Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

What Did Lindsay Lohan F*ck Up Now?

August 20th, 2014 // 14 Comments
Oh Yeah, This'll Happen
Lindsay Lohan Bikini
Lindsay Lohan Wants J.K. Rowling To Write Her Memoirs Read More »

Involving Lindsay Lohan in any professional project is, without fail, the fucking stupidest idea any person could ever have, so here she is posing for a selfie with Tina Fey that was splashed all over the Internet yesterday after Lindsay posted it to Instagram. Which, surprise, she wasn’t supposed to do because it’s already been deleted. Vanity Fair reports:

If it hadn’t been for Fey, Lohan might never have ascended to the high highs (and subsequent low lows) that she did; if not for Lohan, Mean Girls could perhaps have been just another well-received-and then-quickly-forgotten teen comedy. There are stories and feuds and tears and laughs all embedded in this selfie.
But, distressingly and confusingly, the selfie has now been deleted without explanation. Did Fey’s team decide they would rather not have her featured on Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram account? Did Lohan accidentally delete the picture?

The photo was apparently taken during a Mean Girls reunion for Entertainment Weekly, so either Lindsay fucked up and screwed EW. Or she fucked up and screwed Tina Fey. Either way, someone learned a valuable lesson in always paying her ransom. Meanwhile, in other areas of her life she’s completely fucking up, Lindsay’s still trying to get her memoirs published, only this time she’s threatened to write them herself and make it a trilogy “like Harry Potter.” As for a working title, allow me to suggest “Are You There, God? I’ll Suck Your Dick For A Dollar.”

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Nicki Minaj’s Butt Made You A Video

August 20th, 2014 // 43 Comments

If yesterday was Breast Day, then today is Nicki Minaj‘s Ass Day because here’s four minutes and 49 seconds of it shaking and rubbing all over shit. (I’d say “twerking,” but that’s Miley Cyrus’ word she stole from black people.) I also had Photo Boy make screencaps for those of you who just want to look at butts on top of butts without hearing Sir Mix-A-Lot being beaten into the ground by said butts. He probably never wants to look at another one again except, whoa, hold up, girl, he didn’t say nothing about dem titties.

Nicki Minaj ‘Anaconda’ After The Jump

Adrianne Curry’s In A Bikini, Too, And Other News

August 20th, 2014 // 16 Comments

- Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart might be back together. He cleans the pool so well! [Lainey Gossip]

- When Lindsay Lohan dies, there’s a backup waiting. [Dlisted]

- The Green Cheeky Bottom Chivette Reveals Herself [theCHIVE]

- The only person getting wet from Vin Diesel naked is Vin Diesel. [Fishwrapper]

- Writers are pulling their shit off Thought Catalog by the droves. [The Frisky]

- Holy hell, Cora Deitz. [WWTDD]

- What’s up, Jenna Dewan? [Popoholic]

- Ant-Man wears a hoodie?! HOLY SHIT. [Starpulse]

- Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul did something together. You click now. [tooFab]

- Jessica Lowndes went to something. It’s not important. [IDLYITW]

- Kaley Cuoco‘s implants look good in a tank top. [Hollywood Tuna]

- How you doing, Yara Khmidan? [Celebslam]

- Xenia Deli‘s in lingerie. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Getty

Katy Perry’s Breasts Went To A Water Park

August 19th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Taylor Swift aside, the past 12 hours have been a pretty amazing time for breasts. So below is Katy Perry at Schlitterbahn Water Park in Kansas which is nowhere near as awesome as the time her ass fell out at Raging Waters, but at the end of the video, the camera practically smacks into one of her giant breasts as it jiggles out of the water, so try and meet me in the middle here. I swear to God you’re as bad your mother sometimes.

Katy Perry Bikini Video and GIFs After The Jump

Good Morning, Paula Labaredas, And Other News

August 19th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Gwyneth Paltrow is handling Chris Martin banging Jennifer Lawrence well. [Lainey Gossip]

- Every goddamn celebrity doing the goddamn ALS Ice Challenge. [Dlisted]

- Hot chicks pulling off their clothes, anyone? [theCHIVE]

- Ariana Grande might be a serial killer. Or something. [Fishwrapper]

- Funny Girl Sex Guide: Opening Up My Sex Toy Goodie Drawer (Part 2) [The Frisky]

- The Ultimate Warrior‘s wife hates Hulk Hogan. [WWTDD]

- Rachel Bilson‘s prego-boobs. [Popoholic]

- Gisele Bundchen is the world’s highest paid model? Really? [Starpulse]

- Ali Larter pregnant in a bikini is still hotter than Lena Dunham. [tooFab]

- And so is Christie Brinkley who turned 60. 60. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Rita Ora‘s ass is still trying to be Rihanna. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Commercial Has Breasts

August 18th, 2014 // 41 Comments

Jessica Simpson‘s breasts breast Breastica Breast Breastson breast breasts signature fragrance breast video commercial breasts made breasts with breasts in them and the breasts were like breasts. Big ol’ titties.

Breast breast.

Breast Video After The Breast Jump

Bertney Gets Back To Work

August 18th, 2014 // 23 Comments

Bertney Gets Back To Work
A Jump Into Reading! Story For Summer Super Kids

Bertney had an extra fun summer vacation this year. She got to visit The Cheesecake Factory, get Boto-tox, and try on fancy britches that looked purty as pie when the nerdy man made pictures in the ‘puter box.
“Hows comes y’all can’t see me no more?” Bertney asked Papa.
“Well, that’s part a bein’ sexy, Bertney Jean,” Papa said. “Like how I tell ya to stop makin’ everyone pull your finger before Mr. David comes over. Boys like it when you’re not yourself.”
Bertney didn’t understand what Papa just said, which is all the time, she’ll tell you with a giggle, but she did understand the pulling her finger part and made a special brain memory to do it as soon as Papa left. But before she could remember her thought, it turned into a beautiful butterfly. Bertney loved butterflies.
Soon, Bertney found herself on stage in Lost Vegas again. More »

Nina Agdal’s In A Bikini, Everybody Shut Up

August 18th, 2014 // 15 Comments

There’ve been a lot of words written on the site today, too many if I’m being frank, that have nothing to do with Nina Agdal in a bikini, so honestly it’s a miracle the Earth hasn’t spun off its axis and careened into the sun yet. You’re lucky I got here just in time.

Photos: Getty