Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley In A Bikini And Other News

November 17th, 2014 // 9 Comments

- Fifty Shades of Grey has a new trailer. Where’s the pube-pulling?! [Lainey Gossip]

- It’s the vagina cake from Snooki‘s baby shower. You read that right. [Fishwrapper]

- Evan Rachel Wood is done being a lesbian already. [Dlisted]

- If You Like Tattoos Get In Here [theCHIVE]

- Charlie Hunnam in Men’s Health is the man-candy you requested. [The Frisky]

- Claudia Romani‘s ass went snorkeling. [WWTDD]

- Reminder: Men’s rights advocates are clown shoes. [Death and Taxes]

- Kristen Stewart is leggy. [Popoholic]

- Usher has a sex tape. [IDLYITW]

- Kelly Brook’s 2015 Lingerie Calendar Extras [Hollywood Tuna]

- Goddamn, Emily Sears… [Celebslam]

- Sara Malakul Lane‘s giant breasts will teach you how to selfie. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Science Beat Kim Kardashian’s Ass

November 14th, 2014 // 47 Comments
It's Kim's Naked Vagina Now
Kim Kardashian Vagina Topless Naked FUPA
Hot Dog!
(Down A Hallway) Read More »

On Wednesday, Kim Kardashian’s naked ass and vulva seemed to have consumed everything in its path. I hate to admit this, but I literally had no clue the Philae lander landed on a comet, that’s how far my head was up her butt. Did you see how oily it was? A bus could’ve slid right in. And who’s to say one didn’t? Except there’s good news for humanity because, according to the Wall Street Journal, the amount of tweets for the comet landing slapped the shit out of Kim’s ass:

Yesterday, scientists made history by landing a spacecraft on a comet for the first time. Back on Earth, Kim Kardashian and Paper Magazine attempted to make history of their own and “break the Internet” with photos of Kim K. posing naked on the cover.
So how did interest levels in Kim Kardashian compare with the scientific milestone on Twitter? Neither actually broke the Internet – or at least Twitter – but turns out the comet landing was more popular.

Let me just stress how remarkable this is: Nudity lost to science on the Internet. That literally never happens. Kim Kardashian went full frontal (NSFW), yet more people were interested in a 12-year-old space program that dropped a robot on a moving comet. Of course, there’s always the chance that the Philae actually landed on Kim’s ass which is entirely possible because it does seems to be sending back photos of craters and deep crevasses. Get me a reading on those surface oil levels. It’s the only way to know for sure. Kirk out.

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Photos: AKM-GSI, INFphoto, Splash News

Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

November 14th, 2014 // 10 Comments
Kate Upton Breasts Game of War
WATCH: Kate Upton - 'Game of War' Trailer

Last week’s South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton‘s bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I’m probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it’s attached to. Think of it like Superman and Lex Luthor except Lex Luthor can control Superman’s every thought and action and convince him condoms are made of Kryptonite. (I call my penis Lex Luthor. Is that weird?)

Adding… Emily Ratajkowski scored Call of Duty. Is Kate Upton going to take that lying down? *grabs popcorn*

Michelle Lewin Has A Butt, Too, And Other News

November 14th, 2014 // 19 Comments

- Mila Kunis does not have post-partum depression. Don’t be assholes. [Lainey Gossip]

- Why does Jennifer Aniston have one satin-wrapped tit out? [Dlisted]

- Congratulations, Kylie Jenner, you look like the oldest Kardashian now. [Fishwrapper]

- Kim Kardashian‘s ass is a Keurig now. [theCHIVE]

- Taylor Swift took Amanda Seyfried to her first basketball game. She was not a fan. [The Frisky]

- Emily Ratajkowski‘s in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- Chrissy Teigen‘s underboob that I forgot to post. [The Superficial]

- Apparently Chelsea Handler draws the line at showing vaj. [Death and Taxes]

- Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio are still hot as hell. [Popoholic]

- What’s up, Stella Maxwell? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Nicole Trunfio only whips her boob out under chandeliers. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Jennifer Lawrence Can’t Take More Naked Pictures If You Kill Her, People

November 13th, 2014 // 9 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Lawrence outside The Late Show with David Letterman where later that night, she’d walk over to sign some fan’s autographs only to have them kick down a metal barrier, sending her fleeing to her car. And if you think I’m going to try and pin this on the fuckers at 4chan who hacked her Wikipedia page after she called The Fappening a sex crime, don’t be ridiculous. This shit required physical activity, direct human contact, and exposure to outdoor elements. Big Bird’s a more likely suspect. — And lives in New York. Hear me out…

Jennifer Lawrence Runs From Fans Outside Letterman After The Jump

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Wants To Crowdfund A Booty Onto Taylor Swift

November 13th, 2014 // 57 Comments

Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday’s 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here’s Katy Perry‘s boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift‘s butt should be:

As for why Diplo would do something like this, Katy Perry has big breasts and hates Taylor Swift, so it’s a miracle he didn’t murder her like a good boyfriend would’ve by now. (Call me.) In the meantime, Lorde has apparently come to Taylor’s defense with a comeback the Internet can’t trip over itself fast enough to praise: More »