‘Captain America’ Had a Premiere

July 20th, 2011 // 60 Comments

Captain America, or Captain America: The First Avenger, as absolutely no one is calling it, had its Los Angeles premiere last night and has already won over curmudgeony film critic Jeff Wells who openly dreams of “strafing fanboys” at Comic-Con. So, until I get my review up on Friday because I’m just a simple dick joke peddler left to fend for himself on these mean Internet streets – *adjusts cardboard underwear* – here’s a bunch of Hollywood types on the red carpet including Iron Man, Thor, Black Nick Fury and this chick who has really large breasts that explain all the rave reviews. “While I found the characters loquacious and pedantic, the juxtaposition of them titties make this a cinema tour de force of feel-good patriotism and dashing derring-do bouncin’ all up in my hizzy,” is something that Roger Ebert now wishes he wrote. (I drink your milkshake!)

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice phallic symbol pointing out where to insert your penis

  2. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad for Chris, he’s wearing Boob-Blocker sunglasses

  3. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    MD2020
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re some titties.

  4. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Carl
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayley Atwell is gorgeous. Loved her in the Pillars of the Earth mini-series. Those boobs are for me??

  5. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot.

  6. Richard McBeef

    I would like to see those boobies make a semen studded premiere in the back alley behind that theater.

  7. Verily

    Goblin’s ears, Maiden’s breasts

  8. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    taz
    Commented on this photo:

    whats with the stupid hooker stilt shoes?

  9. alex

    I’m surprisingly excited to read your review. I’m seeing this one either way but I’m still looking forward to your opinion.

    So far (in previews) the Red Skull looks a million times better than every previous attempt…and if the Skull doesn’t look good, the entire movie becomes a joke…so I’m optimistic.

  10. after wes cage and drunken mel, the avg superhero’s just anticlimactic now. surely cage n mel could be cast with say reese w (who has a wicked ‘chinishing move’) and idk chris brown, and they can defend the honor or some shit somewhere. bet me that wouldn’t be more interesting

  11. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    guy rossi
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what’s bigger, her tits or her chin.

    Her chin, but I’m staring at her titsI don’t know what’s bigger, her tits

  12. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    The Train!
    Commented on this photo:

    who is she?

  13. Bwa??

    I hate Chris Evans’ upside down smile. Just showing your teeth does not equal smiling, sir.

  14. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some magnificent boobs

  15. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Freaky
    Commented on this photo:

    Me likey big boobs. MOAR!

  16. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    DKNY
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the hottest redheads out there. Her hotness is under-appreciated.

  17. Here’s my review: I like her boobs and am looking at them here. Just saved $12 on that movie.

  18. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    not sure what to make of the nose situation

  19. cc

    Sharon Osbourne and Neve Campbell had a lovechild? How is that possible?

  20. ZigZagZoey

    Could he possibly look LESS like a superhero????? Yuck.

  21. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Noob Saibot
    Commented on this photo:

    Raiden………… wins.

  22. Bitch was in that Starz minseries, “The Pillars of the Earth”, & she put dem tetons on display.

    NSFW Link:
    http://www.zodcaps.com/moviepics/h/hayley_atwell_%28the_pillars_of_the_earth-s1e8%29720hd-das.jpg

  23. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    God
    Commented on this photo:

    Bless those!

  24. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Noob Saibot
    Commented on this photo:

    Raiden……. won

  25. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    God
    Commented on this photo:

    Hotter than the Mexican broad she looks like

  26. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Who told him to wear these dumbass glasses?

  27. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Hey now
    Commented on this photo:

    She gets naked in “The Pillars of the Earth.” Beautifully, wonderfully, breastactically naked.

  28. ‘Captain Canada’ Had a maple-bar.

  29. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    St. Jezebel
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a bad Madame Tussauds wax version of a young Jack Nicholson.

  30. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Johnny Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony Stark was able to make this movie in cave! With a bunch of scraps!

  31. Did they make those glasses out of the shield?

  32. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    abbbby
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is so, ridiculously Good Looking. He could make an entire career out of being….. wait a minute.

  33. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    SonicAlligator
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the sexiest mans ever. Ever ever ever. But he needs his beardy-scruff back. Boo on shaved faces say I!

  34. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Shellibellie
    Commented on this photo:

    GOd he is so f****ing hot. Loved him as Thor’

  35. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    u know what that guy is thinking back there…..

  36. Colin

    He knows he doesn’t have to put on the 3D glasses until he’s in the theater, right?

  37. Jovy

    Legolas has some massive tits.

  38. Shooter

    He might be color blind but, god bless him, can still spot awesome titties in a green dress. Wait, make that a gray dress. Oh who give a shit. Nice boobies.

  39. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, Thor, we need to move it along. There’s not enough room for both you and Hayley Atwell’s breasts in the same shot.”

  40. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the woman holding up the photo in the background? Is she shouting “Justice for Matt Salinger”?

  41. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    Bend’r Over…..Bend’r Over…..Bend’r Over Smack’r Ass and do it again!

  42. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    do her feet even fit in those boats?

  43. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d take to those titties like Rocky to a speedbag!

  44. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    So, going by these pics, it looks like 6 celebs showed up for this one!

  45. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew Jaws had a great rack?!

  46. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet another hollywood midget.

  47. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    May Britain always stand proud and tall. And turgid.

  48. Captain America: The First Avenger Premiere
    Jonus
    Commented on this photo:

    The new face of Just For Men

Leave A Comment