that look like they’re 12. I don’t condone your lifestlye, but dammit if I won’t squeeze a bunch of pageviews out of you before forwarding your IP address to Chris Hansen. (He’s already in your pantry. It’s too late for you now.)

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Margot Robbie’s Nipples Will Lead Us Into The Light

November 6th, 2014 // 16 Comments
Previously In Nipples
Chelsea Handler Topless Nipples Putin
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So the past two weeks have been a soulcrushing smorgasbord of child molesters and the sloth-people who let them near their kids, and pretentious hipsters who think writing about their little sister’s vagina is totes edgy, all capped off by me staring deep into a bottomless abyss of dumb that 100% believes that even a basic college education is a brainwashing indoctrination into Communism. And these people fucking vote. But today’s a new day, and with that day comes Margot Robbie’s nipples and not a single post about Mama June, Lena Dunham or politics [because I'm all out of liquor]. There’s even a Bertney Story coming up because in the words of Aaron Eckhart‘s chin, “The night is darkest just before the nipple. And that’s how we’ll catch The Joker. With a nipple.”

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Photo: Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Good Morning, Lisa Opie, And Other News

November 6th, 2014 // 15 Comments

- Marc Anthony got engaged to his model girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip]

- I honestly forgot Shauna Sand was still out there. [Dlisted]

- Kirk Cameron took his daughters to Jessa Duggar‘s wedding so they could basically learn that kissing before marriage is for sluts. Yup. [Fishwrapper]

- Presenting The Internet’s Cleavage Hall of Fame [theCHIVE]

- Jon Hamm can be obsessed with cats because he has a giant penis. [The Frisky]

- Irina Shayk in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- The struggle for McMuffins is real. [Death and Taxes]

- Stacy Keibler looks great with breasts. [Popoholic]

- Good God, Lily Aldridge… [Hollywood Tuna]

- Emma Stone‘s wearing more for Cabaret again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News