Carmen and Scarlett, Sittin In A Tree…
I have a quote here for you. It’s not a very good one. In fact, it is a very bad one, and really just a bad story overall. But there’s a reason for it, so keep your pants on. Carmen Electra apparently has a crush on Scarlett Johansson and said about her:
“She’s hot. Her sexiness is totally appreciated by girls like me.”
Everyone loves hearing about girls digging on other girls – it brings out the closet pervert in all of us. But I’ve read about a million stories like this, and I’m tempted not to read another until they stop teasing us and get with the panty-flying nakedness already. This, I think, is a basic difference between men and women. If a woman (say, I don’t know, Carmen Electra) says that Scarlett Johansson is hot and has a great body, it means about as much as saying she likes ponies or rainbows or rainbow-colored ponies or pony rainbows. If a man (say, I don’t know, me) says that Scarlett Johansson is hot and has a great body, it means I have 26 hours of Scarlett-Johnasson themed porn on my computer. It means I’ve set aside a special pair of latex underwear so that I’ll be ready when (when, not if) I finally get her in the sack. It may or may not mean I dress up in a little skirt and pretend I actually am Scarlett Johansson. Hmm, you may just want to forget that last one.