Can you read this?

August 21st, 2006 // 142 Comments

Because if you can it means you’re on our new server. Hopefully this one will manage to survive more than a couple of months before it’s crushed by the sheer weight of our awesomeness.

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Comments (142)

  1. CelebSlam.com | August 21, 2006 at 7:00 am

    My repeated commenting must have crashed the server. It’s not the first time.

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  2. tintin | August 21, 2006 at 7:01 am

    i see it

    Reply
  3. Cruzadas | August 21, 2006 at 7:05 am

    ok, place your bets for the first celeb gossip in the new server. I place my bet on Lindsay “swimsuit” Lohan.

    Reply
  4. rolson | August 21, 2006 at 7:32 am

    I am voting for Jessica Simpson.

    Reply
  5. catmando | August 21, 2006 at 7:32 am

    i can’t see the new server :(

    Reply
  6. griffmills | August 21, 2006 at 7:38 am

    Okay, new server is here…let’s get on with it!! I want side-view of Lohan’s cans, Paris’s armpits, and K-Fed and Britney being their hillbilly selves!
    That’s what I come to expect and deserve!

    Reply
  7. RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 7:42 am

    I’d like to crush Beyonce with the sheer weight of my awesomeness…

    Reply
  8. sea | August 21, 2006 at 8:46 am

    i can see it. My vote is on that loser of a husband and wannabe hip-hop artist, Kevin Federline!!…

    Reply
  9. RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 8:46 am

    #3 – I wouldn’t mind if it was Lindsey “crackwhore” Lohan either. I hear she’s like Barbie with all of the interchangable outfits and accessories (paraphernalia sold separately). When you squeeze her tit, Malibu Lohan actually makes cum gargling/ spitting noises from what I hear…. it should be a hot item for Christmas this year, so pre-order.

    Reply
  10. xavierh | August 21, 2006 at 10:01 am

    I can’t read it because…because I CAN’T READ!!!

    Reply
  11. frenchtoaststix | August 21, 2006 at 10:18 am

    My guesses for what happened to the server:

    1.Star Jones sat on it.
    2.Lindsey Lohan tried to snort it.
    3.Lance Bass came out to it.
    4.Mel Gibson called it “Sugartits.”
    5.TomKat claimed it as their alien spawn.
    6.Paris Hilton gave it herpes.
    7.Big Gay Al tried to bone it.
    8. Pam Anderson smothered it with her freakishly ginormous fake hooters.
    9. Dick Cheney accidentally shot it.
    10. John Mark Karr strangled it and claimed it was an “accident” but he still loves it.

    Reply
  12. danielle | August 21, 2006 at 10:35 am

    these comments make no sense whatsoever.

    Reply
  13. Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 21, 2006 at 10:48 am

    My guess as to what happened to the server…DanYELL blew it up with her obnoxious commenting in caps.

    Reply
  14. Sarah-Jean | August 21, 2006 at 11:06 am

    I can see it!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  15. danielle | August 21, 2006 at 11:10 am

    yes. or maybe BEAVER’s BO traveled through the system, and caused the whole thing to collapse under the pressure of her skankyness.

    Reply
  16. RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 11:16 am

    damnYELL’s back!!! damnYELL’s back!!!

    Let the funny begin!

    Reply
  17. 10pennypixel.com | August 21, 2006 at 11:16 am

    A life without Superficial updates is a lonely, shallow life indeed.

    http://www.10pennypixel.com

    Reply
  18. Sassy | August 21, 2006 at 11:20 am

    It must have been my blinding beauty that crashed your server. Gosh, I’m so sorry. I won’t let it happen again.

    Reply
  19. danielle | August 21, 2006 at 11:24 am

    ahhh. richport. you seriously, woul dbe like, my best friend if i ever met you….blindfolded…drugged…and…deaf.

    Reply
  20. RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 11:33 am

    #18 – your blinding beauty? Then you must be the polar opposite of #19, in fact, that makes you the anti-YELL.

    Reply
  21. danielle | August 21, 2006 at 11:38 am

    or the exact twin of richport, of course you’d have to be on crack because that thing is sooooo ugly, the mirror breaks every time it comes into contact with it.

    “it” being richport , of course.

    Reply
  22. Pilaf | August 21, 2006 at 11:48 am

    celeb pics fun in the meantime is up at the SP sister site… peace out! http://www.savingfaceforum.com/index.php?showforum=49

    Reply
  23. Ron K | August 21, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    Here’s the next story for the SF guy:

    http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/21/people.parishilton.ap/index.html

    “Paris” the album was set for release Tuesday. Hilton’s breathy, reggae-infused single, “Stars Are Blind,” has climbed to the top of Billboard’s dance music chart.

    What the hell is the world coming to?!?!?

    Reply
  24. Mooserepellant | August 21, 2006 at 12:25 pm

    I can certainly read it here in Seattle. glad you got it all fixed!

    Reply
  25. Dragulf | August 21, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    I see dead servers! wait…

    Reply
  26. notmeganharris | August 21, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    If yu kan red this thank a teechr.

    Reply
  27. RenoScarab | August 21, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    I can not read this. Not because the server is hosed, but because, sadly, I can’t read at all. In fact, I have no idea how I am even able to type this.

    Where am I?

    Hey, you kids get off my grass!

