Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Selena Gomez Has Breasts And Other News

August 25th, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Benedict Cumberbatch did the Ice Bucket Challenge naked. Go to him, Cumberbitches! [Lainey Gossip]

- Floyd Mayweather responded to 50 Cent with $72 million. [Dlisted]

- If you manage to scroll past the first pic, you’re goddamn Superman. [theCHIVE]

- The creepiest Wilmer Valderrama pic you’ll ever see in your life. [Fishwrapper]

- Jennifer Lopez will get married for a fourth time, but doesn’t “whore around.” Whatever you say. [The Frisky]

- There’s a second Human Barbie now. Of course. [WWTDD]

- Vanessa Hudgens in booty shorts. [Popoholic]

- Jesus Christ, Lucy Hale in Cosmo. [Starpulse]

- Ireland Baldwin brought Angel Haze to the VMAs. [tooFab]

- V. Stiviano says Donald Sterling is gay. Why not? [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Colleen Shannon? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kate Upton‘s breasts made $7 million last year. [Celebslam]

- Except we all should pay more attention to Genevieve Morton. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet

BREAKING: Ryan Seacrest Got Drunk Enough To Touch A Vagina

August 22nd, 2014 // 8 Comments

“You! Yeah… you, right there. Black dress, stupid strap thingy. You get Cowell on the line and you tell that bastard a bet’s a FUCKING bet. He didn’t think I could do it, well, you tell him I fucking did it. I fucking did it all by myself with my hands on the slimy thing and he fucking owes me one hundred fucking MILLION dollars. Or.. or.. c’mere. I wanna whisper in your fucking ear: A hairy motorboat between those giant man-tits. Emphasize that last part. Wink!” *pukes in champagne bucket*

Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI

And Now Time For Tara Reid Or Kate Gosselin Melting Under A Heat Lamp?

August 22nd, 2014 // 12 Comments

Now I know what you’re thinking, there aren’t 25 Asian kids running around, so clearly it’s Tara Reid. Except you’re forgetting one important piece of information: Kate Gosselin hates her children and will do everything in her power to never be around them. Why do you think her house is 80% crawlspaces? The woman’s a calculated and meticulous planner. Anyway, happy guessing, super sleuths.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

That’s Ashley Benson’s Naked Butt (Or Not)

August 22nd, 2014 // 9 Comments

We’ve already seen Ashley Benson topless, so here she is running around naked with Troian Bellisario in a new Instagram photo because apparently she doesn’t know people are suing over uncensored butthole these days. Or does that only count if there’s gaping birth canal? I tried to ask our lawyer, but he was too busy giving Chris Hansen directions to my hou- wait.

UPDATE: Apparently Ashley Benson took this pic from Pinterest because here’s her real butt: More »

Mariah Carey Shut Nick Cannon The Hell Up

August 22nd, 2014 // 17 Comments

Yesterday, Nick Cannon confirmed to The Insider that he and Mariah Carey have been living in separate houses for months because this guy will tell anybody fucking anything. Which is why Mariah slapped him with a gag order, so this is all going well. TMZ reports:

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ … Nick and Mariah’s lawyers hashed out a confidentiality agreement as part of their divorce … and it’s completely one-sided.
Nick is barred from saying anything about the split. If he does, there are severe financial penalties. But Mariah has the right under the agreement to announce the split on her terms.

And those terms are a Craigslist ad for a new butler who hasn’t had sex with Kim Kardashian which will probably violate a few equal opportunity laws. You can’t just come right out and say, “Oh, hey, by the way, no black guys.” It’s a different world now.

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Good Morning, Ola Jordan, And Other News

August 22nd, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Chris Pratt has reached Christian Bale-ian levels of awesome. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brooke Mueller made her assistant be a drug mule? That sounds exactly right. [Dlisted]

- Let’s Put Some Asian In The Equation [theCHIVE]

- LeAnn Rimes could be pregnant any second now. [Fishwrapper]

- Christian country music wants you to clean up after your man who’s basically a toddler. [The Frisky]

- Chelsea Handler‘s not bringing Chuy to Netflix. Has he tried sleeping with a powerful executive? [WWTDD]

- Jessica Hart does GQ. [Popoholic]

- Miley Cyrus is attending the VMAs, not performing, so you’ll still see her vagina. [Starpulse]

- Justin Bieber shaved his little pube mustache. [tooFab]

- Kristen Stewart did the Ice Bucket Challenge wrong. [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Erin Heatherton? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Cara Santana wears the hell out of a sports bra. [Celebslam]

- Mother of fucking God, Genevieve Morton basically topless. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Michelle Rodriguez & Zac Efron Broke Up

August 21st, 2014 // 15 Comments

And just as soon as it began, Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron‘s relationship is already over, so assume the whole thing went exactly like this: “Oh. Sniff. Hey. Sniff. Oh. You like coke? Sniff. Yeah. Cool. Sniff. Oh, shit, we’re fucking? Uh uh uh. Sniff. Yeah! Sniff. Backflips, yeah, backflips! Let’s do ‘em! WHOO! Sniff. Fuck. I gotta get back – sniff – and movie. Sniff. Hey, weren’t you that chick in Lost? Sniff. Hey. Alright. Sniff. Shit. Bye.”

(That literally works with either one of them saying it. I know. That’s the beauty of it.)

Photo: CIAO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

Gwyneth Paltrow Did The Ice Bucket Challenge In A Bikini, Nominates Chris Martin

August 21st, 2014 // 25 Comments
Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Ice Challenge

With the exception of Katy Perry, and probably a few others I’m too lazy to Google, most celebrities recognize this is for charity and have been keeping their Ice Bucket Challenges relatively tame which is probably why I hate them so much. Except here’s Gwyneth Paltrow doing hers in a bikini because she has the ass of a 22-year-old stripper, you guys. What is she supposed to do? Wear pants? On top of that, she nominated Chris Martin because their conscious uncoupling is such a super friendly and chill separation unlike, eww, divorce, that she’s totally at peace with him nailing Jennifer Lawrence in a vineyard as we speak. And she’ll be even more at peace as soon he dumps a bucket of ice water on his dick. Chop chop. People are dying.

Gwyneth Paltrow Does Ice Bucket Challenge In A Bikini After The Jump