Cameron Diaz wins lawsuit

April 3rd, 2006 // 22 Comments

diaz-wins-case.jpgThe photographer that tried to sell nude pictures of Cameron Diaz back to her for $3 million was convicted last Friday on felony charges of forgery, perjury and attempted grand larceny, and is now serving a four year sentence.

Blackmail is fun and all, but try to make sure you’ve actually got some embarrassing information to work with before you try it. I suggest video of them molesting a farm animal. If you have trouble getting it, just fake the whole thing with a cardboard cutout of their face taped to yours. Or forget the cardboard cutout and just fondle the farm animals anyway. Either way you’re having fun, and that’s what really matters.

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superficial

  1. whodatiz

    First! YOU’RE a pig, you pig!

  2. blackblackheart

    LARR!!! SO FUNNY AHAHAAHA

  3. Uhn Tiss Baby

    Everyone’s already seen Cameron Diaz’ pornos. He should have thought about that before he tried to blackmail her. Dumbass.

  4. CheekyChops

    Did he try to sell them back to her because no one else wanted them?

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Is that gel?…

  6. LRonHubbaHubba

    She has man-hands.

  7. prideofchucky

    “I suggest video of them molesting a farm animal”
    —————————————
    HELLO AND THANKS FOR CALLING MOVIEPHONE!

    She was a big city girl, he was a small town lifestock. Together they’re find out why something so wrong can feel SO RIGHT!
    Cameron Diaz in ANIMAL LOVER. Rated PG-13..

  8. Jacq

    I’d pay him 2 mil to keep those pictures to himself. Money well spent. Probably look like a photo-shopped picture of a naked 9 year-old boy, stretched to roughly 9 feet tall.

  9. PapaHotNuts

    Speaking of other shit no one would want to see, I have some topless photos of Rosie O’Donnell, a beaver shot of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and a steamy make -out session between Star Jones and a dead squirrel. Bids are starting at $1.00.

  10. bjpack

    PapaHotNuts I looked on Ebay and couldn’t find this auction. Do I need to email you to bid?

  11. Tracy

    Someone sent me naked pics of Brad Pitt. They ruined my Brad Pitt fantasy because his goods didn’t live up to my imagination. Cameron is probably afraid that all those 15 year old boys out there will be incredibly disappointed when they realize her body looks just like theirs.

  12. gogoboots

    We care because…?

  13. silly photographer…cameron diaz isn’t down with blackmail…she’s down with guys who THINK they’re black males…

  14. Star Maker Machinery

    I didn’t think there was such a huge market for geriatric porn. Anyways, isn’t Cameron set to star in the sequel to “The Crying Game”?

  15. krisdylee

    Ah, fuck, this is no fun. Where the hell is Whitney??? We need more Whitney smokin’ the crack fighting Bobby stickin’ teeth up her poochana kind of thread….

  16. HughJorganthethird

    Cameron Diaz sued someone? No WAY! Next you’ll tell me she can’t act, hit’s photograhers and is dating a fag.

  17. I’d still hit it.

  18. chewgees

    #18 – I think you’d have her all to yourself

  19. A897

    Cameron Diaz is ugly.

  20. Pez_D_Spencer

    #10 – You’ll have to offer a lot more than a dollar if you want someone to take that stuff off your hands. :)

  21. hafaball

    Four fucking years? Michael Jackson will never get that and he actually does molest things…children! And numerous times! And he hasn’t even been found guilty! AHHH!!!

    ….I love this country.

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