Archive for the ‘Candid’ Category

Welcome Back, Bo Osinki’s Butt, And Other News

February 26th, 2014 // 4 Comments

- Rihanna is definitely banging Drake again. [Lainey Gossip]

- Dr. Blossom has more thoughts on breastfeeding. [Dlisted]

- Elizabeth has some strong selfie game. [theCHIVE]

- Mons Pubis Is The New Underboob [The Frisky]

- Apparently Michelle Rodriguez meditates naked. [Fishwrapper]

- Michael Sams responds to anti-gay NFL legislation some asshole tried to propose. [The Daily Banter]

- Pacific Rim with Walter White Godzilla has a trailer. [tooFab]

- These Breaking Bad episode posters are badass. [BuzzFeed]

- Hello, Andreea Diaconus… [Popoholic]

- And you, too, Emily Scott. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Megan Draper does GQ. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Bertney And The No-Bra Boobies Dress

February 25th, 2014 // 28 Comments

Bertney And The No-Bra Boobies Dress
A Read-Master Adventure

Ever since Bertney was a little girl she never liked bras.
“Papa, if Baby Jesus made boobies to hang down and point all diff’rent d’rections, shouldn’t they hang down and point all diff’rent d’rections?” she had asked each and every morning for 22 years.
“Now, Bertney Jean,” Papa would say in his serious voice. “You know what happens when you go outside without them.”
“Demons,” Bertney would sigh. “Demons’ll happen.” But that didn’t stop her from taking it off while her bodyguards were driving. And sometimes even when Bertney was driving. It was her special magic trick!
One morning in particular, Bertney really wanted her boobies to hang free, so she put on a special dress and slipped out the door while Papa was busy counting his piles of money he makes from letting berfriends do silly things to her special spot. They always made such goofy faces!
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Charlie Sheen Wants Everyone To Stop Calling His Porn Star Fiancee A Porn Star

February 25th, 2014 // 41 Comments
Charlie Sheen's Engaged
Brett Rossi Porn Star
Because That Always Ends Well Read More »

This fiancee right here. (Adding… Haha! The sink’s like a dick.)

Charlie Sheen got engaged to Brett Rossi last weekend which was widely reported along with the fact that she’s a porn star. Except not anymore because Charlie Sheen’s making an honest woman out of her, and everyone knows that makes some sort of magic happen where penises didn’t repeatedly enter her vagina on camera for money. The Warlock can’t believe you puke-maggots don’t know that. Radar reports:

“It’s absolutely making Charlie crazy that the media keeps referring to Brett as a porn star, because she no longer is doing that. She recently graduated from nursing school,” an insider told Radar.
“Furthermore, her stage name is Brett Rossi, her legal name is Scottine Ross. He wants people to refer to her as Scotti, which is the name she goes by in her personal life. Charlie has told his publicist to tell media outlets to stop calling her a porn star.”

In Charlie Sheen’s defense, this is the woman he’s going to marry for love and not because she immediately wants a kid in her that guarantees her a house like Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards got. Haha! Where would you get that from? More »

Good Morning, Bo Osinski, And Other News

February 25th, 2014 // 10 Comments

- Brangelina might present at the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sam Worthington beat the shit out of the paparazzi. [Dlisted]

- Hell-the-fuck-lo, Caitlin Rice… [theCHIVE]

- Kaley Cuoco‘s husband is documenting his shits on Instagram. Oh, good. [Fishwrapper]

- The Desolation of Smug: Alec Baldwin And Piers Morgan Say Goodbye [The Daily Banter]

- Jimmy Kimmel knocked up his girlfriend. [tooFab]

- Here’s A Disturbing Real-Time List Of PornHub Searches [BuzzFeed]

- Taylor Swift‘s legs are ridiculous. [Popoholic]

- Lauren Mellor Is A Hottie You Need To Know [Hollywood Tuna]

- That’s Rita Ora‘s vagina. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Don’t Be Rollin’ Up on Justin #Bbare Talkin’ Bout No Plea Deal Like You Got Somethin’

February 24th, 2014 // 16 Comments
Can't Deport This
Justin Bieber TI
My, My, My,
Can't Deport This Read More »

It’s been a mothafuckin’ minute since I broke it off to you ’bout my boy Justin B-BARE, Canada’s original, harder den a Maple Leaf sons of anarchy who be racin’ dem honies and bangin’ dem cars, so let me brings you all up to speed on Da Hosin’ You With Dat Syrup One as he prepares to lay steez to Hotlanta and start his new umpire. Here’s where it gets technological: Ya see, da police want to offer my boy a plea deal where alls he gotta do is help some kids paint some rec center and drip his dangalang into a cup. Except Bbare has a counter-offer which I’ll shall now read from this memorex he sent me. Ahem-hem… FUCK YO FACE:

But the bigger issue is this — our sources say Bieber will NOT accept any plea that has probation … where the judge can throw the book at him if he screws up.
In particular there’s NO WAY Bieber will agree to random drug testing. Fact is … he has a problem with weed and sizzurp. If you don’t understand his worry, just remember Lindsay Lohan, who became a habitual probation offender for more than 7 years.

Let me all axe you somethin: Does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? I said, does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? THEN WHY YOU TRYIN’ TO SLAP HIS BIG OL’ TITTIES AROUND LIKE HIS ONE?! My boy ain’t givin’ out no blowjobs for a Pacific rate of no hundred G’s. CHECK YO’SELF.

Photos: Instagram / Fame/Flynet

This Is January Jones At 9-Years-Old

February 24th, 2014 // 27 Comments
Holy Shit, Is That A Smile?
January Jones Son Santa Claus
January Jones Is Having A Stroke, Call 911 Read More »

Because little boys are easily fooled by candy or people with weird noses who own their own amusement parks, they have no idea why making fun of their classmates’ appearance is stupid because here’s January Jones at nine years old who, iciness aside, grew up to be pretty fucking hot. But that’s not the amazing story here. The amazing story is that January Jones joined Instagram last month, and yet not a single photo on her account is of the child she birthed out of spite. There’s selfie after selfie of January, Jon Hamm, Rose Byrne, more selfies of January that actually make her look like an enjoyable, non-frost-based cyborg, and even a fake baby smoking a cigarette who’s apparently worth of her love, but no Xander. Although, it looks like there might be a shot of his dad. (Fuck you, I sat through Getaway.) Fortunately, the little bastard’s clearly aware of his plot in life and is already planning for the future: More »

Miley Cyrus Kissed Katy Perry

February 24th, 2014 // 30 Comments

Here’s Miley Cyrus kissing Katy Perry during her Bangerz show in Los Angeles Saturday night making this the most boring thing the two of them could’ve possibly done. You’ve got one pop star whose 98% labia, the other who’s an equal amount jugs and used to be married to a wheelchair fetishist, yet the best they could come up with was to kiss each other real quick then spazz out like they got cooties. It’s like that Christmas your parents cheaped out and got you Mega Bloks instead of LEGOs which, fun fact, is the true story behind “Jeremy.” Not many people know that.

Miley Cyrus Kissing Katy Perry Video After The Jump