Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Cynthia Escobar, And Other News

October 17th, 2014 // 14 Comments

- Jamie Dornan does British Vogue. [Lainey Gossip]

- Glenn Close apparently grew up in a cult. [Dlisted]

- The End Zone: Professional Football Mascots, Ranked [The Frisky]

- Dane Cook is still a douche. [Fishwrapper]

- Have I mentioned I fucking love this Tumblr? I fucking love this Tumblr. [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- What Better Way To End A Week Than With Squishy Gals? [theCHIVE]

- Sometimes you just have to bang a stuffed horse inside a Walmart. [Death and Taxes]

- Nina Agdal in a bikini. You click now. [Popoholic]

- Jesus Christ, Hailey Baldwin. [tooFab]

- Here Are Some People (and Things) That Look Like Rick Scott [The Daily Banter]

- What’s up, Bonnie Rotten? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Goddamn, Lydia Heart‘s behind-the-scene video. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

October 16th, 2014 // 12 Comments

Normally this is the part where I’d write an eerily accurate children’s story about Britney Spears‘ dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she’d probably know it’s “T’ursday” which is literally the most generous thing I’ve ever said about Britney Spears in my life. It’s a miracle I didn’t fly out of my chair just typing that. “And now I’ll write that she knows what day of the week it- FUCKING SHIT!” *flies backwards as keyboard explodes*

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Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

And Now Back To Kesha Said, Dr. Luke Said

October 16th, 2014 // 22 Comments
Kesha Sues Dr. Luke
Kesha Legs Short Romper
Dr. Luke Sues Kesha Right Back Read More »

I’m going to start myself off in a hole here, and see how far I can climb myself out or dig myself even deeper as I do. Kesha‘s stint in rehab for an “eating disorder” has always seemed sketchy as shit. Especially when her mom checked in with her for “PTSD” which now seems even more suspicious considering she allegedly threatened Dr. Luke over a year ago (Read: pre-rehab) that she would destroy him in the press if he didn’t release the rights to Kesha’s music. TMZ reports:

Kesha’s mom sent Dr. Luke’s lawyer an email a year ago … alleging Luke raped her daughter — but there’s a distinct smell of extortion.
In the email — obtained by TMZ — Pebe Sebert complains that Luke screwed her out of music publishing rights connected to her daughter. She then says:
“We, me and Kesha and her friends, like Lady Gaga, are going to make all of this Really PUBLIC, in the next few days. Luke date raped Kesha when she was 18. Nicky Hilton’s birthday? Paris Hilton’s house? Luke gave Kesha pills. She ended up naked in his hotel room 2 days later. No longer a virgin?”
The email then gives an ultimatum:
“Do we all want this to come out? Either Luke releases Kesha from all legal contracts, and gives me back all my publishing, or we, Kesha and I, tell the truth.”

On top of that, you have Kesha’s own team leaking to TMZ that during her stint in rehab, she “spontaneously” – Their own words. – began to telling doctors about Dr. Luke’s alleged sexual abuse. Doctors who are willing to testify that.. Kesha said words to them? More »

Selena Gomez Walks Around Her House Naked

October 16th, 2014 // 26 Comments

After every awful post about child predators, or in this case the authors who defend them, I like to try and bring eveybody back to a happy place. So here’s Selena Gomez telling Ellen she likes to walk naked around her new, Justin Bieber-free house. As for what you’re supposed to do with that information, perhaps use it to forget rich white guys think other rich white guys shouldn’t go to jail for looking at child porn and have the capacity to do something about it. Because that’s what I’m doing: “Wait a minute, that’s not the way to the pantry, naked Selena Gomez. *fights back tears* You so cray- oh god they’re going to do things with their money.”

Video After The Jump

Abigail Ratchford In A Bikini And Other News

October 16th, 2014 // 15 Comments

- Ezra Miller is your movie Flash because apparently TV Flash wasn’t enough. [Lainey Gossip]

- Evan Rachel Wood has a new girlfriend. [Dlisted]

- Thursday. Redheads. Victory. [theCHIVE]

- Ready your Cumberboner, Sherlock will talk about experimenting with boys now. [Fishwrapper]

- Just a reminder: Kanye spent 90% of Kim Kardashian‘s pregnancy in another country. [The Frisky]

- Joanna Krupa‘s modeling bikinis now. [WWTDD]

- Fuck my Tumblr. Go to this one. You want to look at this one. [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- An entire frat pulled a CeeLo on Johnny Knoxville. [Death and Taxes]

- What’s up, Nicole Scherzinger? [Popoholic]

- OMG! Big just called Carrie a whore! [tooFab]

- Shoot the little bastard. Nobody’s gonna riot. [IDLYITW]

- Goddamn, Shelby Chesnes. [Hollywood Tuna]

- You too, Jeisa Chiminazzo. [Celebslam]

- Hipsters in lingerie eating pizza? Sure, why not? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

And Now Back To BEWBS (Specifically Courtney Stodden And Mozart Ones)

October 15th, 2014 // 22 Comments

For the sake of this post, let’s pretend I have two types of readers because broad generalizations are fun and easy. There are the thinkers and the boob lookers, and like any good parent, I love both of you equally. (To your face. Privately? I’ve plotted one of your deaths. Again, like a good parent.) So to keep things fair after the Michelle Obama post, here are Courtney Stodden‘s breasts at some thing somewhere, and below is Sara X performing Mozart’s “Eine kleine Nachtmusik” with hers. Which is particularly amazing because I dated a music major in college and not once did she whip this trick out. Maybe I would’ve gone to more recitals. Love is about meeting each other halfway. Or entirely catering to only one person’s kinks. Pot-ay-to, pot-ah-to.

Sara X Does ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’ After The Jump

BREAKING: Amber Rose Has A Butt

October 15th, 2014 // 16 Comments
Amber Rose Butt Instagram

I’ve been at this job for seven years now, so I really shouldn’t be surprised when the most ridiculous shit possible ends up turning into a huge Internet story, and yet here’s Amber Rose’s butt which apparently no one in entertainment media has seen until now. It’s not like that thing just grew overnight. It takes a four man team at least two days to pump it up. Three the weekend Jorge died. *pours out 40* Duermes con el Niño Jesús ahora, mi pequeño bombeador de culo.

Amber Rose’s Ass After The Jump

Frenchy Is Subtle And Other News

October 15th, 2014 // 26 Comments

- Blake Lively‘s hipster baby shower will sell you $52 onesies now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Taylor Swift‘s new single is a Victoria’s Secret queef mixed with Tears For Fears or something. [Dlisted]

- Stretching Deep For Hump Day [theCHIVE]

- Reese Witherspoon is just complex now, y’all. [Fishwrapper]

- Have I mentioned my Tumblr? [Yeah But Dinosaurs]

- SnapSaved wants Bitcoins for interviews on how 90,000 pics got hacked from their site. Yup. [The Frisky]

- Jennifer Lawrence is braless and happy. [WWTDD]

- #GamerGaters harass woman to prove they don’t harass women. [Death and Taxes]

- Johanna Lundback‘s in a bikini. [Popoholic]

- Kristen Bell shaves Dax Shepard‘s ass. YOU WERE VERONICA MARS. [tooFab]

- Maryna Linchuck‘s in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Maria Menounos‘ tramp stamp won’t deter me. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI