Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Who Got Herpes This Weekend? And Other News

July 6th, 2014 // 11 Comments

- Robin Thicke misses Paula Patton so bad he has to bang groupies three at a time. [Lainey Gossip]

- Katy Perry‘s a Christian, you guys, and a Christian would never steal music. [Dlisted]

- Top Instagram Girls You Probably Don’t Know About [theCHIVE]

- This is what a Duggar looks like before her vagina becomes a Jesus cannon. [Fishwrapper]

- What’s up, Edyta Zajac? [Popoholic]

- Let’s see Buzzfeed make this list. [Starpulse]

- Brody Jenner never dated Lauren Conrad if anyone somehow still gives a shit. [tooFab]

- Rachelle Leah‘s in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Chris Brown has been reduced to doing reality television. [Celebslam]

- Arianny Celeste and Brittany Palmer are in bikinis. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News, Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

Chris Martin Quit Being A Vegetarian

July 3rd, 2014 // 19 Comments
Conscious Recoupling?
Gwyneth Paltrow
GOOP's Marriage Is A Mighty Phoenix! Read More »

“Hey, how you doin’? I can eat burgers now. *returns to call* So, anyway, she’s all ‘Who put the bloody doilies next to the bloody quinoa sifter?’ And I’m like, ‘Bitch, fuck your doilies! I want chicken nuggets.’ — Okay, that didn’t happen. But I thought it.”

Much like America celebrates its independence from Britain, so now shall Chris Martin celebrate his independence from eating macrobiotic polenta in a bowl of pretentious stew. Via Us Weekly:

Asked by host Steve Wright if he’s still a vegetarian, Martin replied, “Well, not really,” prompting Wright to say, “What do you mean ‘not really’?”
“Well, I eat meat,” the British singer answered, laughing. “I was vegetarian for quite a long time and then for various reasons I changed. My daughter’s vegetarian since she was born, so I keep getting tempted to go back. I don’t eat very much meat.”
Pressed for more, Martin explained, “I felt like you should only eat something that you’d be able to kill…You know, could you kill a fish? I wouldn’t like it, but I probably could, so I’ll eat the fish. But a giraffe…”

As for what his new, killable diet consists of, Chris Martin has created several tasty dishes using only Gwyneth Paltrow and badly wounded kittens. He hopes to expand to a squirrel that fell off the roof the other day.

Vantagenews/AKM-GSI

Michelle Rodriguez & Zac Efron Party Together, No Big Whoop, Wanna Fight About It?

July 3rd, 2014 // 9 Comments

Photo Boy had the top shot in The Crap We Missed yesterday, and now here’s the rest of Michelle Rodriguez partying with Zac Efron in Sardinia which seems random until you remember she was just hanging out with Boner Boy, so literally anything’s possible. The important thing is that this proves Zac Efron’s either a gay man in love with his mother’s breasts, a lesbian, or Old Man Winter. — I’m messing with you. The boat’s made of coke. The whole thing’s coke. If you check the underside, you’ll see Lindsay Lohan clinging to it.

Photos: CIAO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

Good Morning, Giant Cow Udders, And Other News

July 3rd, 2014 // 21 Comments

- Ryan Gosling fucking hated working with Rachel McAdams on The Notebook. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tori & Dean landed ANOTHER reality show. Fuck this entire world. [Dlisted]

- “Real Life Elsa” Anna Faith poses for Chive. [theCHIVE]

- Cameron Diaz doesn’t give a fuck about having kids. [Fishwrapper]

- WWE Diva Emma stole an iPad case from Walmart, is no longer a Diva. [WWTDD]

- That’s a man, baby. [Popoholic]

- Jewel‘s single, everybody who’s still trapped in 1998. [Starpulse]

- Melissa Joan Hart is still posting swimsuit pics. [tooFab]

- Good God, Tetyana Veryovkina. [Hollywood Tuna]

