Candice Swanepoel helped launch the new Incredible Bra by Victoria’s Secret yesterday, and I honestly don’t know what to say here without turning the site into AnalAvenger.com six months ahead of schedule. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to just quietly sit here muttering “humina humina humina” before biting my fist. *chomp*
That did absolutely nothing. You’ve deceived me again, television!
Photos: Splash News
 |
Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
 Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Adam Levine Signs 'Glee' Guy to New Label, Poses For Terry Richardson (PHOTOS) |
Relationship Expert on Halle Berry's Reported Move: It's About Being Selfless, Not Selfish (PHOTOS) |
Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
Lady Gaga's Tattooed 'Born This Way' Costar Reveals 'Top Secret' Project with Singer |
Lindsay Lohan's Platinum Blonde Locks: Yay or Nay? (PHOTOS) |
John | August 11, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Wow! Nice. Last.
CARLO | August 12, 2010 at 10:03 am
god damn!!! I love this girl. I know nothing about her…Just that she is smokin and has a delicious ass
Mary Jane | August 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm
No idea who this chick is …… AMAzing ass.
Anexio | August 12, 2010 at 10:49 am
http://royalgirls.com/2009/06/02/candice-swanepoel-glamour-photos/
Mr. Nice Guy | August 12, 2010 at 11:01 am
Anexio please remove the link. She is a 10 like this, a 5 nude.
Snooki's Taint | August 12, 2010 at 11:30 am
Nice guy. Please post pictures of a girl, any girl with whom you have had relations who is hotter than this woman. include her holding a copy of this post so we can see you didn’t just go to some random porn site to get your pretend high standards.
Beav | August 12, 2010 at 11:34 am
Mr. Nice guy is a twelve year old girl.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm
yay candice–eks lief vir jou :)) x
Vito | August 11, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Jou mus spik Engrish onry!
Mary Jane | August 12, 2010 at 1:21 pm
……..HUH?
oooaaahhh | August 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Hold your cards, we have a winner!!
Cash | August 11, 2010 at 4:07 pm
What else is there to say, other then “Sweet Mother of God, look at that ass! Suck it, Kim Kar-flabian!”
Puddin' Taine | August 11, 2010 at 4:14 pm
+1 for what Cash said. Damn… just, wow
Taz | August 11, 2010 at 4:28 pm
+1
FrankNfrtr | August 11, 2010 at 4:08 pm
She’s pretty.
This post will likely bring out the ass munchers like chum in the water brings sharks.
Deacon Jones | August 11, 2010 at 4:09 pm
If I saw her looking like that (pic 8) in person, I would seriously attempt to rape her on the spot, no matter how many people were standing there. That’s how hot she is.
FrankNfrtr | August 11, 2010 at 4:20 pm
You might have better luck & fewer legal fees if you offered to buy her a drink first.
Deacon Jones | August 11, 2010 at 4:22 pm
I wouldnt have the patience. Immediate gratification.
bitingontinfoil | August 12, 2010 at 9:29 am
…or a condo
Mr. Nice Guy | August 11, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Deacon I will have to take your word in picture #8, I stopped on #5 in fear of no women EVER being good enough.
By the way use a different example, rape is always wrong.
Deacon Jones | August 12, 2010 at 8:54 am
Passive coercion?
Marcus | August 11, 2010 at 6:15 pm
make sure to get pictures!!
bitingontinfoil | August 12, 2010 at 9:31 am
…and who said chivalry was dead?
GUY | August 11, 2010 at 4:11 pm
She is a beautiful girl. Nice butt too! Her thighs are too skinny and unshapely for my taste. She needs to get more protien in her diet and workout to fix those rubber pencil legs.
Oh! and 20th! bitches!!!!!!
dudeatdudedotdude | August 11, 2010 at 4:24 pm
what???? omg she’s a ten if ever there’s one. and no one’s ur bitch, guy (am not ur guy, buddeh! am not ur buddeh, fwiend! am not ur fwiend, guy…..)
Mr. Nice Guy | August 11, 2010 at 9:03 pm
She is a 10. You are clearly a GAY GUY.
GUY | August 12, 2010 at 11:05 am
Nah, i like meat, not veggies.
Like i said, beautiful girl but i would be affraind of snapping her legs in half when i bone the shit outta her. I like to give it rough and i doubt she could handle it. I dont think she’d ever give it up to me though as i am no millionaire with a 10incher (normal 6″ but is thicker than normal).
I am not a fan of this THIN is in shit. She probably eats 1 cracker a day.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 12, 2010 at 3:08 pm
if you were say 5’9 and 155# wet, you’d think think was in too….
GUY | August 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Wow. I’m 5’10″ 170lbs (9% body fat) so no i am not that small.
But still, just 2yrs ago when i was 21 i was same hieght but was 155lbs and still didnt think thin was in. Id take Christina Hendricks over this girl anyday.
Turd Ferguson | August 11, 2010 at 4:32 pm
whoa!
Delicious.
tad Bit Tipsy | August 11, 2010 at 4:38 pm
She must be in the army…. cause that’s some MAJOR ASS!!!
Rough, the new blaq | August 11, 2010 at 4:53 pm
And the profounding words of the Great one…
OOh, how sweet it is…
Internet | August 11, 2010 at 4:59 pm
She has the SAME EXACT ass as my girlfriend.
truth | August 11, 2010 at 10:45 pm
you have the same exact penis as my two year old son
Chris Hansen | August 12, 2010 at 9:21 am
you need to stay away from your 2 year-old son’s penis.
Rough, the new blaq | August 11, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Edit:
And in the…
dudeatdudedotdude | August 11, 2010 at 5:38 pm
…end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
P’ce out
jkhjkh | August 11, 2010 at 5:46 pm
look at pic #5 (the black fabric to the right of the blue is still part of her body–its like an optical illusion). she doesnt have the best waist to hip ratio. her ass looks good at an angle, but her waist wider than it should be for a butt that size. definitely cute though.
Alli Watermelon | August 11, 2010 at 10:39 pm
SERIOUSLY? I mean, SERIOUSLY? You have got to be kidding me. Do I even have to explain to you why you’re an idiot and absolutely ridiculous?
jumpin_j | August 11, 2010 at 6:00 pm
For a story about a bra, why are we seeing her butt? CONTEXT PEOPLE, CONTEXT!!!
Jen | August 12, 2010 at 10:21 am
bra?
emily | August 11, 2010 at 6:55 pm
I honestly feel depressed. I’ve been trying for years on end to look as hot as these chicks do. Depriving myself constantly, excercising hours a day. I don’t look like her and never ever will. It sucks. I need to quit coming to this site because I feel like shit everytime and I feel like “Damn, these men criticize the crap out of woman than I’m not even half as attractive as.” I used to think I was pretty. Time to stop the madness.
FrankNfrtr | August 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm
You stop that shit right now.
You are fabulous.
These women are genetics freaks. There is nothing wrong with you.
Get off the computer and enjoy the summer.
emily | August 11, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Thanks!!! That was quite nice and I appreciate it :) I’m gonna do that. I think I’m gonna stop visiting this site too.
Alli Watermelon | August 11, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Or maybe you could quit crying for attention, FFS.
you're all retarded | August 12, 2010 at 4:46 am
cheer up emily.. while we all oggle and then ultimately nitpick the supermodels on the interwebs, we still love to come home to girls like you at the end of the day. you’re the consistently reliable ones that we all really want.
mr miyagi | August 12, 2010 at 8:27 am
emily-san its not madness to keep in shape :) im sure jesus hearts you
anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 9:23 am
keep trying. even if you all short of your goal, you’ll still look better tomorrow than if you gave up today
Jen | August 12, 2010 at 10:25 am
emily, you should have more self confidence about yourself. I work out for hours a day and stick to a diet. you are HOT, GIRLFRIEND! i am proud to say that my turd cutter is right up there with Candice’s (maybe not, but i think so, thats all that matters)
ClassyDirtyChick | August 12, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Emily, sometimes we nitpick the supermodels because they are genetic freaks, and earn thousands and thousands of pounds and live varied, interesting and sometimes exciting lives.
Where is most of us have to work our ass off at work!!!!, and then work our ass off at the gym!!!, and don’t come home to thousands of pounds in the bank. So HELL YES they are going to get the Nit Picked like crazy, join in honey, it’s a wonderful release!!!!
emily | August 11, 2010 at 6:56 pm
“…women that…” I meant
Randal | August 11, 2010 at 8:42 pm
We are all essentially the same Emily, just muscle and bone. Our society currently rewards those with unique physical charateristics more flagrantly than those with creative potential. This site, like many, uses those that are considered good looking to promote products which we all buy. There is nothing wrong with this site, it’s owner makes us all laugh occasionaly and that’s fun.
