Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Kendra’s Breasts Aren’t Wearing A Wedding Ring

July 2nd, 2014 // 18 Comments
Kendra's Moving Out
Kendra Wilkinson Bikini
Beats Growing
A Penis Read More »

Yesterday, because we’re in the middle of the whiz-bang, non-stop action vortex of the days before a holiday weekend, I posted about Kendra Wilkinson flushing her wedding ring down the toilet because it was given to her by a man who swore solemn vows of faithfulness only to turn around and give a transsexual $500 in exchange for mutual handjobs. It was a taut thriller as much as it was a childhood limerick. And now here she is in public without said ring even though just 30 seconds of conversations with Kendra would make “maybe she swallowed it” the most likely scenario. Regardless, there are at least five other more important things my trained eye noticed in these photographs: More »

Beyonce’s Changing Song Lyrics To Make It Sound Like Jay Z Cheated On Her Now

July 2nd, 2014 // 11 Comments
Beyonce Faces Are Back
Beyonce Butt Jay Z On The Run Tour Opening Night
Her Publicist Should Love These Read More »

It sounds like Beyonce could really use that yoga weekend with Gwyneth Paltrow – I’m joking. That’s Nazi shit. – because apparently she’s changing song lyrics to make it sound like Jay Z definitely cheated on her. And did I mention she’s doing this while she’s on tour with him? She’s doing this while she’s on tour with him. Via Jezebel:

The original lyrics are, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could/Been ridin’ with you for six years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.”
The lyrics she performed are — with changes in bold, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack bitch could/Been ridin’ with you for twelve years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.”

When reached for comment, Jay Z said, “Lyrics? Shit, man, I just stare at her ass when I’m up there. She been saying words all them times? Damn. That’s the strangest thing any mothafucka’s ever told me. Bitch’s song got words. Like real ones? In English? Damn…”

Photos: Getty

Kendall Jenner & Hailey Baldwin Are In Bikinis

July 2nd, 2014 // 21 Comments

Here’s Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin (Who spent an unusual amount of time staring at and photographing Kendall’s butt. Her father should pray for her.) paddleboarding in The Hamptons yesterday where they were somehow spotted and identified by the paparazzi from 8,000 yards away. Which almost makes you think they were tipped off, but who’d be dead enough inside to say, “Hey, you busy? Why don’t you drive two hours from the city and take pictures of my kid’s 18-year-old ass and her underage friend.” I don’t even think Satan would do that, and his daughter’s hot. — Get it? Hot? Hell? I’ll be in the garage with the car running.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

Lindsay Lohan Made It To 28

July 2nd, 2014 // 16 Comments
This Shouldn't Take Forever
Lindsay Lohan Topless Canyons
Lindsay Wants To Laser Off Her Freckles Read More »

This right here. This is what I’m talking about. No one could survive that.

Because God looked down upon the cockroach and said, “Lo, shall you persevere against insurmountable odds and spread blowjays across the earth for all eternity as penance for your bespeckled form which is a blight upon my eyes,” Lindsay Lohan turned 28 today officially making her ineligible for The 27 Club even though that’s predominantly reserved for musicians and people with talent, so I never really got that joke. Anyway, while I’ve been repeatedly frustrated by her penchant for survival as others pass on, I should probably take comfort in knowing I’ll still have a job after some religion bombs us all to shit trying to destroy another one. The posts will practically write themselves. “So you’ll never guess who was late to the decontamination dome today. I’ll give you a hint: She has three legs and blows mutated snails for yellow-coke because it’s the good kind with the uranium in it.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN

Good Evening, Michelle Hunziker, And Other News

July 1st, 2014 // 4 Comments

[Ed. Note: A third of you will start tapping out by tomorrow afternoon, so I'mma put this up tonight. - SW]

- Jennifer Lopez‘s new album isn’t doing well. I blame Casper Smart. [Lainey Gossip]

- The rapper who cut his dick off wants to do porn now. America, ain’t it grand? [Dlisted]

- Nothing Beats A Woman’s POV [theCHIVE]

- Adam Richman just douched his way out of a job. [Fishwrapper]

- People fucking hate the Cheerleader Game Hunter or whatever she’s called. [The Frisky]

- Megan Fox poses for Cosmo. [Popoholic]

- Hot Babe of the Day: Pia Toscano [Starpulse]

- Horrible Bosses 2 has a trailer. [tooFab]

- Hel-the-fuck-lo, Holland Roden. [IDLYITW]

- Kimberley Garner‘s side-boob > Kim Kardashian‘s side-boob. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Jill Martin‘s in a bikini again. [Celebslam]

- Jesus Christ, Genevieve Morton. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Kim Kardashian Can Really Open Her Mouth Wide For Some Reason

July 1st, 2014 // 31 Comments
Hey, Remember Rob?
Rob Kardashian Fat
He's Dead Now. He Died. Read More »

I’m going to shoot it to you straight, folks. We’re barreling toward a holiday weekend, so there is next to jackshit happening which is why you’re looking at Kim Kardashian stuffing her face which used to be something the paparazzi would’ve never dreamed of doing because they hate physical comedy, but this is at least the second time in under a week which means her empire is crumbling beneath her hooves. More importantly, side-boob, holy cow! It’s like a boob – but from the side! Everybody click on it, so it looks like I didn’t write this from a hammock. (You swore an oath.)

Photos: Splash News

Kendra Wilkinson’s Moving Out

July 1st, 2014 // 24 Comments
Hank Knew She's A He
Ava Sabrina London Hank Baskett Mistress
And Made With The Handjobs Read More »

Considering her husband hasn’t issued any sort of denial whatsoever about his alleged affair with transsexual model Ava Sabrina London, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that moving trucks were outside Kendra Wilkinson‘s house, and she supposedly flushed her wedding ring down the toilet, according to Us Weekly:

Once Wilkinson discovered an unexplained—and damning—charge on his credit card, she “flipped out,” the source says. In a rage, she punched walls in their Calabasas, Calif. home, threw their 2009 wedding photos into the pool, and even pulled off her wedding ring, flushing it down the toilet, the source says.

Considering Hank’s already dropping $500 for just a handjob, it probably would’ve been a good idea to hold onto that ring for the day he can’t make child support because he’s spending $80,000 on anal. Granted, I’m not a financial advisor, I do have a rudimentary understanding of basic butt math. For example, if X equals the male penis, and Y equals some sort of hole, then X + Y = Ah, shit I’m broke. A child could do it.

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN