Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Lea Michele, And Other News

June 26th, 2014 // 5 Comments

- Oscar Isaac will clean up the mess Harrison Ford‘s broken pelvis made. [Lainey Gossip]

- Joe Biden knows what’s up. [Dlisted]

- Look at that Stormtrooper helmet. Oh, and that ass. [theCHIVE]

- That real life Elsa from Frozen took bikini pics now. [Coed]

- So Courtney Stodden has officially run its course. Good times. [Fishwrapper]

- Lea Michele went surfing, too. Her schnozz makes a great rudder. [WWTDD]

- Did Kim Kardashian Photoshop her own nipple? [The Frisky]

- According to Sports Illustrated, Valerie van der Graaf is legal, but I dunno… [Popoholic]

- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 has a trailer. [Starpulse]

- Masseuses are always looking at Channing Tatum‘s dick. Even if his wife’s there. [tooFab]

- Georgia Salpa is still a hotter version of Kim Kardashian. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Those are Miranda Kerr‘s nipples. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

‘Please Be Quiet Around My Tits And My Baby. My Tits And My Baby Need Silence.’

June 25th, 2014 // 43 Comments
Previously In Moo-Cows
Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Top
Donald Trump Wouldn't Hit It Read More »

Because Kim Kardsashian is a vacuous leather couch who demands constant attention, she wheeled her supposedly sleeping baby (and see-through tits) through LAX instead of sending it ahead with the nanny who nobody would’ve recognized and could’ve easily got the kid in a car. Except the paparazzi that Kris Jenner called in advance were promised Kim with North West for their cooperation which is why she felt extremely comfortable demanding silence in one of the busiest goddamn airports in America. Except here’s the amazing part: They actually listened. Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t get the next call, and they know for a fact complete fucking idiots will gladly pay for pics of Kim’s- GODDAMMIT! Alright, new plan: When they find my body at the shooting range in a hour, tell them I had a wife and Leonardo DiCaprio banged her. It’ll be funny, trust me. *searches for keys*

Video After The Jump

Katie Cleary’s Husband Shot Himself After Seeing Photos of Her With Leonardo DiCaprio

June 25th, 2014 // 45 Comments
Leo Gets A Pass
Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
Entirely Because of This Read More »

In a turn of events that surprisingly hasn’t happened sooner, Andrew Stern, the husband of Deal or No Deal model Katie Cleary, shot himself on Sunday following weeks of seeing photos of wife partying in Cannes with Leonardo DiCaprio and Adrian Grenier. According to her, they were already in the process of getting divorced and Leo and Adrian had nothing to do with it, but his friends say he was embarrassed as fuck and already battling depression which does kind of leave Leo out of this. But only Leo because let’s be realistic, most men understand they have a better chance of stopping their wife from getting caught in a rainstorm then not having sex with him. As for Adrian Grenier, well, you’d hope she’d know better and realize that funk isn’t going to wash off. You can only Febreeze a vagina so much before your husband realizes things are never going to back to the way they were before. These are facts.

Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI

Jenny McCarthy’s Getting Fired From ‘The View’

June 25th, 2014 // 26 Comments
I'm Sorry, Come Again?
Jenny McCarthy
Jenny McCarthy Says She's Not Anti-Vaccines Read More »

Earlier this month, a New York federal judge ruled that parents can no longer send their unvaccinated kids to public school claiming a “religious exemption” – Which needs to start happening in more states, Pennsylvania. – and now comes word that Jenny McCarthy‘s getting kicked off The View after a year, so it’s been a good month for anyone who prefers their children not dead. FOX 411 reports:

According to a well-placed insider, the former Playboy Playmate’s contract on the talk show is up for renewal in July and ABC will likely not be re-inking the deal.
“Jenny just didn’t appeal to the daytime audience market. They couldn’t relate to her,” a source told FOX411. “There are a lot of changes taking place now that Barbara [Walters] has left.”

Of course, the most important part of the story is when Jenny McCarthy was hired for The View and a whole bunch of places used one of our fart jokes as an actual quote from her. And by most important I mean I’ve got nothing and didn’t want to just write “YAAAAAY!” down here. I bet this is how Thom Friedman does it.