Emily the only mistake you made was spending years of your life trying to get the approval of others. Others that may be too distracted to see how beautiful you are. There could be many reason why someone other than you got the cover shoot of a magazine, not all of them were because of how attractive you are. At the end of it all we really have is how feel about ourselves. Imagine for a moment Emily the young girls, just 16 years old, think of how at times they hate themselves for not being thinner. These young girls may even already be models but they hate who they are. Isn’t that sad, Emily? Emily I hope you consider finding someone who loves you for you are and not what you look like. I hope you begin to see the whole world differently some day.
Vito | August 11, 2010 at 9:04 pm
Thank you, Obi Wan Kenobi.
testington | August 11, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Wow must be a really shitty bra if the model is wearing a high collar shirt and refuses to turn her chest to the camera
FrankNfrtr | August 11, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Excellent point.
monkeyfightclub | August 11, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Did you see all the pictures, detective?
havefunemily | August 11, 2010 at 8:30 pm
emily, don’t let this media crap get to you. The comments are all for fun. Men are not that unrealistically picky in real life (except for a few immature).. People come here just to appreciate perfection like anyone else.
1) the younger women have been selected and filtered to be advertised. It’s like the NBA / NFL for women. How does the average man compare to an athlete/model/actor ?
2) these women spend 24/7 taking care just of their bodies, clothes, etcs.. nothing else!
3) the older or “old news” women, have been photoshopped to death to keep them in the running.
4) Look your best and more important have a personality. Women with nothing interesting to say get boring after about two weeks.
anonym | August 11, 2010 at 8:30 pm
she can use my face as a seat cushion
Vito | August 11, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and conclude that, Photoshop, make-up, and plastic surgery aside, there really is a human being on this earth as fucking gorgeous as this goddess. I’d walk 5 miles barefoot in snow just so I could stand in her shit.**sigh**
Parker | August 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm
I want to be her anal avenger. I don’t know what the job involves but if her ass has anything to do with it count me in.
Vito | August 11, 2010 at 9:24 pm
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hollyhotty.com/imhost/images/500_06372_Candice_Swanepoel133_123.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hollyhotty.com/%3Fp%3D1952&usg=__iaFC-opVOapoCuCc7I3NCfWXumY=&h=2100&w=1785&sz=644&hl=en&start=9&sig2=NFH3uB7mNWRFB7vUPiEbfQ&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=htqD0wZpMUgzKM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCandice%2BSwanepoel%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=QUxjTNmxF9aSjAf_jM35CA
Sorry this url is so long, but I kid you not…this picture of Candice is larger than life size and so clear you can count the freckles between her tits!
Vito | August 11, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Good lord, that’s ridiculous. Try this one instead…
http://www.hollyhotty.com/?p=1952
dudeatdudedotdude | August 12, 2010 at 9:42 am
Good stuff Vito!!! :))
Marcus | August 14, 2010 at 6:37 pm
It’s like, it’s real…. really real !!
Jim | August 11, 2010 at 9:46 pm
How come everyone has to look and act like a skanky slut? There’s no real talent any more in this country. Just a bunch of trashy whores trying to be “models” and “actresses.”
Mr. Nice Guy | August 12, 2010 at 12:25 am
WTF, she is a Model. Take your prude ass to some other website asshole.
FYI, we love sluts, just like your Father. He feel in love with your Mother when she acted like a skanky slut. That is how you got here asshole.
bitingontinfoil | August 12, 2010 at 9:38 am
For the simple fact that their only talent is shaking their (relatively) nice ass and implated boobs.
The fact that most men are about as deep as a puddle and think mostly with their penis doesn’t hurt either.
Grace | August 11, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Wow, I’m with ya, Emily. And I’m surprised to see the honest responses from men here, too.
Jill | August 11, 2010 at 10:10 pm
+100
Becky | August 12, 2010 at 9:20 am
me too
Rough, the new blaq | August 12, 2010 at 10:05 am
I am all for the smoke blowing, and kumbaya response of our sweet posters on the Superficial to the “Emily” girl. It’s also important to be aware of how people around you treat you because of a pimple on your face. Human is nasty by nature, unless they want to prove otherwise to their neighbors or if they see a camera near by. My advice is being you, always. Plus learn how to be a girl, smile a lot, and if you’re not beating them off with a two by four, stick with your academics. Some have to pay the bills….
