Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Nikki Lund, And Other News

September 18th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- George Clooney only has nine days left to say “Psyche!” [Lainey Gossip]

- Beyonce will Photoshop the lip syncing in later. [Dlisted]

- It’s Yoga Pants Season [theCHIVE]

- Alanis Morisette is blonde now. [Fishwrapper]

- Having trouble going into labor? Batman a purse snatcher. [The Frisky]

- CBS pulled “Run This Town” because they never had the rights to it in the first place. [WWTDD]

- What’s up, Samantha Basalari? [Popoholic]

- Kim Zolciak wants you to see her new plastic surgery. [tooFab]

- Kanye has his wife doing PR for him now. [IDLYITW]

- Goddamn, Alyssa Barbara. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kerry Washington looks thrilled to stop domestic violence. [Celebslam]

- Sara Malakul still has awesome big breasts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

A Moment For Candice Swanepoel’s Butt

September 17th, 2014 // 11 Comments

I’ve got another post coming up where some asshole not only defends Adrian Peterson, but openly considers using a switch on his child. So before we all feel really dark inside from churning up repressed childhood memories, here’s Candice Swanepoel’s butt whose dimples have never beaten a child. Trust me, I have cameras everywhere. I mean… yeah, that came out like it sounds.

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Photos: INFphoto

Beyonce Has The Photoshop

September 17th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Didn't We Just Do This?
Beyonce Butt Jay Z On The Run Tour Opening Night
Now They're Faking A Pregnancy Read More »

Joan Rivers‘s death might have exposed the fatal danger of selfies in the medical field, and large swaths of America still thinks it’s acceptable to beat children with wooden objects, but let’s take a moment for the very serious issue of whether or not Beyonce is Photoshopping herself again. After posting a new bikini picture to her website, her fans couldn’t help but notice the unusual shape of her thigh gap (look at the stairs) and proceeded to lose their shit because Beyonce is a pillar of truth and honesty who’s never tried to hide how she really looks before. How could she do this to them? Is it because of the Illuminati? Tell them it’s because of the Illuminati, and they’ll stop thinking about the whole thing. And if you can’t say it out loud, fake a divorce if it’s yes. A pregnancy if it’s no. Bey-hive, set your decoder rings!

Photo: Beyonce

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

September 17th, 2014 // 9 Comments

- Here’s Beyonce drinking champagne, everyone who bought the pregnancy rumors. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ariana Grande hopes all her fans “fucking die.” [Dlisted]

- Booty Shorts Have My Attention [theCHIVE]

- Adrienne Baillon is still shitting on the Kardashians. [Fishwrapper]

- Yes, let’s ask Miss America pageant contestants about Ray Rice. This should go well. [The Frisky]

- Robin Thicke sucks at everything. [WWTDD]

- Meet your new Intenret master. [Death and Taxes]

- What’s up, Jennifer Lamiraqui? [Popoholic]

- Haley Joel Osment explains why he looks like a fat little Nazi. [tooFab]

- Anastasia Ashley does Maxim. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Lara Stone in panties, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

Coroner: Lindsay Lohan Never Touched Whitney Houston’s Body Bag

September 16th, 2014 // 19 Comments
Lindsay's Gone Digital
Lindsay Lohan Weisses Fest
She's Stealing Apps Now Read More »

In a new interview with The Telegraph, Lindsay Lohan claimed she handled Whitney Houston’s body bag during her court-ordered community service at the LA County morgue. Which obviously never happened because Lindsay Lohan said it did, but just for fun, here’s the coroner’s office pointing out how completely full of shit she is:

An official from the Coroner’s Office tells TMZ … Whitney was NEVER in a body bag and no one in the probation program came in contact with Whitney’s body.
Lindsay — who was ordered by a judge to spend time at the morgue to teach her a lesson about drinking and driving — claimed in an interview she was singled out to roll Whitney’s body bag.

In Lindsay Lohan’s defense, she is a cyborg hooker from the future now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from cyborg hookers from the future it’s that our definition of reality no longer pertains to them. Also, they can see through any object, so there’s no point in hiding your wallet. Don’t even bother.

Photos: INFphoto, Splash News

Rihanna To CBS: ‘F*ck You For Pulling My Song’

September 16th, 2014 // 23 Comments

In light of the Ray Rice incident, CBS decided to pull “Run This Town” from Thursday Night Football because Rihanna was the victim of domestic violence, so let’s make her feel ashamed to have her music broadcast before the sacred and holy communion of NFL football. Except now they want to play her song this week because how else are they going to get past this Adrian Peterson shit without pretending everything’s fine and acting like nothing happened? Rihanna ain’t having it.

CBS you pulled my song last week, now you wanna slide it back in this Thursday? NO, Fuck you! Y’all are sad for penalizing me for this.

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for CBS responded, “It’s cool. We’ll just play a Michael Jackson song. That won’t remind anyone of child abuse, and we’ll just blow right by this Adrian Peter- I’m sorry, his father did what now? Oh. Oh GOD. *runs screaming down the hall* STOP IT! STOP THE MUSIC! FOOTBALL’S IN DANGER!”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Kanye Is A ‘Married, Christian Man,’ You Assholes

September 16th, 2014 // 38 Comments
Kanye Hates Cripples
Kanye West
Would It Kill Them To Stand Up? Read More »

Kanye West has found himself in some shit after not once, but twice, demanding everyone at his shows stand up during his performance of “Good Life.” Which seems innocuous until you realize there were handicapped people in the audience who had to literally verify their disability before Kanye would go on. At one point, he actually complained how long it was taking because why rely on statistical probability when you can make your bodyguard embarrass the fuck out of a man in a wheelchair? Except now Kanye’s found out all y’all’s been talking about this shit and stopped another show to let everybody know the media’s got the wrong target. My man’s a Christian, and a true artist who’s not afraid to talk about pictures of his dick, so maybe put a helmet on before you read this. Via The Daily Beast: More »

Good Morning, Claudia Romani, And Other News

September 16th, 2014 // 2 Comments

- Holy shit, Angelina Jolie‘s new boobs are in a tanktop. [Lainey Gossip]

- John Travolta‘s pube beard will talk about those gay allegations now. [Dlisted]

- In case Claudia Romani isn’t enough bikini butt for you, enjoy. [theCHIVE]

- Kylie Jenner is a Kardashian Dirty Bomb waiting to explode. [Fishwrapper]

- There’s a homeless dude picking up women so he has a place to sleep? That’s actually amazing. [The Frisky]

- Nicki Minaj‘s old high school wouldn’t let her “inspire” kids. [WWTDD]

- Snoop Dogg is calling people “fags” on Instagram. Oh, good. [Death and Taxes]

- What’s up, Stella Maxwell? [Popoholic]

- That chick who went from George Clooney to Steve-O got married. [tooFab]

- Rosie Jones jumping on a trampoline. [Hollywood Tuna]

- And Kim Kardashian watching women flash their tits at Kanye. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: INFphoto