Robert Downey Jr.’s In ‘Captain America 3′ Now

“Hey, do I look retarded in this new suit?”
“Yup.”
“You jerk! THIS MEANS CIVIL WAR.” – Exactly how that happens, trust me

Last week, Robert Downey Jr. spent an odd amount of time openly confirming and then un-confirming Iron Man 4. Turns out he’s really starring in Captain America 3 which might as well be called Iron Man 4 because Chris Evans is basically a prop to shoot quips and rocket things at now. Variety reports:

The new pact is significant for the Marvel cinematic universe considering the plot will pit Stark against Captain America’s alter-ego Steve Rogers, played by Chris Evans, as they feud over the Superhero Registration Act, which forces anyone with superhuman abilities to reveal their identities to the U.S. government and agree to act as a police force for the authorities.
Stark supports the program, but Rogers does not, saying it threatens civil liberties, causing sides to be taken and Rogers, among others, to go on the run to avoid arrest. The moral question and battle with his Avengers teammate essentially makes Stark a villain of sorts in “Captain America 3,” providing Downey with a meaty role he could play out into future Marvel films, including a fourth “Avengers.”

If you stuck your penis in a vagina, you’re probably wondering why every nerd around you is hyperventilating, and that’s because that’s Marvel’s Civil War they’re talking about. Which almost didn’t happen thanks to Marvel CEO Ike Perlmutter continuing his scorched earth campaign against anyone who dare defy him including the company’s Golden Goose:

Originally, Marvel wanted to hire Downey for a small role, which would have required just three weeks of work. But Downey wanted Stark to have a more substantial role in the film’s plot, which would give him more screen time and naturally a bigger payday. This angered Marvel Entertainment chief Ike Perlmutter, who ordered the screenwriters to write Iron Man out of the script entirely, according to sources with knowledge of the situation.

Keep in mind, Disney will suck all the dicks to keep these movies going – specifically ones starring Robert Downey Jr. which are statistically proven to out perform ones without him (unless they have raccoons with machine guns) – and yet the CEO of Marvel is throwing hissy fits when Iron Man basically offers to make everybody a shitload more money. Then again, Ike Perlmutter is Jewish and may have already got the Mel Gibson pitch.

“So, Mel? Can I call you Mel? I read your script and just have a few questions about the villain: It says here his power suit runs on gold coins and the blood of infants? Also it’s ‘Hooknose spear’ can hurtle through time and kill Jesus? Am I reading that right?”
“I was also thinking, for the kids, that its action figure could stab whores while bending them over.”
“Get out of my office.”
“I’LL BURN DOWN MAGIC MOUNTAIN!”
“No, you won’t.”
“You will… blow me?”
“Not happening either.”
“Damn, those were all my moves. Gentlemen.”

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