Photos: Splash News

Good Morning, Courtney Robertson, And Other News

June 25th, 2014 // 2 Comments

- Kristen Stewart wants to sue Joan Rivers for essentially being right. [Lainey Gossip]

- Megan Fox‘s life is so hard, you guys. [Dlisted]

- What is up, Libby Powell? [theCHIVE]

- Farrah Abraham is a motivational speaker now. [Fishwrapper]

- Michelle Vawer‘s in lingerie. [Popoholic]

- Justin Bieber‘s new neighbors already hate him. [Starpulse]

- Cute pic, but ask her what their names are. Go ahead. I’ve got time. [tooFab]

- Hello, Sarah Dumont… [Hollywood Tuna]

- Genevieve Morton is a way cooler Kate Upton. [Celebslam]

- Kate Compton gets naked for art or something. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

So Hank Baskett Gave His Transsexual Mistress A Handjob ‘Allegedly’

June 24th, 2014 // 35 Comments
Hank Cheated On Kendra
Ava Sabrina London Hank Baskett Mistress
Anything To Escape That Laugh Read More »

Yesterday, word got out that Hank Baskett allegedly cheated on Kendra Wilkinson with transsexual model Ava London. And for those of you wondering if Hank knew his lover used to be a man – besides, I dunno, looking right at him/her – turns out he definitely knew and make that a used to be a still is. Radar reports:

Although she claimed the two did not have sexual intercourse, she said Baskett still was satisfied.
“He put my penis close to his face and that’s when he, you know, he came really quickly,” she alleged. “Hank and I gave each other hand jobs and he played with my breasts. And it didn’t really go that much further because he had already come.”
And, even more surprising, after the act Baskett casually took a shower in London’s bathroom to clean up, London claimed.
But their intimate meet-up wasn’t for free, according to London. The model alleges that Baskett enjoyed their fling so much, he gifted her about $500 for the 20-minute romp.

Of course, the most offensive part here is Kendra used to live with Hugh Hefner and knows that’s way too much for a handjob. Jesus Christ, if her husband’s going to pay that much just to get off she’s got a bunch of old strap-ons in the garage and will find the energy. It’s called communication, people. Use it.

Photos: Facebook

Hope Solo Seems Fun

June 24th, 2014 // 22 Comments
Previously In Families
Jay Z Solange Beyonce
Never Forget The Elevator Read More »

For those of you who don’t know, soccer star Hope Solo was arrested over the weekend for domestic violence after she allegedly attacked her sister and 17-year-old nephew while drunk off her ass because she missed a flight. (I wonder how.) Her nephew even pulled a gun on her – albeit a BB gun – and hit her with a broomstick which didn’t even faze her because apparently Hope Solo is the goddamn Incredible Hulk. TMZ reports:

The boy says he walked into another room — but Hope followed and “called me a p**sy because I called my mom.”
“I then told her to get her c*nt face out of my house,” the boy said to police.
That’s when allegedly Hope went on the attack — grabbing the boy’s hair and repeatedly punching him.
“I then went into a back room and got an old gun that does not work, pointed it at her and she kept coming at me. She didn’t leave but walked around me cornering me like a shark.”
The boy says Solo eventually left the house when he called the cops — but then tried to get back in the house … and started attacking the boy’s mom … so he grabbed a broomstick and began hitting her in the head … but she kept coming.”

Hope Solo has since plead innocent and claims she’s the real victim here which sounds entirely believable to me because I’m pretty sure she can fly and burn things with her eyes. I’m not falling for this kid’s pussy lies. *hides in lead chamber* (Is she gone?)

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News

Emily Ratajkowski Topless In GQ Doesn’t Require Thinking

June 24th, 2014 // 16 Comments

My last post involved such liberal faggot shit as thinking and consideration for non-straight, white male members of society, so here’s Emily Ratajkowski posing for the July issue of GQ where you don’t have to do anything but get lost in her topless breasts. Or you can read about how she wants you to bang her with confidence like Denzel Washington which hopefully means like a drunken airline pilot because I’ve got rum, aviator glasses and a bag of peanuts. Very, very small peanuts. You know what? Scratch all this. Scratch it. ABORT.

Uncensored “Blurred Lines” Video After The Jump