Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.22.14

October 22nd, 2014 // 218 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, an installment I’m not particularly proud of considering it has both Nicky and Paris Hilton in it. If this post was me in college it would be jolting awake right now, rolling over, checking for a pulse, thanking God one more time, and drunkenly finding its way home.

Nope, there’s no more links. There’s only sadness now,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Shia LaBeouf’s A Metamodernist Christian Now

October 22nd, 2014 // 15 Comments
Remember That Plagiarism?
Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Lawless Screening
That Was Ironic Performance Art. Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

If you’re wondering what the fuck that headline means, let me get the answer right out of the way. Nothing. It means absolutely nothing other than it’s one of the rambling, navel-gazing responses Shia LaBeouf mouth-farted to Interview Magazine during what felt like an endless diatribe on art, life, and how acting is dying in front of an audience? (Sadly, not literally.)

Since the 14th century there’s been this martyrdom in art, Jesus on a cross, the Apostles being boiled in oil. But that also exists in cinema—martyrdom. Theater is about dying, about doing it so that other people don’t have to. I’m showing up with a set of problems, and I hope that they die when I’m done.

So okay, I understand how looking at a painting of Jesus on a cross reminds you how you’ll never get to bang Megan Fox again, because looking at anything should be reminding you of that, but what exactly does Christianity have to do with being an uncontrollable, drunk rage monster? More »

Good Morning, Maitland Ward, And Other News

October 22nd, 2014 // 52 Comments

- Selena Gomez might be banging Orlando Bloom again. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Phillippe: “I’ve only made five good movies.” [Dlisted]

- Presenting The Internet’s Booty Hall of Fame [theCHIVE]

- Dean McDermott used to jerk off to Tori Spelling when she was on 90210. [Fishwrapper]

- Adobe sides with #GamerGate because the poor wiener children are being “bullied.” [The Frisky]

- Oscar Pistorius will basically spend 10 months in prison. If that. [WWTDD]

- Your Hypnotic Ass GIF of The Day [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- Buzzfeed is the most distrusted media outlet. [Death and Taxes]

- Keeley Hazell is still hot. [Popoholic]

- Renee Zellweger responds to Internet: “I’m healthy.” [tooFab]

- Cora Skinner in lingerie. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Cailin Russo is topless again. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.21.14

October 21st, 2014 // 344 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the rest of the people who had their boobs and butts out, or were shit-faced drunk like Michelle Rodriguez at that Angel Ball thing. And fat Busta Rhymes. We’ve also got Jared Leto signaling to Terry Richardson that the ecstasy is kicking in and Kanye West coaching one of the greatest football teams of all time.

[Insert Khloe Kardashian linebacker joke I don't know enough about sports to write myself here],

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Tori Spelling ‘Quarantined Like An Ebola Patient’

October 21st, 2014 // 19 Comments

She’s probably pregnant again, so why buy new pics? JOURNALISM!

Tori Spelling lives thousands of miles away from anyone with the Ebola virus, and I’m pretty confident she’s not walking around letting random strangers shit and bleed in her hands. On top of that, she has a gaping hole in her chest that wards off evil which is the only possible explanation I could come up with for its presence. So why the hell she was quarantined for Ebola is anybody’s guess. TMZ reports:

Tori Spelling had several of the symptoms, and got treated like an Ebola patient this weekend when she was hospitalized with a bunch of illnesses … TMZ has learned.
Sources tell us Tori was running a fever, coughing uncontrollably, and having trouble breathing … when she was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. We’re told Tori was quarantined from other patients, and medical staff took precautions while treating her.

In related news, Tori has another season of her reality show coming up, and apparently, “Hey, I let my fake-cheating husband knock me up again,” wasn’t testing as high as, “What if she bled to death from the nose and mouth?” Which is honestly a decent hook. Do they need funding?

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Photo: Fame, INFdaily, Splash News

Did Tyga Put A Baby In Kylie Jenner?

October 21st, 2014 // 26 Comments
Nothing Alarming Here
Kylie Jenner Tyga
Just A Teenager Dating A 25-Year-Old Rapper Read More »

As more and more evidence points to Tyga dating Kylie Jenner, his Instagram followers have decided to call him a pedophile for dating a 17-year old, but apparently they just a jealous ass ho who wish he’d put a baby in them. Like he did with Kylie? Wait. Via Fishwrapper:

“why u sound so hateful. U don’t know s–t bout my life but the fake s–t u read online. Worry about your sad boring life. U wish u can have a baby by a n—- like me and live this lifestyle. let me guess no one wants u or ever attempted to spoil u and give u the world like I do for mines. Your ugly not just physically but in your soul. Never speak on on my son.”

Supposedly, he’s talking about the son he was with Blac Chyna, but these are the Kardashians we’re talking about, so it’s not like they wouldn’t jump at the chance to birth some more rappers’ babies. Or “retirement funds” as Kris calls them. “Don’t forget to put a 401k in your ham wallet!” she probably says before sending Kylie off to school. (I’m kidding, that’s the maid’s job.)

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Photo: Instagram

Blake Lively’s Pregnant Body Won The Angel Ball

October 21st, 2014 // 14 Comments

Normally, pregnancy is God’s way of cursing woman for using their filthy vagina holes for sex, but sometimes it can result a in beautiful transformation instead of the Beast of the Apocalypse. And such is the case with Blake Lively who took time away from running a website full of plagiarism and the hottest slaveowner fashions to look goddamn remarkable at whatever the hell the Angel Ball is. There are women without a parasite living inside of them who don’t look this good. It’s changed everything I thought I knew about the female body.

ALTERNATE POST FOR HILARY DUFF:

Your butt’s prettier. Let’s get married! *pulls out diamond ring, waits for it…*

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / AKM-GSI, Splash News

I’m Told This Is Renee Zellweger

October 21st, 2014 // 74 Comments

If someone asked me to describe Renee Zellweger for a police sketch artist, the first words out of my mouth would be, “Lemons. She ate all the lemons.” From there, I’d go into extensive detail about squinting, so let’s cut the shit, who’s this impostor? I’m looking at your entire eye, woman. Reveal yourself!

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Photos: Getty, Splash News

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