Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Natalie Burn, And Other News

September 11th, 2014 // 7 Comments

- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are being spotted in public. This shit’s happening. [Lainey Gossip]

- Since everyone enjoyed Jared Leto‘s dick so much, here’s Zac Efron‘s hairy nipples. [Dlisted]

- Redheads Are Masters of The Seductive Arts [theCHIVE]

- Melissa Rivers tells jokes, too. I had no idea. [Fishwrapper]

- But will Leighton Meester make butt videos? That’s the real question. [The Frisky]

- Kris Jenner is gender shaming Bruce Jenner‘s gender Jenner gender. [WWTDD]

- Anastasia Ashley does Maxim. Hell yes. [Popoholic]

- Dammit, Jaws died. The Bond villain, not the shark. [Starpulse]

- Sasquatch apparently raised Kendall and Kylie. This is all making sense. [tooFab]

- Nina Agdal in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Rumer Willis‘ ass cheek, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI

Miley Cyrus And The Art of Pineapple Semen

September 10th, 2014 // 23 Comments

Miley Cyrus‘ “Dirty Hippie” art show opens today, and if you have no idea what that is, congratulations, you only looked at her naked boobs in V Magazine without reading any of the words. We’re kin. Except if you do read the words like I only just now did, you’ll find out that Miley Cyrus gets high all the time and glues a bunch of random shit to other random shit which apparently makes her an artist and more than just a pop star now. Somewhere, your eighth grade teacher just shot herself. Or masturbated with a clay pot. I honestly don’t know what those people do: More »

Why Y’All Booing Justin #BBare? Dat’s Racism!

September 10th, 2014 // 44 Comments

Lemme get this all straight: Jennifer Lopez can flash her granny ass all over da stage, but da second my sexy, young boy #BBare gives y’all some dark sexual chocolate, mothafuckas be booing his ass? Dat’s some Rodney King shit right here. Next you gonna tell me my boy can’t drink from da same water fountain as you? Ride da same bus? Show white bitches his Spongebob underwear? That’s how this shit starts, son. It’s the same reason why there’s a liquor store on almost every corner of Canada. Why? They want #BBare to kill hisself.

Justin Bieber Gets Booed At Fashion Rocks After The Jump

You Kids Want Ass? Jennifer Lopez Will Give You Ass

September 10th, 2014 // 38 Comments

With Nicki Minaj cornering the ass market, it’s important to remember that it was Jennifer Lopez, not Kim Kardashian (What’s wrong with you?), who brought giant butts into the mainstream. So here she is performing at Fashion Rocks last night while flashing her 45-year-old ass or be forever banished into the wilderness in this post-Miley Cyrus Thunderdome we now live in. — I’m joking! There’s always dictators to perform for. Tons and tons of dictators. More importantly, I want to know what this guy’s job is. What’s his specific stage instructions? “Okay, beat, beat, beat, and sniffing the butt. You’re sniffing the butt. Sniff that shit like a fucking flower annnnd… jazz hands!” How do I gear my LinkedIn towards that? How do I make that happen?

Photos: Getty

Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay Secret

September 10th, 2014 // 23 Comments

Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay A Secret
A Learning Story For Junior Secret Keepers

A long time ago Bertney got to be in a real, live movie. She doesn’t remember much about it, and has never seen it on account of it not being cartoons, but she does remember a table full of lots and lots of goodies that Papa let her eat if she said her lines right. It was like being in a play everyday!
And, so, while Papa reminded Bertney about her movie, he told her some very exciting news: One of her co-stars was coming to visit!
“A co-star?” Bertney asked Papa, “Like them things you put drinks on that I always think are cookies?”
“Haha, no,” Papa said. “A co-star is like a friend who helps you make a movie.”
“A friend!” Bertney squealed. “Oh boy!” Now she was really excited. Maybe they’d play Barbie dolls together or eat great big bowls of ice creams until their bellies hurt. Bertney loved ice cream. More »

Good God, Raquel Rischard, And Other News

September 10th, 2014 // 9 Comments

Posted By Photo Boy

- Reese Witherspoon is a heroin-addict hiker in Wild. But what about the baby?! [Lainey Gossip]

- Hey, remember Jared Leto‘s gladiator helmet dick? That was only the beginning. [Dlisted]

- Cameras Are A Girl’s (Boobs’) Best Friend [theCHIVE]

- Kris Jenner in a bikini, because Satan needs your eyes for some reason. [Fishwrapper]

- Ranking Jax Teller’s Hair’s Fuckability [The Frisky]

- Rick Santorum wants to ban secularism from schools now. [Death and Taxes]

- Is Paris Jackson pregnant or just 16 years old and shirtless? Discuss. [WWTDD]

- Jesus Christ, Nina Agdal lingerie photos. [Popoholic]

- The thought of pulling your mom’s pubes gave Charlie Hunnam a nervous breakdown. [Starpulse]

- Channing Tatum is terrified of porcelain dolls. [tooFab]

- Here’s a picture moment for Christine. Her boobs deserve it. [Hollywood Tuna]

- And here’s Charlotte Carey naked for something. It doesn’t matter. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Ray Rice Is In ‘Good Spirits,’ Everybody

September 9th, 2014 // 26 Comments

Lost in the media’s zeal to destroy Janay Rice‘s life (Alright, who told her?) by holding the NFL accountable for treating domestic violence with a brief “time out,” are the feelings of Ray Rice. Has anyone stopped to ask how he’s doing after getting cut from the Ravens because everyone found out how hard he knocked his wife out in an elevator? He’s a human being, too, goddammit. Mediaite reports:

“I have to be strong with my wife. She is so strong. We are in good spirits. We have a lot of people praying for us and we’ll continue to support each other. I have to be there for (Janay) and my family right now and work through this.”

So did anyone else read, “I have to be strong with my wife,” and immediately go, “Oh, shit, not again!” or was it just me? The important thing is instead of getting all depressed over our culture that places entertainment above social responsibility, I decided to end one of those posts on a happy note by adding Kelly Brooks’ tits to it. No foolin’. If you click on Ray Rice’s face, it takes you right to them. ESPN should be probably be taking notes while I rock back forth in the corner and think about what I’ve done. Money, Fish, you need the money. Money makes everything better. Money is Jesus. You’re okay. You’re cool. This is cool. No one’s crying. You’re not crying. Those are not your tears. It’s probably just rain in your basement, or something. You’re tough. You’re swoll.

Photos: Getty / Fame/Flynet, Splash News, Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

Ariana Grande Has Demands

September 9th, 2014 // 57 Comments
Rocket Titties?
Ariana Grande Rocket Titties Break Free Video Screencaps
How Long Has She Had Those? Read More »

Ariana Grande looks like a 12-year-old Jennifer Lopez which is probably why she’s so huge on the Internet right now, but enough about the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Anyway, also like JLo, she now travels with a list of demands that has horribly been leaked because, again, how old is this kid? 13? I’ll not ask about Mariah Carey you! Via News Australia:

All media who were granted an audience with the 21-year-old singer were instructed to steer clear of delicate topics during her promotional visit this week.
DON’T ask questions about:
(1) Relationships/Dating/Ex-boyfriends
(2) Mariah Carey
(3) Sam & Cat/Jennette McCurdy
(4) Working/collaborating with Justin Bieber
(5) Her grandfather passing away
Photographers were also given last-minute instructions from the Problem star’s minders.
*DON’T use natural light.
*DO shoot only from the left side of her face.

And here’s all of that worked out: More »