Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

On Emma Watson And The Shitheads Threatening Her With The Fappening

September 23rd, 2014 // 123 Comments

Let me start out by defining my absolutely questionable relationship with The Fappening, so I look slightly less hypocritical here. For starters, like anyone writing about The Fappening(s) whether to condemn it or go, “Holy shit, boobs!” it’s been a goddamn SEO boon, the lifeblood of any site. We’re all drinking deeply from the same trough no matter how you dress it up. That said, I have never entertained the thought that the celebrities who take nude photos (See? I’m doing it right there.) are “sluts” or “whores” that were asking for it. Except for maybe Kim Kardashian who uses a Blackberry yet somehow ended up being included in an iCloud hack, but I digress. I will, however, admit to being largely indifferent to the cause of “celebrity privacy” and operate under the belief that they willingly traded it to be in the spotlight. Does that mean their phones should be illegally hacked and private photos leaked online? Not at all. Am I not losing sleep over it and viewing it as the toothpaste’s already out of the tube? Yes, but keep in mind, I’m kind of an asshole. And for the record, if this shit happened to men, you’re goddamn wrong if you think I wouldn’t milk the SEO out of their dongs. I’d milk it so hard. Anyway, all of this is becoming moot thanks to a group of 4chan members deciding to wield these hacks like a club to shame Emma Watson for – GASP! – mildly extolling the virtues of feminism. Here are exact words which apparently aren’t for the faint of balls. Via Death and Taxes: More »

Daphne Joy’s In A Bikini

September 23rd, 2014 // 22 Comments

You’re probably wondering how I can just go from a post defending Emma Watson and the virtues of feminism to Daphne Joy bikini photos, and it’s simple, really. I push “Publish,” and then people go, “Good heavens, are those ass and titties?” before clicking on each photo hundreds of thousands of times which somehow makes me money to write whatever bullshit I want. I have no idea how it keeps happening.

This has been another exciting installment of, “At Least I’m Not Dealing Drugs, Mom.”

Photos: Splash News

If Only There Was Some Way To Tell If Lady GaGa Has A New Album Out

September 23rd, 2014 // 8 Comments

If you’re wondering why I put stars over Lady Gaga’s pasties, trust me when I say that from far away – say the exact distance you’re boss would be standing – the fabric of her dress creates a circular effect that looks exactly like a nipple. Which is also why I’m typing five feet away fomar my deskmm withA BROoom> iTs’ goigng we;ll

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Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Chelsea Heath’s Butt’s Back And Other News

September 23rd, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are starting to be photographed together. [Lainey Gossip]

- Robert Pattinson has a new girlfriend who probably didn’t name her cat Renessmee. [Dlisted]

- What’s Monday Night Without Some NFL Cheerleaders? [theCHIVE]

- Methinks the Beyonce Beyonces too hard. [Fishwrapper]

- Hilary Duff wants a Lizzie McGuire reunion because she’s so smart and has the best ideas. <3 <3 [The Frisky]

- A Three-Titted Lady exists in our reality. The future is finally here! [WWTDD]

- Minka Kelly ate Derek Jeter‘s butthole but is still hot. [Popoholic]

- Jessica Simpson is calling her husband fat now. My how the tables have turned… [tooFab]

- What’s up, Fanny Francois? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Miley Cyrus completely topless. Whee. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

And Now Back To Courtney Stodden’s Breasts

September 22nd, 2014 // 33 Comments

It was getting close to if not already past the time to wrap Courtney Stodden in a shower curtain and toss her in an Internet landfill next to Weston Cage (Remember Weston Cage?). But then she did something remarkable by showing everyone how low her implants are sagging, and the whole site lit up like a Christmas tree. So here they are again except better supported, so I might as well have thrown them in the trash and set it on fire. You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. This whole thing was stupid.

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Photos: Pacific Coast News

This Is Jennifer Lopez’s New Stage Outfit

September 22nd, 2014 // 24 Comments

Jennifer Lopez has to compete with performers half her age, or in Ariana Grande‘s case, ones that could be her (great) granddaughter. And to her credit, she’s already tackled the problem head on by making ass videos with Iggy Azalea. That’s ingenuity in it’s purest form. That said, here’s Jennifer Lopez performing in Singapore in some sort of weird lingerie outfit while straddling a fainting couch because if there’s one thing that conjures up thoughts of hot, sexy youthfulness, it’s the same furniture your Nana has in her sewing room. Do you masturbate or think about oatmeal cookies? Those two don’t belong together. (Snickerdoodles? Maybe.)

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI

Kate Hudson Sees Dead People

September 22nd, 2014 // 17 Comments
Muse Knows What's Up
Kate Hudson Butt Bikini
Matt Bellamy Kisses Some Ass Read More »

In an interview with a British radio show, Kate Hudson revealed she once saw a woman’s ghost which is all the excuse I need to repost these bikini photos of her ass. That other stuff I was talking about via Us Weekly:

Hudson, who appeared on the U.K. talk show alongside Wish I Was Here costar Zach Braff, claimed she once saw “a ghost of a woman with no face.”
“It is not really seeing, it is feeling a spirit,” the blonde then clarified of her apparent sixth sense. “A fifth energy. I believe in energy. I believe our brains can manifest into visual things.”

But don’t worry, Kate will tell you exactly what to do when you eventually see a ghost. And you will:

“When you see something, you are supposed to tell the energy what year it is and that they don’t belong there,” she said. “When your brain is freaking out on you, you may have to remind it. Why is being dead funny?”

Question: What happens if the ghost – I’m sorry, “energy” – died the same year that you saw it, but you still tell it what year it is anyway? What happens then? Does it say, “Uh, no shit,” and return to the ether? Or do the drugs wear off and you realize you left the kids by the pool again? Because I’m leaning towards that last one.

Photos: Splash News

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