Cameron Diaz not dating John Mayer

August 28th, 2007 // 60 Comments
cameron-diaz-shopping.jpg

Despite recent reports that Cameron Diaz was getting close with Rumplestilskin John Mayer, E! Online’s Watch with Kristin says that Cameron is now dating Bradley Cooper:

Sources close to Bradley and Cameron Diaz tell me that the two have been dating the past couple weeks. Pretty adorable, no? Bradley’s rep insists that it is “not true” that the two are dating. However, insiders tell me that Cameron and Bradley have been busy sending flirty text messages to each other throughout the day and spending quite a bit of time together. This news comes on the heels of rumors in recent months regarding Cam’s post-Justin love life, including rumblings that she was romantically tied to Criss Angel, David de Rothschild and John Mayer.

From here on out, everyday you wake up, just assume that Cameron Diaz is dating a new person. How does she do it? Alcohol. Gallons upon gallons of alcohol. She funnels it into these poor bastards until they find her somewhat do-able. Of course this doesn’t always work because her face could sober up a wino. I saw it happen once. The guy owns a Starbucks now. He may suffer from incurable night terrors, but at least he’s off the streets.

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Comments (60)

  1. Radar | August 28, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    First. WHOO HOOOO~~~

    Reply
  2. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    THANK YOU GOD!!!

    Reply
  3. Radar | August 28, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    Hell, I’d date Cameron Diaz. I can always close my eyes, can’t I? And she’s got the money!!

    I’m surprised you’re hot for lard-ass Kardashian. To each his own, I guess.

    But if I could get pampered in the lap of luxury, and have a famous sugar momma who’s still got a ton of movies in her, and all I have to do is look at her average mug, why the hell not?

    See you as I drive by in the Ferrari. ZOOM, biatch!

    Reply
  4. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    While this is far better than that scary shit in the last post, who gives a SHIT who this bitch is dating. She can date Pee Wee Herman for all I care

    Reply
  5. boler | August 28, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    Too late in the day for a new poost.

    Reply
  6. veggi | August 28, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    I’d love to drink the puss and oil from every one of her blackheads.

    I miss Victor…

    Reply
  7. Tumbler | August 28, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    I’m not dating Jessica Biel.
    I might as well provide my own news.

    Reply
  8. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    I dont know about y’all but I’d definitely hit that. Smack that ass… then have her shove a big 16 inch black dildo up my ass too. Cuz I’m Jimbo, and Jimbo loves cock! Then I’d grab Veggi by his tiny balls.. and bust all over his stomach. Oh YEa!!

    Reply
  9. wooohah.com | August 28, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    Imagine if John Mayer and her were dating…and had a kid. That kid would be the ugliest Hollywood kid around. Uglier than Nick Cage’s fat ass teenaged kid.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Where celebrity goes hip-hop.

    Reply
  10. Cowgirl | August 28, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    #6, Are you talking about Madonna’s baby again? I did NOT just say that!

    Reply
  11. Victor's little dick | August 28, 2007 at 5:44 pm

    @6 I am still here Veggi

    Reply
  12. Veggi | August 28, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    @11…. oh whew! missed ya babe! ;)

    Reply
  13. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    @8 Same shit Troll Bitch. We have heard this all before. Come up with something new you boring pile of shit!!!

    Reply
  14. Yee Haw | August 28, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    Busy guy. Now Magazine in the UK has him linked to Jennifer Aniston in a story on their site today.

    Reply
  15. Cowgirl smoking peyote | August 28, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    #9—Don’t forget “smelliest” kid in Hollywood. You know she smokes weed like Kate Moss does crack (not Kid Rock’s crack though)?

    Reply
  16. Victor's Little Dick | August 28, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    @12 Yeah baby walk nasty for the love master!!! Come on over to daddy and sit on my face

    Reply
  17. confused | August 28, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    uhhhh guys….. who’s the real Jimbo? And why are there two?

    Reply
  18. pointandlaugh | August 28, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    god DAMN is she UGLY!!! ugh. She’s a 10-bagger. yuk.

    Reply
  19. Veggi | August 28, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    @16 im so there. you know how i like to get my ass eaten. plus i haven’t showered in 2 days. dont say i dont spoil you babe!

    Reply
  20. Mr. Gram Attic-Lee Correct | August 28, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    ..uhmm, I think it should “night tremors”….not “terrors”….but either/or it’s mildly amusing.

    Plus, Cameron Diaz isn’t as deformed as, say , Baby Bop from Barney.

