Archive for the ‘Candid’ Category

Wait. Lindsay Lohan Is A Nanny?

August 26th, 2014 // 23 Comments
Lindsay's Being Lindsay
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Does Ice Bucket Challenge In Middle of A Club Read More »

“Call me Mrs. Crotchfire.”

I would’ve posted this sooner, but a gaping vagina and 18 server crashes will fuck a man’s schedule up, so here’s In Touch Weekly reporting that not only is Lindsay Lohan “dating” an investment banker, she’s also taking care of his kids who presumably don’t have a mother that loves them because she hasn’t tried to flee the country with them:

Lindsay helps the kids take baths. She really pitches in looking after them, and the girls really like her,” a second source tells the mag, adding that the actress is doing better than ever. “She’s finally in a mature relationship with a really grounded guy.”

So you know how everyone’s been freaking out lately about the over-militarization of local police forces? Hear me out: What if we gave all that shit to child services? Mainly wherever this guy lives. Who’s going to argue that? Besides libertarians. They’re a silly group.

Photos: Splash News

Good Morning, Natalia Proza, And Other News

August 26th, 2014 // 1 Comment

- Chris Martin is allowed to hear the words Angelina Jolie? That can’t be right. [Lainey Gossip]

- Religion is denying you Cersei‘s boobs. And maybe even mons pubis. This is HBO! [Dlisted]

- Wait. Are her breasts flying the plane? They can do that?! [theCHIVE]

- John Stamos took a nude selfie. [Fishwrapper]

- Rumer Willis seems less chinny. [WWTDD]

- Jesus Fucking Christ, Mila Kunis. [Popoholic]

- If giving someone Skittles count as fucking, then yes, JLo is back with Casper Smart. [Starpulse]

- True Blood ended if anyone still gives a shit. [tooFab]

- Alessandra Ambrosio is still in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]

- That is definitely a vagina. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Selena Gomez Has Breasts And Other News

August 25th, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Benedict Cumberbatch did the Ice Bucket Challenge naked. Go to him, Cumberbitches! [Lainey Gossip]

- Floyd Mayweather responded to 50 Cent with $72 million. [Dlisted]

- If you manage to scroll past the first pic, you’re goddamn Superman. [theCHIVE]

- The creepiest Wilmer Valderrama pic you’ll ever see in your life. [Fishwrapper]

- Jennifer Lopez will get married for a fourth time, but doesn’t “whore around.” Whatever you say. [The Frisky]

- There’s a second Human Barbie now. Of course. [WWTDD]

- Vanessa Hudgens in booty shorts. [Popoholic]

- Jesus Christ, Lucy Hale in Cosmo. [Starpulse]

- Ireland Baldwin brought Angel Haze to the VMAs. [tooFab]

- V. Stiviano says Donald Sterling is gay. Why not? [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Colleen Shannon? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kate Upton‘s breasts made $7 million last year. [Celebslam]

- Except we all should pay more attention to Genevieve Morton. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet

BREAKING: Ryan Seacrest Got Drunk Enough To Touch A Vagina

August 22nd, 2014 // 8 Comments

“You! Yeah… you, right there. Black dress, stupid strap thingy. You get Cowell on the line and you tell that bastard a bet’s a FUCKING bet. He didn’t think I could do it, well, you tell him I fucking did it. I fucking did it all by myself with my hands on the slimy thing and he fucking owes me one hundred fucking MILLION dollars. Or.. or.. c’mere. I wanna whisper in your fucking ear: A hairy motorboat between those giant man-tits. Emphasize that last part. Wink!” *pukes in champagne bucket*

Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI

Bruce Jenner And The Case of The Mysterious New Man-Titties

August 22nd, 2014 // 29 Comments

According to the photo agency we got these from, Bruce Jenner was allegedly going out of his way to make sure the front of his chest wasn’t photographed yesterday because he may or may not be blossoming into a beautiful woman, full-bodied and sensual. (h/t Eric Jonrosh) And if you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, tits, people. He’s growing tits. One of them’s opening the car door, for God’s sake.

Photos: Xposure/AKM-GSI

That’s Ashley Benson’s Naked Butt (Or Not)

August 22nd, 2014 // 9 Comments

We’ve already seen Ashley Benson topless, so here she is running around naked with Troian Bellisario in a new Instagram photo because apparently she doesn’t know people are suing over uncensored butthole these days. Or does that only count if there’s gaping birth canal? I tried to ask our lawyer, but he was too busy giving Chris Hansen directions to my hou- wait.

UPDATE: Apparently Ashley Benson took this pic from Pinterest because here’s her real butt: More »

Good Morning, Ola Jordan, And Other News

August 22nd, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Chris Pratt has reached Christian Bale-ian levels of awesome. [Lainey Gossip]

- Brooke Mueller made her assistant be a drug mule? That sounds exactly right. [Dlisted]

- Let’s Put Some Asian In The Equation [theCHIVE]

- LeAnn Rimes could be pregnant any second now. [Fishwrapper]

- Christian country music wants you to clean up after your man who’s basically a toddler. [The Frisky]

- Chelsea Handler‘s not bringing Chuy to Netflix. Has he tried sleeping with a powerful executive? [WWTDD]

- Jessica Hart does GQ. [Popoholic]

- Miley Cyrus is attending the VMAs, not performing, so you’ll still see her vagina. [Starpulse]

- Justin Bieber shaved his little pube mustache. [tooFab]

- Kristen Stewart did the Ice Bucket Challenge wrong. [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Erin Heatherton? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Cara Santana wears the hell out of a sports bra. [Celebslam]

- Mother of fucking God, Genevieve Morton basically topless. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Michelle Rodriguez & Zac Efron Broke Up

August 21st, 2014 // 15 Comments

And just as soon as it began, Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron‘s relationship is already over, so assume the whole thing went exactly like this: “Oh. Sniff. Hey. Sniff. Oh. You like coke? Sniff. Yeah. Cool. Sniff. Oh, shit, we’re fucking? Uh uh uh. Sniff. Yeah! Sniff. Backflips, yeah, backflips! Let’s do ‘em! WHOO! Sniff. Fuck. I gotta get back – sniff – and movie. Sniff. Hey, weren’t you that chick in Lost? Sniff. Hey. Alright. Sniff. Shit. Bye.”

(That literally works with either one of them saying it. I know. That’s the beauty of it.)

Photo: CIAO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News