Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Eva Mendes Ryan Gosling Baby Pregnant

July 9th, 2014 // 10 Comments

“What is that? Some sort of SEO shit?”
“Why’s her name first?”

If you somehow haven’t had it screamed into your face now, twin bullshit factories Star and OK! Magazine are both reporting Eva Mendes is seven months pregnant with Ryan Gosling‘s baby. Which might actually be true, according to Lainey Gossip, who I’m going kicking this whole post over to because I only engage in high-stakes journalism where war machines look like butts. It’s a style of integrity I try not to brag about.

UPDATE: And we’ve got a confirmation. Please give your uterus my condolences.

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Kim Kardashian Is Like A Working Mom, You Guys

July 9th, 2014 // 46 Comments
Kim Will Crush Our Enemies
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While appearing on CNBC yesterday to promote her Kardashian Kid Klothes (Try the hoods!), Kim Kardashian decided to refute Pespi CEO Indra Nooyi‘s recent comments that working moms really can’t have it all because Kris Jenner taught her daughters that you fucking abandon your kids until you can pimp them out for money and you abandon those little shits now. Via Jezebel:

I mean, I think that’s just not really like a positive outlook and for me, like my mom kind of taught us girls that we could have it all. You know, she works hard. She taught us that if you work hard, it’s just all about prioritizing and I think that, yeah, it could get tough and after you have a baby, there are so many times when I just didn’t want to get up and work on something and I just wanted to be home with my baby, but, you know, for me, and I think I can speak for my sisters, it makes us feel good when we are out working and we can provide something for our friends and products that, you know, we can’t find that we really want. And it just makes you feel productive. So if anyone really feels like they can’t do it all, I feel like it’s a little bit discouraging to say that, even if I couldn’t and it wasn’t possible, I would try. And I would, you know, try my best to do it all.

Of course, what’s even more hilarious than abandoning your baby for the higher cause of shilling niche boutique items to rich people who are apparently dying without whore-emblazoned overalls for their kids is that Kim Kardashian’s “work” entails literally just walking around and doing whatever she wants while somebody films it. The other day she ate a salad. That was her job for the day. Christ, in the pics for the post you’re reading right now, she’s at a fucking amusement park. An amusement park. You know who loves amusement parks? BABIES. And, okay, pedophiles, but like she knows that.

Photos: Splash News

Those Are Ana Braga’s Nipples And Other News

July 8th, 2014 // 10 Comments

- Taylor Swift wrote an op-ed on the music industry. Oh, good. [Lainey Gossip]

- Halle Berry‘s daughter is already better at relationships than her mother. [Dlisted]

- Jennifer Lawrence can be dead sexy. Even in GIFs. [theCHIVE]

- Robin Thicke is blaming “Blurred Lines” for ruining his marriage. [Fishwrapper]

- Jesus Christ, how many kids does Beyonce‘s dad have? [WWTDD]

- What’s up, Tatiane De Souza bikini photos? [Popoholic]

- In case you live in a bubble, there’s a new Harry Potter story out. [Starpulse]

- The Situation has a new reality show about his family? FRANK SORRENTINO OR GTFO. [tooFab]

- Good God, Anna Kelle. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Amy Hood is one very naked pin-up model. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Chris Brown Dumped After Posting Karrueche Tran’s Ass To Instagram

July 8th, 2014 // 18 Comments

Over the weekend, Chris Brown posted the above pic of Karrueche Tran‘s ass to Instagram only to delete it and every single picture of her from his account. Turns out she’d prefer the entire Internet not look up her butthole, so she dumped him, according to Radar Online. Which actually seems pretty tame in comparison to all the things Chris Brown has done, so let’s not pretend she won’t take him back after he plays the “At least I didn’t hit you (yet/again), baby!” card. That shit worked on Rihanna, and he almost killed her. It’s practically magic.

Photos: Instagram / INFphoto

Cameron Diaz In A Bikini – Yay?

July 8th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Here’s Cameron Diaz in Miami yesterday, and since I’m a blogger of sheer sexual delight, I’ll just go ahead and link to hottest pic of the bunch. It’s like looking at a whole other person, right? She could be literally anyone but Cameron Diaz and all the Cameron Diaz face that comes with- wait, why I am even mentioning it? Holy shit, it’s controlling my thoughts! I knew it was evil! ABANDON POST.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

Sofia Vergara’s Banging Joe Manganiello

July 8th, 2014 // 15 Comments

Now that she’s finally ditched her abusive fiance for the second time, Sofia Vergara is free to find a real man who won’t shill salad toppings at the White House because he’s too busy looking at his rippling abs glistening in the morning sun, just waiting to be touched in a sea of strong, yet supple ruggedness that will transport you to a land of pleasure spoken only of by kings. To even think about it, causes sweat to bead upon the brow as reason gives way to passion and time is but a stallion to be broken and tamed in a fiery tempest leaving only one word upon your lips, “Mangianello. Mangianello…”

I mean, Fuck her right in the pussy! Yup, that’s what I wrote, and not a single word about a rippling sea of abs. You saw what you wanted to see back there. That’s all I’m going to say.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

Elisabetta Canalis Sunbathing Topless And Other News

July 7th, 2014 // 24 Comments

- Ladies don’t love cool Leonardo. [Lainey Gossip]

- George Clooney‘s future mother-in-law sounds fun. [Dlisted]

- Tabitha Lipkin is keeping it classy, San Diego. [theCHIVE]

- Mila Kunis‘ coolness was a disguise to hide her life-long love of Asthon Kutcher. [Fishwrapper]

- Jessica Alba, also technically in a bikini. [WWTDD]

- Kaley Cuoco‘s technically in a bikini. [Popoholic]

- Demi Lovato hates Selena Gomez now. [Starpulse]

- David Arquette got engaged a week after Courteney Cox if anyone gives a shit. [tooFab]

- Megan Fox is on Instagram now. [IDLYITW]

- Helen Flanagan just made me very interested in tennis. [Hollywood Tuna]

- It’s Rihanna‘s nipples again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

The Paparazzi Are Raping Kanye

July 7th, 2014 // 16 Comments
You Married This
Kim Kardashian Cleavage See-Through North West
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Kanye West made a conscious decision to marry Kim Kardashian, a woman who won’t even stop to pick up toilet paper without tipping off the paparazzi, so he really should’ve come to terms with how things are going to work until he eventually leaves her. But that would require Kanye to not be an insane primadonna who rants for 15 minutes in the middle of the songs, so here he is at the Wireless Festival in London where he played the “getting your picture taken is like rape” card that always goes over well. Right, Charlize Theron? Right. Via The Independent: More »