    Reply
  21. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:56 pm

    @17 I am the real Jimbo and the other is a troll bitch. The troll bitch is also trolling veggi

    Reply
  22. a little less confused.. i think | August 28, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    @21, so you and Veggi dont really know each other? or are you gay? watever man… there is way too much dialog between everyone and you.

    Reply
  23. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    Wow, Looks who e-mail address I found in the Veggi troll post.

    cubelander@hotmail.com

    I guess you are not to fucking smart are you fucktard!!!

    Reply
  24. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    @8 And look who email address I found in my troll bitches post

    cubelander@hotmail.com

    Same fucking asshole

    Reply
  25. Jimbo | August 28, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    Wedgewood are you a fucking TROLL?

    Reply
  26. cubelander | August 28, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    dammit! you are two smart Jamesbo.

    Reply
  27. arc698 | August 28, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Barf she looks like Hulk Hogan

    http://www.theinnerclockwork.com (check it out kneegars)

    Reply
  28. TEC | August 28, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    She’s gone from Justin Timberlake to Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers? Wow.

    Reply
  29. Wicked Wendy | August 28, 2007 at 6:36 pm

    HAHAHAHA…….good one…..

    Reply
  30. michele | August 28, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    she doesn’t even look that bad. geez

    Reply
  31. sus | August 28, 2007 at 7:01 pm

    I actually think she’s pretty. I guess you pick the worst picture that catches her with her eyes droopy or mouth open because she’s talking or something (we’ve all had those pictures) and then talk about how ugly she is. Geeez…can’t you come up with anything better??

    Reply
  32. Vince Lombardi | August 28, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Neither am I… but I don’t see you publishing THAT!

    Reply
  33. DirtyMartini | August 28, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    Cameron Diaz is HOT!!!

    Reply
  34. Cowgurl | August 28, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    I’m 34?

    Reply
  35. double-bitted | August 28, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    i saw her on canon in BH not one block S of little s’monica in 2001 or 2002 walking w/ the bisexual leto and she’s horrible-looking in real life: no ass, terribly worn face, terribly worn skin — no appeal at all — must have sucked some serious cock back in the day to get on board and out of the LBC.

    Reply
  36. Joe Millionaire | August 28, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    I am not sure this is a step up or down from Jessica Simpson

    retire-with-millions.com

    Reply
  37. Ed | August 28, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    Oh how I wish she still looked like she did in The Mask.

    Reply
  38. HotDogger | August 29, 2007 at 12:06 am

    Oh my god, why anybody thinks this steamroller-faced cumsponge is attractive is beyond me.

    Reply
  39. ToTellTheTruth | August 29, 2007 at 12:16 am

    Ugly scarecrow looking bitch

    Reply
  40. Nipplover | August 29, 2007 at 1:30 am

    Cameron isn’t that bad, check out this nipple slip.

    http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/graphics/breast.jpg

    Reply
  41. cocaKelli | August 29, 2007 at 3:05 am

    27: You are a serious dillhole. Not interested in your whack emo whiteguy band, so go back to NorCal with your south-of-Portland Phish bullshit.
    You are so Avril. Stay out of LA.

    Reply
  42. ladyface | August 29, 2007 at 5:40 am

    boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

    Reply
  43. mywellrehearsedmistake | August 29, 2007 at 7:05 am

    …SLUT…

    Reply
  44. BlohansDeviatedSeptum | August 29, 2007 at 8:15 am

    Fucking night terrors

    Reply
  45. Morning Wood | August 29, 2007 at 8:23 am

    Her face would look better if she was sitting on mine…

    Reply
  46. havoc | August 29, 2007 at 9:21 am

    Who hasn’t this chick “dated”?

    Damn, she gets around doesn’t she?

    .

    Reply
  47. MR PAPARAZZI | August 29, 2007 at 10:48 am

    All the latest celeb gossip… just click my name.. what you waiting for? go on do it.. do it now.. oh for crying out loud why wont you click it? for the love of good please just click my name (*slams fist on table, kinda hurts so lets out a little wimper*)

    Reply
  48. gerard Vandenberg | August 29, 2007 at 10:57 am

    ………………………………………………I’M GLAD HONEY!!

    Reply
  49. sane-o | August 29, 2007 at 10:58 am

    Her vagina must have a “please take a number” ticket dispenser stapled to it.

    Reply
  50. sane-o | August 29, 2007 at 10:58 am

    she’s already showing some tread.
    If she doesn’t slow down on the vagina mileage, she’s gonna end up looking like jenna jamison

    Reply

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