Cameron Diaz not dating John Mayer

August 28th, 2007 // 60 Comments
cameron-diaz-shopping.jpg

Despite recent reports that Cameron Diaz was getting close with Rumplestilskin John Mayer, E! Online’s Watch with Kristin says that Cameron is now dating Bradley Cooper:

Sources close to Bradley and Cameron Diaz tell me that the two have been dating the past couple weeks. Pretty adorable, no? Bradley’s rep insists that it is “not true” that the two are dating. However, insiders tell me that Cameron and Bradley have been busy sending flirty text messages to each other throughout the day and spending quite a bit of time together. This news comes on the heels of rumors in recent months regarding Cam’s post-Justin love life, including rumblings that she was romantically tied to Criss Angel, David de Rothschild and John Mayer.

From here on out, everyday you wake up, just assume that Cameron Diaz is dating a new person. How does she do it? Alcohol. Gallons upon gallons of alcohol. She funnels it into these poor bastards until they find her somewhat do-able. Of course this doesn’t always work because her face could sober up a wino. I saw it happen once. The guy owns a Starbucks now. He may suffer from incurable night terrors, but at least he’s off the streets.

superficial

  1. Radar

    First. WHOO HOOOO~~~

  2. THANK YOU GOD!!!

  3. Radar

    Hell, I’d date Cameron Diaz. I can always close my eyes, can’t I? And she’s got the money!!

    I’m surprised you’re hot for lard-ass Kardashian. To each his own, I guess.

    But if I could get pampered in the lap of luxury, and have a famous sugar momma who’s still got a ton of movies in her, and all I have to do is look at her average mug, why the hell not?

    See you as I drive by in the Ferrari. ZOOM, biatch!

  4. While this is far better than that scary shit in the last post, who gives a SHIT who this bitch is dating. She can date Pee Wee Herman for all I care

  5. boler

    Too late in the day for a new poost.

  6. veggi

    I’d love to drink the puss and oil from every one of her blackheads.

    I miss Victor…

  7. Tumbler

    I’m not dating Jessica Biel.
    I might as well provide my own news.

  8. I dont know about y’all but I’d definitely hit that. Smack that ass… then have her shove a big 16 inch black dildo up my ass too. Cuz I’m Jimbo, and Jimbo loves cock! Then I’d grab Veggi by his tiny balls.. and bust all over his stomach. Oh YEa!!

  9. Imagine if John Mayer and her were dating…and had a kid. That kid would be the ugliest Hollywood kid around. Uglier than Nick Cage’s fat ass teenaged kid.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Where celebrity goes hip-hop.

  10. Cowgirl

    #6, Are you talking about Madonna’s baby again? I did NOT just say that!

  11. Victor's little dick

    @6 I am still here Veggi

  12. Veggi

    @11…. oh whew! missed ya babe! ;)

  13. @8 Same shit Troll Bitch. We have heard this all before. Come up with something new you boring pile of shit!!!

  14. Busy guy. Now Magazine in the UK has him linked to Jennifer Aniston in a story on their site today.

  15. Cowgirl smoking peyote

    #9—Don’t forget “smelliest” kid in Hollywood. You know she smokes weed like Kate Moss does crack (not Kid Rock’s crack though)?

  16. Victor's Little Dick

    @12 Yeah baby walk nasty for the love master!!! Come on over to daddy and sit on my face

  17. confused

    uhhhh guys….. who’s the real Jimbo? And why are there two?

  18. pointandlaugh

    god DAMN is she UGLY!!! ugh. She’s a 10-bagger. yuk.

  19. @16 im so there. you know how i like to get my ass eaten. plus i haven’t showered in 2 days. dont say i dont spoil you babe!

  20. Mr. Gram Attic-Lee Correct

    ..uhmm, I think it should “night tremors”….not “terrors”….but either/or it’s mildly amusing.

    Plus, Cameron Diaz isn’t as deformed as, say , Baby Bop from Barney.

  21. @17 I am the real Jimbo and the other is a troll bitch. The troll bitch is also trolling veggi

  22. a little less confused.. i think

    @21, so you and Veggi dont really know each other? or are you gay? watever man… there is way too much dialog between everyone and you.

  23. Wow, Looks who e-mail address I found in the Veggi troll post.

    cubelander@hotmail.com

    I guess you are not to fucking smart are you fucktard!!!

  24. @8 And look who email address I found in my troll bitches post

    cubelander@hotmail.com

    Same fucking asshole

  25. Wedgewood are you a fucking TROLL?

  26. cubelander

    dammit! you are two smart Jamesbo.

  27. Barf she looks like Hulk Hogan

    http://www.theinnerclockwork.com (check it out kneegars)

  28. TEC

    She’s gone from Justin Timberlake to Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers? Wow.

  29. Wicked Wendy

    HAHAHAHA…….good one…..

  30. michele

    she doesn’t even look that bad. geez

  31. sus

    I actually think she’s pretty. I guess you pick the worst picture that catches her with her eyes droopy or mouth open because she’s talking or something (we’ve all had those pictures) and then talk about how ugly she is. Geeez…can’t you come up with anything better??

  32. Vince Lombardi

    Neither am I… but I don’t see you publishing THAT!

  33. DirtyMartini

    Cameron Diaz is HOT!!!

  34. Cowgurl

    I’m 34?

  35. double-bitted

    i saw her on canon in BH not one block S of little s’monica in 2001 or 2002 walking w/ the bisexual leto and she’s horrible-looking in real life: no ass, terribly worn face, terribly worn skin — no appeal at all — must have sucked some serious cock back in the day to get on board and out of the LBC.

  36. I am not sure this is a step up or down from Jessica Simpson

    retire-with-millions.com

  37. Ed

    Oh how I wish she still looked like she did in The Mask.

  38. Oh my god, why anybody thinks this steamroller-faced cumsponge is attractive is beyond me.

  39. ToTellTheTruth

    Ugly scarecrow looking bitch

  40. Cameron isn’t that bad, check out this nipple slip.

    http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/graphics/breast.jpg

  41. cocaKelli

    27: You are a serious dillhole. Not interested in your whack emo whiteguy band, so go back to NorCal with your south-of-Portland Phish bullshit.
    You are so Avril. Stay out of LA.

  42. ladyface

    boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

  43. mywellrehearsedmistake

    …SLUT…

  44. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    Fucking night terrors

  45. Her face would look better if she was sitting on mine…

  46. havoc

    Who hasn’t this chick “dated”?

    Damn, she gets around doesn’t she?

    .

  47. All the latest celeb gossip… just click my name.. what you waiting for? go on do it.. do it now.. oh for crying out loud why wont you click it? for the love of good please just click my name (*slams fist on table, kinda hurts so lets out a little wimper*)

  48. gerard Vandenberg

    ………………………………………………I’M GLAD HONEY!!

  49. sane-o

    Her vagina must have a “please take a number” ticket dispenser stapled to it.

  50. sane-o

    she’s already showing some tread.
    If she doesn’t slow down on the vagina mileage, she’s gonna end up looking like jenna jamison

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