- This probably isn’t Lily Allen‘s vagina, but you’ll still click anyway. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Lindsay Lohan Actually Sued ‘Grand Theft Auto V’

July 2nd, 2014 // 36 Comments
There Is No God
Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Groped By Charlie Sheen Scary Movie 5
Lindsay Lohan Made It To 28 Read More »

As a bizarre 28th birthday present to herself, Lindsay Lohan officially filed her lawsuit against the makers of Grand Theft Auto V this morning despite it being proven completely horseshit back in December when she was drumming up press. Yahoo! Finance reports:

Lohan’s suit says a character named Lacey Jonas is an “unequivocal” reference to the “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday” star.
The suit says Lohan’s image, voice and styles from her clothing line are depicted. It says the game features West Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont hotel, where Lohan once lived.

I’m not going to waste my time going over this again, but to anyone even remotely familiar with celebrities, the character is a blatant satirical mash-up of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and, yes, Lindsay Lohan who are all public figures and subject to such. As for the game featuring Chateau Marmont, it has, again, a satirical version of it – with a completely different name – and I know Lindsay would love to believe she’s super synonymous with the place, but literally every fucking celebrity in Hollywood parties and stays there at any given moment. As for why her lawyer hasn’t explained to her that this case is dead right out of the gate, sometimes it’s fun to work pro bono. (Pro bono is Latin for “bongs the dick,” right? I could never make it through John Grisham novels.)

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Kendra’s Breasts Aren’t Wearing A Wedding Ring

July 2nd, 2014 // 18 Comments
Kendra's Moving Out
Kendra Wilkinson Bikini
Beats Growing
A Penis Read More »

Yesterday, because we’re in the middle of the whiz-bang, non-stop action vortex of the days before a holiday weekend, I posted about Kendra Wilkinson flushing her wedding ring down the toilet because it was given to her by a man who swore solemn vows of faithfulness only to turn around and give a transsexual $500 in exchange for mutual handjobs. It was a taut thriller as much as it was a childhood limerick. And now here she is in public without said ring even though just 30 seconds of conversations with Kendra would make “maybe she swallowed it” the most likely scenario. Regardless, there are at least five other more important things my trained eye noticed in these photographs: More »

Beyonce’s Changing Song Lyrics To Make It Sound Like Jay Z Cheated On Her Now

July 2nd, 2014 // 11 Comments
Beyonce Faces Are Back
Beyonce Butt Jay Z On The Run Tour Opening Night
Her Publicist Should Love These Read More »

It sounds like Beyonce could really use that yoga weekend with Gwyneth Paltrow – I’m joking. That’s Nazi shit. – because apparently she’s changing song lyrics to make it sound like Jay Z definitely cheated on her. And did I mention she’s doing this while she’s on tour with him? She’s doing this while she’s on tour with him. Via Jezebel:

The original lyrics are, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could/Been ridin’ with you for six years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.”
The lyrics she performed are — with changes in bold, “I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good / Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack bitch could/Been ridin’ with you for twelve years [...] I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.”

When reached for comment, Jay Z said, “Lyrics? Shit, man, I just stare at her ass when I’m up there. She been saying words all them times? Damn. That’s the strangest thing any mothafucka’s ever told me. Bitch’s song got words. Like real ones? In English? Damn…”

Photos: Getty

Kendall Jenner & Hailey Baldwin Are In Bikinis

July 2nd, 2014 // 21 Comments

Here’s Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin (Who spent an unusual amount of time staring at and photographing Kendall’s butt. Her father should pray for her.) paddleboarding in The Hamptons yesterday where they were somehow spotted and identified by the paparazzi from 8,000 yards away. Which almost makes you think they were tipped off, but who’d be dead enough inside to say, “Hey, you busy? Why don’t you drive two hours from the city and take pictures of my kid’s 18-year-old ass and her underage friend.” I don’t even think Satan would do that, and his daughter’s hot. — Get it? Hot? Hell? I’ll be in the garage with the car running.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News