Cameron Diaz has something of mine

September 18th, 2007 // 71 Comments

There they are! How drunk was I last night? Somehow I let a transvestite run off with my Batman and Robin. No, that’s not a tranny, it’s Cameron Diaz. Oh, gross. Wow. I don’t even want them back. She can keep them. I’m okay with a deflated sac. Fortunately these washboard abs will be the perfect distraction. Yep, you can do laundry off these babies. Which I often do in the company of a lady. It makes her wonder where the muscle ends and the man begins.

Photos: Splash

  1. Cameron’s a skank and needs to step off!!! Athton is way out of her league, and he’s gay. The Demi thing is a career move, oviously. Everyone knows in Hollywood, I can’t believe anyone else would buy that crap. Apparently he’s a real size queen that prefers black men, and has been with several well known gay/bi porn stars. Mmm mmmmm, to just be a fly on the wall when that was going down.

  2. Brinkman

    Fifty-second! Yes! I have arrived!

  3. Guest

    Best. Headline. Ever.

  4. Retardsonsuperficial

    can’t you dumb fucks figure out that they’re on a set of their upcoming movie? hover on the photo and it’ll show the url. oh wait, you’re a bunch of dumb fucks.

  5. Politenessman

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t lawn bowling an activity for elderly, retired people? Say, like Demi Moore?

  6. The Fabulous Armand

    She looks a lot like the old Marlon Brando. Was there a bocce ball scene in The Godfather?

  7. Kat

    Dear Author,

    I think Cameron Diaz starts to look like Ellen Barkin which is positively outraging given the fact that sometime ago she REALLY was a hottie – oh, wait, so did Ellen Barkin. Ooops.

  8. [dAn!]

    It’s a movie, you guys (((What Happens In Vegas)))

  9. ArtMan

    She reminds me of Ellen Barkin, not when she was hot, but when she got haggard and ragged-out and started looking like a blonde pre-facial surgery Leona Helmsley. The difference is that it happened to Ellen in her mid-40s, not in her mid-30s like Cameron. (I think Ellen had some work done and looks pretty good now for her age.)

  10. Voracious

    Lol she has such a funny expression on her face holding those balls

  11. Blondamnation

    Hey #55 why is everyone retards? Because they’re on a movie set and so of course it’s not bad that she’s grabbing his butt because they’re on a movie set? No one’s ever been married and cheated on his wife on a movie set, you’re right.
    You can also eat 58000 calories a day on a movie set and not gain weight, I forgot. Your galactic shield stays on during filming and comes off after the movie wraps.

    Cameron Diaz looked good in one movie: The Mask. Then she cut her hair and stopped wearing the right makeup (she needs eyeliner and she needs to cover up those pock-marks). Even her clothes are dorky. But she was so good in ‘Somehting about Mary’ that it almost makes you forgive her for looking so shitty now.

  12. lidiya

    how is it that my 67-year-old grandma has better-looking skin than cameron diaz? my grandma has been smoking for 20 years, and also has kind of a mustache, but she looks vastly more soft and feminine. weird!

  13. Lilo

    Hilarious headline!

  14. hahahha

    Those are the only balls she’ll be holding for a long time…no one wants a dried up leatherface..sorry buttaface!

  15. LauraE

    I am under the impression that your PC and mine do not display the same pictures. Cameron has great legs, big beautiful blue eyes, a wonderful white smile, and is a natural beauty, she is not an artificial “soft and feminine” = f”labby and dumb” idiot with implants like the ones you admire so often. I see nothing wrong with her skin… let me View>>Refresh… still the same… View>>Refresh… still cute…

  16. ha

    lol^ u lesbian

  17. I hate celebrities

    Yeay #63 Great comment. I see someone has a brain and the right to go outside without a helmet.

    I predict Ashton will leave his wifey for Cam. He said in an interview years before Demi that he had a mega crush on Cam and think about it they are basically the same person except one of them looks sort of like a woman (Ashton) and one of them actually has a pair of balls and a very large penis to go with them (Cameron).

    Anyfuck I can totally see all of us here in a year or so arguing over wether it’s a trade up or down for Kootchie boy to leave Mommy Moore and shack up with Diaz.

    Who the fuck cares if it’s a movie set we’ve all seen this shit before and it would be sad except that no one with a brain has any respect for celeb marriages, almost all of them are inevitable trainwrecks. You really can’t expect the mentally challenged to have successful personal lives.

    Also it’s hard to tell what pics are from actual scenes and which pics are just two actors chilling between takes. I always thought these two would make the perfect gay couple; same personality, same funny yet shitty acting styles, simmilar bods and faces. A match made in celebrity adultery heaven.. I mean is there any other kind in Hollywood?

  18. FACE

    She looks like someone put makeup on a catchers mitt

  19. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    Nothing says movie excitement like a bocce ball scene. I’m on the edge of my fucking seat here people.

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