Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

There’s The Snappening Now

October 13th, 2014 // 16 Comments

After The Fappening realized it was leaking pictures of Nick Hogan and shot itself in the face (It’s a working theory.), the time was right for The Snappening, a new hack of SnapChat resulting in over 90,000 photos leaked online yesterday. Except one small problem, besides being illegal as fuck, SnapChat is widely used by kids between the ages of 13 and 17. Whoops. Via The Daily Beast:

This whole episode is of particular worry to Snapchat users since the photo and video messaging service’s claim to fame is that the sent file self-destructs after viewing—not in the Mission: Impossible sense, but that it disappears from one’s mobile device and is scrubbed from Snapchat’s company servers. Because of its “self-destruct” reputation, the app is a popular tool among youngsters for transmitting sexually explicit material. Snapchat claims that 50 percent of its users are between 13-17 years of age, this potentially brings “The Snappening” into child pornography territory.

In SnapChat’s defense, the whole issue allegedly springs from a third-party app called SnapSaved.com which allowed users to store photos and videos that should’ve been “self-destructed,” according to Business Insider. As for which celebrities were hacked, I honestly have no clue, so I just used Vanessa Hudgens pics because there are always Vanessa Hudgens pics. You could hack a toaster, and her vagina pics would be inside. Spread eagle shots are but the canvas upon which she shares her art.

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

Kat Dennings’ Breasts Are Dating Josh Groban

October 13th, 2014 // 29 Comments

Josh Groban‘s voice has the gift to unlock powerful emotions that you never thought you were capable of experiencing. Kat Dennings’ breasts do exactly the same thing only on a much deeper spiritual level that’s capable of bathing all of humanity in a warm golden light while ushering in a new age of peace and prosperity, so let’s be honest, what’s he bringing to the table here? Besides talent, boyishly good looks, money, and by most accounts, a charming personality. Ignore all that for a second.

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Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Taylor Swift’s Cat Is Hitler And Everyone Hates It

October 13th, 2014 // 32 Comments

During a recent appearance on The Graham Norton Show, John Cleese asked Taylor Swift right to her face if her cat was in an accident because it looked “damaged.” And I’ll be the first to say, who could ever possibly give a shit? Except this is the Internet, and the Internet is 90% cat photos and porn, so naturally the whole thing lit up with, “LOLOLOLOLOL what a stupid cat” because apparently our greatest first world problem is having to look at Taylor Swift’s deformed cat. Unless, wait a minute, is it hurting her legs? Is that furry retard fucking up her legs?! I’LL THROW IT OFF A BRIDGE! *rummages for burlap sack*

John Cleese Insults Taylor Swift’s Cat After The Jump

Heath Ledger’s Joker In A Bikini And Other News

October 13th, 2014 // 18 Comments

- Some Benedict Cumberbatch suit porn? [Lainey Gossip]

- Cameron Diaz might be engaged to Benji Madden. [Dlisted]

- Bad Girls Bend And Snap [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham‘s in a non-pornographic film? That can’t be right. [Fishwrapper]

- The Dumbest Things Steve Harvey Ever Said About Love And Vaginas [The Frisky]

- The girls of Fifth Harmony are in bikinis. [WWTDD]

- PSA: Not knowing who a celebrity is does not make you an intellectual. [Death and Taxes]

- This is a 12-year-old girl. Call her Ariana Grande, or whatever you want, she’s 12. [Popoholic]

- Does Sasquatch want Kim’s old job? What the hell’s happening here? [tooFab]

- Katy Perry is probably your Super Bowl halftime show. [IDLYITW]

- Sofia Vergara‘s in good shape. [Hollywood Tuna]

- What the hell is Christina Hendricks wearing? [Celebslam]

- Scarlett Johansson apparently has a better ass after giving birth. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- And I start using Tumblr again if anyone gives a shit. [Yeah But Dinosaurs]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Obama To Get Up In That

October 10th, 2014 // 46 Comments
You're Her Competition?
Gwyneth Paltrow
Bitch, Martha Stewart Owns A Drone Read More »

Chris Martin has a super-cool new girlfriend, so it behooves Gwyneth Paltrow to one-up him because conscious uncoupling is some hardcore shit. Which brings us to the President of the United States who, granted, is married, but if there’s one thing Gwyneth has taught us it’s that you can cut monogamy out just like gluten. Us Weekly reports:

She went on to talk about the importance of sustainable energy sources, and to praise Obama’s support for equal pay which Paltrow (who Forbes estimates earns an amazing $19 million a year) said was, “very important to me as a working mother.”
Then, overcome with nerves, the actress stumbled a little before passing the microphone off to the President, telling him flirtatiously, “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.”

