Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Nicole Aniston, And Other News

March 27th, 2014 // 30 Comments

- The Tom Cruise jerking off pic cracks me up every time. EVERY. TIME. [Lainey Gossip]

- We’re officially one horseman shy of the apocalypse. [Dlisted]

- This is a gallery full of hot redheads. [theCHIVE]

- Lady GaGa is recycling PR stunts now. [Fishwrapper]

- Samuel L. Jackson is a vegan now. I feel like someone just shot the last unicorn. [WorldLifestyle]

- Dear Christian schools, the Internet will find you. [The Frisky]

- Wikipedia tells holistic medicine to eat a dick. [The Daily Banter]

- Selena Gomez is getting really good at Instagram. [Popoholic]

- And now Joan Rivers on Lena Dunham. [tooFab]

- What’s up, Macri Elena Velez Sanchez in a bikini? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Glenn Beck didn’t like Noah? I don’t believe it. [FilmDrunk]

- Good goddamn, Nina Agdal… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Oh, Yeah, Anna Wintour Made The Right Call

March 26th, 2014 // 49 Comments
Get Tested, Kylie
Kim Kardashian Bikini Kylie Jenner
Get Tested Now. Trust Me. Read More »

Now that Kim Kardashian‘s on the cover of Vogue, she’s theoretically “made it,” and shouldn’t have to resort to tricks like walking around New York in a see-through dress now that she’s a member of the fashion elite. Except wearing respectable clothing won’t give her a cheap and easy shot of attention thanks to undersexed bloggers going, “Ooh, underwear!” like clockwork before pleasuring themselves into an Empire Strikes Back collector mug. Or so people tell me. So here she is walking to Late Night With Seth Meyers yesterday while making sure everyone knows Anna Wintour is senile now. A fact not lost on Naomi Campbell who somehow used words to express her disbelief instead of a flying phone to the face, so clearly this is an impostor:

Naomi Campbell Laughs At Kim Kardashian’s Vogue Cover After The Jump

WTF Is Conscious Uncoupling?

March 26th, 2014 // 59 Comments
Marriage Is For Swine
Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin
GOOP & Chris Martin Separate Read More »

Yesterday, Gywneth Paltrow and Chris Martin shocked absolutely no one by announcing they’re separating. Except separating is a plebeian word beneath one of Madame GOOP’s station, so they’re calling it “conscious uncoupling” and providing reading material from new age therapists so that we, the swine and downtrodden, may better understand the evolutionary nature of their marriage and not define in it such pedestrian terms as “divorce” or “tired of fucking each other.” Via E! News: More »

Remember When DJ Wouldn’t Eat Because She Got Invited To A Pool Party Then Fainted At The Gym?

March 26th, 2014 // 25 Comments

She’s doing it again. I’M TELLING UNCLE JOEY!

Adding… Like those legs? Eat a dick. They belong to Jesus: More »

Good Morning, Caitlin O’Connor, And Other News

March 26th, 2014 // 8 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Naomi Campbell is suddenly uncomfortable with being known as a horrible bitch. [Lainey Gossip]

- Thor‘s twins have names. And his wife is reportedly knocked up again with triplets already. [Dlisted]

- The Lost Art Of The Sideboob [theCHIVE]

- Rihanna won a fashion award even though buttsex is so last spring. [Fishwrapper]

- 10 Sex Alternatives That Are Almost As Pleasurable As Sex that your man won’t at all use a reasonable excuses to cheat on you. [The Frisky]

- That time The Internet destroyed the anti-vaxxer’s idiotic viewpoint. [The Daily Banter]

- Gabriela Salvado‘s lingerie can melt eyeballs? EVERYBODY RUN!! [Popoholic]

- Kellan Lutz doesn’t get why everyone isn’t buying his see-through clothing line. [tooFab]

- Is Sabine Jemeljanova in sexy latex just the clever distraction Putin wants us focused on right now? Discuss. [Hollywood Tuna]

- New Master Plan: Step 1. Get cancer. Step 2. Call Channing Tatum. [FilmDrunk]

- Behati Prinsloo‘s nipples, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo: Splash News

Gwyneth Paltrow Officially Declares Marriage Is For Poor People

March 25th, 2014 // 40 Comments
Who Isn't GOOP Fucking?
Gwyneth Paltrow
Is Apparently A Question We All Should Be Asking Read More »

Despite tattooing Chris Martin‘s initials on her pubical veranda near the Rue de Vagine, Gwyneth Paltrow just announced on her GOOP website (which is some next level clickbait shit that definitely made my penis move) that they’re separating after 10 years of marriage. Here’s the full statement that remarkably wasn’t hand-delivered to your local magistrate on the finest of parchments. We live in a barbaric age.

Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Announce Their Separation After The Jump

That’s Kristen Bell’s Butt In A Bikini

March 25th, 2014 // 32 Comments

Let me be the first to say, yes, you’re right. It isn’t fair to post Kristen Bell‘s butt in a bikini directly above Maria Menounos‘ legendary ass of lore. Except you know what else isn’t fair? Comparing getting your picture taken with child rape which is also why I’ve freshly prepared this bowl of dicks for Kristen to eat. *slaps Photo Boy’s hand away* Bad! No. Those are for guests.

Photos: AKM-GSI