WhitePussyLover | August 11, 2010 at 10:28 pm
man would i like to run my tongue through that ass a time or 20
Alli Watermelon | August 11, 2010 at 10:42 pm
This girl makes me SICK. Like…in a good way haha
Da Troooooof | August 11, 2010 at 11:55 pm
She isn’t so great, do your thang Emily I’m sure you are gorgeous!!!
Alli Watermelon | August 12, 2010 at 4:41 pm
You know how I know you’re gay..?
captain america | August 12, 2010 at 12:27 am
………………DREAM ON!!
temp | August 12, 2010 at 2:36 am
i honestly couldn’t nitpick anything about this girl – she’s so gaaaaaawrgeous. *lady swoon
to the person who was criticizing her body ratios/proportions – REALLY? really now? i guess in some ways it’s appropriate because she’s a supermodel and they probably strive for perfection, but that’s just a bit far. she’s as close to it as you can get!
Garry | August 12, 2010 at 4:29 am
Wow………. Candice is a perfect 10, the one that will be remembered years from now, along with Adriana Lima and (maybe) Selita Ebanks.
On the other hand Moronda Kerr will be forgotten very fast….. nobody remembers chicks ugly as hell (careful with the following link, especially if you suffer from heart condition LOL).
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=miranda_kerr_lingirie_logo_4_big&title=Miranda%20Kerr%20Lingerie%20Pictures
Dude | August 12, 2010 at 7:45 am
Selita Ebanks? Isn’t that the black chick? Eww. Miranda, Candice, and Adriana are the hottest models out there.
B. | August 12, 2010 at 9:55 am
Yes, Selita is the very beautiful and sexy black chick.
Miranda is the one that looks like a troll who was hit in the face with a frying pan and whose jowls are bigger than her tits.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 12, 2010 at 10:21 am
fwiw id rather have banner contestant jillian than candace. candice would be taller than me in heels. jillian would still have to look up a little :)
to any and all emilys in here, if you take anything from this site it should be that the MORE outwardly beautiful you are, the more you’ll be treated like shit by other women and by gay men. who frankly dont matter in your mating game (well unless you’re a dyke or fag hag). but considering all the total fugs out there who are married with children that should tell you that real men are not nearly as superficial as women when it comes to judging the fairer sex. flash a smile in the supermarket, you’ll find more sincerity there.
toocutequinn | August 15, 2010 at 4:05 am
What’s wrong with this picture? Sure, it’s an un-airbrushed close-up, but how many of us would look waaaaaay worse under those circumstances?! I think if they had reputations for being supreme bitches, I’d think they were uglier, but they seem nice and they’re pretty, so I don’t get all the criticism!
Ninny | August 12, 2010 at 6:47 am
So, where’s the bra?
healthboy | August 12, 2010 at 7:57 am
It is very usefull information for every one.
http://www.gemsdrugstore.com/
They Call Me The Butthole Kid | August 12, 2010 at 8:14 am
Ahh, shamelessly posing in a one-piece, hot pants suit. Models have no class. Plus, this girls ass is actually quite flat. She is just giving the illusion that it is big by sticking it out and curving her back. Look at other pictures on the web of her. She has absolutely no ass.
anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 9:24 am
go back to fapping to fatties
dudeatdudedotdude | August 12, 2010 at 10:24 am
butthole kid lemme guess–you’re a bottom..
Jen | August 12, 2010 at 11:24 am
dude…NICE! lol
bitingontinfoil | August 12, 2010 at 9:32 am
Wow, unfortunately, this site has gone waaaaaaaay downhill as of late. Lucky to have it updated once a day and the captions are seeming rather forced and, well, just not *funny*. Too bad.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 12, 2010 at 9:42 am
69th suckas!
TS | August 12, 2010 at 2:42 pm
That is possibly the best ass on the planet. One of the hottest chicks I have ever seen.
reality | August 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm
she’s taking Megan fox’s place…
galtor | August 13, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Nice ass, but a troll face.
Me | August 14, 2010 at 5:05 am
Troll-face = copy right for Moronda Kerr.
toocutequinn | August 15, 2010 at 4:01 am
I’m a girl, and I don’t know much about Candice Swanepoel, but I thought those nude photos were fantastic! She was so proportionate, just a lovely shape. Very uniquely beautiful. You can’t be jealous when someone is just that pretty.