Forget the Obama shit. (Unless you’re Michelle, in which case, join forces with Martha Stewart. No mercy, no surrender.) Did Gwyneth Paltrow just call herself a “working mother” again? Goddammit. YOU’RE NOT HELPING. It’s one thing to say as a woman, or a considerate human being in general, that you’d like to see women receive equal pay. But when you go, “Well, as a working mother…” as a team of nannies watches your children in one of your several houses on different continents, it becomes way too easy to dismiss a legitimate topic because now it’s about Gwyneth Paltrow. And if there’s one thing people hate, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow. If given a choice between Gwyneth Paltrow or Ebola, they’d take their chances with Ebola. Provided they’re white.

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Photos: FameFlynet

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

October 10th, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Robert Downey Jr. misses Sarah Jessica Parker, is clearly addicted to horse-racing. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Gosling‘s child bears a name. [Dlisted]

- It’s A Talent Just Breathing In These Dresses [theCHIVE]

- Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be besties with Jennifer Lawrence now. [Fishwrapper]

- Red Bull didn’t literally give people wings, so it lost a $13 million lawsuit. Yup. [The Frisky]

- Mayhem Miller live-tweeted his police standoff. [WWTDD]

- Dwarf strippers are knocking up brides at bachelorette parties. There’s hope for the future. [Death and Taxes]

- Hel-the-fuck-lo, Yara Khmidan. [Popoholic]

- Anne Hathaway posing “topless.” [tooFab]

- More Helen Flanagan Amazingness [Hollywood Tuna]

- Sara Malakul is naked. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Shonda Rhimes Doesn’t Put Up With ‘Heigls’

October 9th, 2014 // 18 Comments
She Can't Hurt You Now
Katherine Heigl Resting Bitchface NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
Ask Her How Difficult She Is Read More »

In case you’re not sure how deeply and openly Hollywood hates Katherine Heigl, or simply enjoy a reminder to lift your spirits like I do, here’s Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes telling The Hollywood Reporter the lessons she’s learned from working on Grey’s Anatomy:

By all accounts, Rhimes runs a tighter ship today.
Although her perfectionist tendencies coupled with Scandal‘s breakneck story pace can wreak havoc on deadlines — “We’re always behind,” she admits — the operation runs smoothly and the cast is tight-knit. “There are no Heigls in this situation,” she says, choosing her words carefully. She adds later of her “no assholes” policy: “I don’t put up with bullshit or nasty people. I don’t have time for it.”

I’ve honestly never watched a single episode of Shonda Rhimes shows because they don’t have superheroes in them going PEW PEW PEW, but after today, I promise to put at least one of them in my Netflix queue and think about watching it one day. That’s literally my highest honor, and I don’t just hand it out lightly. *looks at queue, notices Once Upon A Time* Or I do all the time because I’m a whore. Abandon post!

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Photo: Getty

Amanda Bynes Caught Shoplifiting Twice In One Day

October 9th, 2014 // 21 Comments
Nothing Alarming Here
Amanda Bynes Possible Engagement Ring
'There's A Microchip In My Head' Read More »

So the first time Amanda Bynes was caught shoplifting yesterday, it could’ve been an honest mistake because she’s crazy and easily distracted. Except not even a few hours later, she got caught again only this time because she doesn’t think she has to pay for goods and services which also checks out because have I mentioned crazy? TMZ reports:

According to our sources, employees at Pookie & Sebastian began following Bynes around the store because she was acting suspicious. We’re told they didn’t recognize it was Amanda, and just thought she was a “half-naked, homeless crackhead.”
Customers tell us Bynes was dancing and muttering about plastic surgery — but eventually she tried to bolt with a shirt stuffed between her arms. When an employee stopped her and asked if she was going to pay, Amanda said … “Do I really have to buy this?”
The answer, of course, was yes — and we’re told Bynes was actually cooperative … whipping out a credit card to cover the $128.

And, so, with a full day’s shopping under her belt, Amanda Bynes retired to Twitter for a quiet evening of threatening to sue magazines for printing the words she’s said to them. Unless, of course, they agree to run her wedding photos when she marries some 19-year-old kid she met at a bait shop. She’ll start the bidding at one government microchip remover. More »