Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Taylor Swift’s Camel Toe: Ain’t Nothing Controversial About That

October 24th, 2014 // 16 Comments

It’s been a hell of a day full of child molesters, death treats over gun control, 12-year-olds getting implants, and more child molesters, so here’s Taylor Swift‘s camel toe which is about as plain, vanilla, and non-controversial as it gets. You could show it to people with anxiety and it’d put them right to sleep, that’s how calm and soothing it is. Like a lighthouse calling ships to shore. (Vaginas have lights, right? — Then how are you supposed to see them in the dark? Who made these things?)

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Galo Ramirez/AKM-GSI, Splash News

Ariana Grande Isn’t Getting Implants. I’m Sorry?

October 24th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Ariana's Life Coach Quit
Ariana Grande Nicki Minaj iHeart Radio Music Festival
Now You Know Shit Is Bad Read More »

Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Ariana Grande was getting a boob job to make her boyfriend Big Sean happy despite the fact he dumped his girlfriend Naya Rivera right after she got hers. But Ariana’s reps are denying those reports which seems unnecessary because she’s 12 and everyone knows 12-year-olds can’t get breast implants. Or can they? Actually, don’t answer that. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Hollywood Life reports:

Don’t fret, Arianators! A rep for Ariana told HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY, the “reports are SO fake!”
Furthermore, a source close to the singer tells us, “She’s so happy with her body as is!”

*props box up with a stick* Okay, now when the guy dating Honey Boo Boo‘s mom shows up, I’ll pull the string and trap him underneath. Or half of my audience if I’m looking at the pageviews from this gallery right. You know what? I should probably rethink this. And disarm that bear trap. Wait, don’t click on the pictures yet! *SNAP!*

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Photos: ELMO NY / MPNC / AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Good Morning, JLo’s Butt, And Other News

October 24th, 2014 // 13 Comments

- What exactly does Kate Middleton do? I’m seriously asking. [Lainey Gossip]

- All the sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey had to be reshot. I bet there wasn’t enough pube pulling. [Dlisted]

- Bouncing Breasts GIFs, anyone? [theCHIVE]

- Liberals made Bristol Palin get drunk and start a fight or something. [Fishwrapper]

- Unless the Joey Potter Dachshund joins Scientology and levitates, no dice. [The Frisky]

- Hel-the-fuck-lo, Denise Schaefer. [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- Jesus Christ, there’s already ANOTHER hot teacher fucking students. It’s been one day. [WWTDD]

- Don’t ask for a selfie with Anderson Cooper while he’s reporting a goddamn shooting, idiot. [Death and Taxes]

- Anne Hathaway still has big breasts. [Popoholic]

- Wait. They replaced Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk already? But I just saw him in the trailer. [tooFab]

- What’s up, Jehane Gigi Paris? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Holy hell, Genevieve Morton. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

North West Will Have To Work For What She Wants

October 23rd, 2014 // 20 Comments
Kim Poses Naked
Kim Kardashian Naked Butt
Will Tell You She Was Fully Clothed The Whole Time Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

The Superficial’s Theory of Kardashian, which states “Upon the opening of the mouth, utter bullshit shall spew forth until said mouth closes or is rendered unintelligible by oral processes related to the filming of interracial pornography,” so we already know that when Bos Optimum, or Kim Kardashian, as the humans who arrogantly ignore her bovine royalty title refer to her, says that North West will have a job at some point in her life, we can disregard that as just the cud talking. Via E! Online:

“I was saying that earlier to my friends, ‘I wonder what [North's] first job is gonna be.’ And they were like, ‘What? She’s gonna have a job?’ and I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Of course she is,’” she told the publication. “She will have to work for what she wants.”

There’s more about how Kim always had to “save up” for stuff that she wanted as a kid and trust me you guys, I’m trying really fucking hard not to make a sex worker joke about a baby here, especially in light of this horrific mess, so I’ll go with the only way this mythical job interview could possibly go: More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

October 23rd, 2014 // 21 Comments

- Captain America‘s probably banging Minka Kelly again. [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Lopez is following in Britney Spears‘ footsteps. The Britney Spears. [Dlisted]

- These Girls Know How To Work A Dress [theCHIVE]

- LeAnn Rimes will destroy Christmas now. [Fishwrapper]

- Toys R Us caved to the Florida mom bitching about Breaking Bad figures. [The Frisky]

- Megan Mahoney is your new hot teacher who got caught banging students. [WWTDD]

- Homosexuality is a sin, says guy who jerks off in strangers cars with spark plugs. [Death and Taxes]

- Olivia Munn wore some sort of ballerina thing. [Popoholic]

- Is this a message to Shia LaBeouf? What’s happening here? [tooFab]

- Kelly Brook‘s 2015 calender is here. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Victoria’s Secret is finally catching up to the Internet. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Good Morning, Maitland Ward, And Other News

October 22nd, 2014 // 60 Comments

- Selena Gomez might be banging Orlando Bloom again. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Phillippe: “I’ve only made five good movies.” [Dlisted]

- Presenting The Internet’s Booty Hall of Fame [theCHIVE]

- Dean McDermott used to jerk off to Tori Spelling when she was on 90210. [Fishwrapper]

- Adobe sides with #GamerGate because the poor wiener children are being “bullied.” [The Frisky]

- Oscar Pistorius will basically spend 10 months in prison. If that. [WWTDD]

- Your Hypnotic Ass GIF of The Day [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- Buzzfeed is the most distrusted media outlet. [Death and Taxes]

- Keeley Hazell is still hot. [Popoholic]

- Renee Zellweger responds to Internet: “I’m healthy.” [tooFab]

- Cora Skinner in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Cailin Russo is topless again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News

Did Tyga Put A Baby In Kylie Jenner?

October 21st, 2014 // 28 Comments
Nothing Alarming Here
Kylie Jenner Tyga
Just A Teenager Dating A 25-Year-Old Rapper Read More »

As more and more evidence points to Tyga dating Kylie Jenner, his Instagram followers have decided to call him a pedophile for dating a 17-year old, but apparently they just a jealous ass ho who wish he’d put a baby in them. Like he did with Kylie? Wait. Via Fishwrapper:

“why u sound so hateful. U don’t know s–t bout my life but the fake s–t u read online. Worry about your sad boring life. U wish u can have a baby by a n—- like me and live this lifestyle. let me guess no one wants u or ever attempted to spoil u and give u the world like I do for mines. Your ugly not just physically but in your soul. Never speak on on my son.”

Supposedly, he’s talking about the son he was with Blac Chyna, but these are the Kardashians we’re talking about, so it’s not like they wouldn’t jump at the chance to birth some more rappers’ babies. Or “retirement funds” as Kris calls them. “Don’t forget to put a 401k in your ham wallet!” she probably says before sending Kylie off to school. (I’m kidding, that’s the maid’s job.)

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Photo: Instagram

Blake Lively’s Pregnant Body Won The Angel Ball

October 21st, 2014 // 16 Comments

Normally, pregnancy is God’s way of cursing woman for using their filthy vagina holes for sex, but sometimes it can result a in beautiful transformation instead of the Beast of the Apocalypse. And such is the case with Blake Lively who took time away from running a website full of plagiarism and the hottest slaveowner fashions to look goddamn remarkable at whatever the hell the Angel Ball is. There are women without a parasite living inside of them who don’t look this good. It’s changed everything I thought I knew about the female body.

ALTERNATE POST FOR HILARY DUFF:

Your butt’s prettier. Let’s get married! *pulls out diamond ring, waits for it…*

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / AKM-GSI, Splash News