Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

The Butts of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Past And Present

July 24th, 2014 // 5 Comments

Above are bikini photos of Leonardo DiCaprio‘s girlfriend Toni Garrn going for a swim in St. Tropez presumably after a morning of watching him karate kick the poopdeck. (That sentence was way more full of sexual intrigue than I intended.) And below is Cameron Diaz‘s ass literally dying while on vacation with Benji Madden, so picture that the next time you want to criticize Leo for dumping his girlfriends the second they turn 23. He’s done the research. One time I even saw him wear goggles.

Photo: CIAO/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

Nicki Minaj Has A Butt, Not Sure If You Knew

July 24th, 2014 // 42 Comments
Nicki Minaj Butt Anaconda

Here’s the cover for Nicki Minaj‘s new single “Anaconda” which apparently is a song written by and for her butt. Or it’s about the metaphysical struggle between the dueling natures of humanity. You know what? I bet it’s that. You can tell by the shoes.

Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’ Cover After The Jump

LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian Told His Kids About Their Affair

July 24th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Is That Shit Poop?
LeAnn Rimes Bikini
A Serious Investigative Report Read More »

And in a week, they’ll tell them about this one. Having kids is great!

I don’t know how young is too young to tell a child daddy got tired of having sex with mommy and that’s why they live with a skeleton woman now, but apparently LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian felt ages 7 and 11 were good enough. In Touch Weekly reports:

“We’ve had discussions with them about the whole situation,” Eddie says in the new issue of Life & Style, on stands now, of their honesty with Mason, 11, and Jake, 7, about their infidelity. “They understand more than you think they do,” LeAnn adds.

I’m pretty sure they don’t, LeAnn Rimes, because they’re 7 and 11. But if they do somehow understand, your bedroom door has a lock. Fucking use it. In the meantime, how did that conversation even go? More »

Charisma Carpenter’s Naked

July 24th, 2014 // 30 Comments

While the entire Internet’s a flutter over Mommy Porn: The Movie and all the pube-pulling that dwells within, intrepid journalist Kevin alerted me to Charisma Carpenter tweeting a nude photo of herself last night to celebrate her birthday. How old is she? It doesn’t matter years old. why would you even ask me that? Or still be reading this? I linked to Edward Cullen Fisting Pants and a naked woman. There was something for everybody. Go. Get. Skedaddle.

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What’s Up, Andrea Calle? And Other News

July 23rd, 2014 // 11 Comments

- I’ve always thought these two should get together. [Lainey Gossip]

- Kid Rock‘s glass dildo has been subpoenaed. You just read that. [Dlisted]

- If You Like Tattoos, Get In Here [theCHIVE]

- The fucking Amish are sick of hearing Farrah Abraham‘s shit. [Fishwrapper]

- The more I hear Blake Lively talk, the more I still love her breasts. I’m a trooper. [The Frisky]

- Goddamn, Irina Shayk. [Popoholic]

- Snoop Dogg smoked weed in the White House. Thanks, Obama. [Starpulse]

- Miley Cyrus made a video with Pharrell if anyone still gives a shit. [tooFab]

- I suddenly forgot all about Kelly Brook. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Terry Richardson is subtle. Very, very subtle. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Britney Spears Has A Lingerie Line Now

July 23rd, 2014 // 26 Comments

Despite the fact we know she looks like Ann Coulter and Odo from DS9‘s fuck-baby now, here’s a completely realistic promo image for Britney Spears‘ lingerie line which we’re supposed to believe is designed by her even though it’s called “The Intimate Collection” instead of “Fancy Britches.” Also, not a single outfit is made out of lobster bibs, so c’mon. Don’t insult me.

Photos: Splash News

Selena Gomez & Cara Delevingne Are Still Partying

July 23rd, 2014 // 43 Comments

The “media” will try and tell you that Selena Gomez is on this yacht with her new boyfriend Tommy Chiabra even though it’s obvious she’s having hot lesbian sex with Cara Delevingne who has the sort of soft, delicate hands she’s accustomed to. In fact, at one point, she even turned to Cara and said she heard that bloggers have even softer hands, unmarred by manual labor, athletics, and general exercise. Which Cara admitted she heard, too, and that they should probably look into that sooner than later. I saw the whole thing happen.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto

Lana Del Rey F*cked ‘A Lot’ of Industry People To Get A Record Deal, It Didn’t Work

July 23rd, 2014 // 27 Comments
Speaking of Prostitution
Lindsay Lohan Ali Lohan Bikini Photos Luxury Yacht
Lindsay Lohan's On A Boat Read More »

Over the past few months, Lana Del Rey has given a series of exhausting interviews that you haven’t seen on this site because I’m pretty sure I just said they were exhausting. Pay attention. And now she’s given a new one to Complex that has everybody all a tizzy because there is jackshit happening thanks to Comic-Con starting tomorrow. Anyway, this time around she’s complaining about banging industry people who promised her a record deal, and then didn’t, so let’s all pretend that’s super scandalous. Human beings touching fuck-parts for a variety of motives?! Why, I never…

There are a few different ways to take your song “Fucked My Way Up to the Top.” Is it about people not wanting to give you credit for your success? Or is it about fucking people to get to the top? It’s commentary, like, “I know what you think of me,” and I’m alluding to that. You know, I have slept with a lot of guys in the industry, but none of them helped me get my record deals. Which is annoying.

Keep in mind, she banged Marilyn Manson, Axl Rose, and presumably Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan at the same time, after she scored a record deal, so I’m guessing these industry types weren’t horrifying drug beasts the way she likes. I can see how that might be annoying. Not to mention Axl Rose at least offers you a ham sandwich when he’s done fucking you. He may have just found it under his bed, and it’s not so much a sandwich as a shoe with bologna in it, but it’s the thought that counts.

Photos: Getty