    Reply
  28. StanGable | August 21, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    head on. apply directly to the forehead.

    Reply
  29. Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 21, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    All I can see is a humongous penis wearing lime green speedos and vomit all over my keyboard.

    yours,

    hopeless

    Once again posting for no other reason but to post. I am so gay that it hurts. My gayness has actually become spontaneously-physically painful.

    Reply
  30. biatcho | August 21, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    oh my christ that little annoying piece of shit that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe and won’t go away named danielle is back.
    I thought I specifically told you to kill yourself months ago? Didn’t you get fired from your reception job yet because you’re using the internet when you should be ordering food & coffee for all of the people with college educations?

    Reply
  31. Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 21, 2006 at 6:17 pm

    @30 bah hahahaha!!

    Nice. I didn’t realize Danielle had such a fan club.

    Reply
  32. biatcho | August 21, 2006 at 6:36 pm

    She’s such a useless 16 year old, she’s a big fan of saying things in the vain of “I know you are but what am I?” It was the start of all that is currently wrong (including the server issues)with the Superficial and it won’t go away.
    We’ve gotten rid of megan harris, trophywife and lame bananas, this chick is toast.

    Reply
  33. RichPort | August 21, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    Careful… if you call her toast, danYELL X will call you racist.

    Reply
  34. missaddicted | August 22, 2006 at 12:34 am

    If this lets me post I will run around my living room excitedly naked, because I’ve tried so hard to post on this awesome site and it has never let me..

    Reply
  35. missaddicted | August 22, 2006 at 12:37 am

    Holy fudge! Welcome to the club, me! *puts back on clothes* Ok cool, this new server thing works from Australia FAYI.. sweet mate!

    Reply
  36. cayana | August 22, 2006 at 1:17 am

    Whee it’s back.. I needed my Superficial fix.

    Reply
  37. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 5:40 am

    ahhh. good ole friend biatch HO is back. lovely to hear from your ignorant ass again….NOT. get a life, you worthless piece of shit. get off the public computer, and get back to removing elephant shit at your penniless job at the zoo. maybe we can talk some more after your break, okay. *kisses*

    p.s. are you and richport lovers? you should be. you both complete each others ignorance. you two would make some great unitelligable, grotesque, babies together….who’d probably commit suicide at the sight of thier parents. never mind. bad idea.

    Reply
  38. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 6:09 am

    btw- do you guys have a myspace page?

    Reply
  39. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 6:20 am

    #37 I love me some bougie in the morning. MMMM MMMM. Let’s expound on the history of racism, shall we? We can dissect the meaning of politically correct phrases meant to give succor to those who purposefully disenfrachise themselves while ignoring the plight of real victims. Let’s also extol the benefits of cutting and pasting from wikipedia to make our points. Fear not, I do not hate the ignorant. In fact, I’m here to help. Hurricane season is coming up and the government is looking for ‘human weather shields’ to bolster the levees in N’awlins. If you run now (probably on all fours) you just might beat the undocumented workers vying for those coveted positions. Oh, did I call you a bitch yet? No? BITCH (I know how you looooove the caps). My Space is for 16 year olds…

    Reply
  40. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 6:27 am

    yeah yeah yeah. put down the dictionary and pick up a bat already. hit yourself with it continuously and then be a doll and jump into a lake full of flesh eating disease.

    (p.s.)shhhh. we all KNOW you’re not white. but seriously, coloring your skin with crayola is such a bad disguise.

    Reply
  41. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 7:02 am

    My bad, I will try to pick small words for you next time, I do not want to hurt your brain.

    Reply
  42. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 7:04 am

    yeah, also be sure to actually go to collge and ge an education so that everytime you write a sentence like i don’t know, ” i love cats”…you won’t have to refer to a dictionary to check for spelling mistakes.

    Reply
  43. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 7:06 am

    of course college and get are mispelled incorrectly, did you notice that? it was a test…but you always fail those, even blood test! man you’re stupid.

    Reply
  44. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 8:27 am

    I’m sure every member of damnYELL’s family has an “I’m with stupid” t shirt.

    Reply
  45. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 8:48 am

    ahhh….the jokes that you pull out of your ass. very clever.

    Reply
  46. Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 22, 2006 at 9:08 am

    @43 “mispelled incorrectly”

    ??HUH??

    Its not quite a double negative or an oxymoron, but its def. wrong.

    Its ok I don’t expect you to know what dems big words is.

    Reply
  47. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 9:20 am

    SHHHH Beaver, if you leave it alone, it will curl up and die. It’s so full on cuntradictions I cun’t even begin. SHHHHH… let it curl up and die… somewhere, Malcom X is spinning like a fucking gyroscope in his grave.

    Reply
  48. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 9:21 am

    Oh shit, I mispelled Malcolm X… I’m turning just as stupid as it is… SHHHH… let it curl up and die…

    Reply
  49. danielle | August 22, 2006 at 9:57 am

    like totally, oh my gosh, super! wanna pet my wiener, please be quite. if you talk out of your ass any longer than you already have, you’ll grow an extra butt cheek, or a brain, or butt cheek with a brain. stay silent.

    richport….that’s all i have to say. sleep on that.

    Reply
  50. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 10:10 am

    SHHHHH!!!!! it’s still watching…. let it curl up and die…..

    Reply
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