Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake almost murdered

September 20th, 2006 // 98 Comments

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Cameron Diaz has filed a police report against a photographer charging him with assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly trying to hit her and Justin Timberlake with his car. The LAPD says:

“On Sept. 19, just after midnight, Cameron Diaz filed a report with the LAPD. The incident happened on the 1600 block of King Road in Hollywood. Diaz and Justin Timberlake were leaving a friend’s home when a photographer hiding in the bushes tried to take a photograph of her. They both then chased the photographer for a short distance. The photographer then got into his car and drove toward both (of) them, causing Diaz to jump out of the car’s way. She felt the driver was trying to hit both of them, and so she filed the report. She’s alleging assault with a deadly weapon, with a vehicle. No arrests were made. We currently have no suspects, and the investigation is ongoing.”

X17, the photo agency the photographer was working for, has posted this statement on their website detailing their side of the story:

To the best of our knowledge, the pictures and video of Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz early morning on Tuesday, September 19 were taken on a public street where there was no “Private Drive” or “Private Property” sign visible. What the photographer knows he saw and what the pictures show, were at least two people verbally and physically assaulting him. Reports stating that Ms. Diaz has told police that the photographer tried to run her over with his car are completely false. The photographer was attempting to leave what he perceived to be a dangerous situation for him and when he tried to do so, Ms. Diaz and at least one other member of her entourage stood in front of his car in an attempt to entrap him. He drove around them at what he perceived to be a safe distance, as at least five members of Ms. Diaz and Mr. Timberlake’s group were yelling at him, making threats against him. The photographer is currently in the process of filing a complaint against Ms. Diaz and Mr. Timberlake.

The paparazzi cross the line all the time but they’re usually pretty truthful when it comes to what happened and it almost always turns out the celebrity has twisted everything to make them look like the bad guys. I spotted Jessica Alba on the street once and pulled out my camera phone to snap a pic, but then she freaked out and called the cops, accusing me of assault with a deadly weapon. And sure, my pants were down at the time, but my penis ain’t deadly, baby, it just looks like it is.

More shots of Justin and Cameron freaking out at the incident after the jump.


  1. jane's eyre

    Man, no wonder that photographer ran. Justin is about as scary as a crippled midget.

  2. Jennyface

    He still reminds me of a riled goat…and what’s with the long black hair?

  3. Hey Justin, leave the Anger to me, you lucky shit. Go cash a check and have sex with Cameron, and shut the fuck up.

  4. commissioner

    If I was Cameron, I’d deny, deny deny. No way would I admit I’d left the house looking that scary.

  5. Waaaaahhh!! Waaaaahhhhh!! Stop taking pictured of me me. Booohoooooohoooo.

    I piss in your general direction.

  6. PunjabPete

    Look at him in that first picture….
    “Here, Cami, hold my purse….”

    And we all know men in plaid boat shoes can whoop that ass… X17 beware….

  7. jane's eyre

    Ha ha, look at Cameron trying to hold the raging bull that is Justin back.

    “Baby, no! Just let him go. He isn’t worth it. He’ll never be the pillar of virile manhood that you are!”

    He’s such a BMF.

  8. clamofdeath

    hardcore thug life. except for his mom standing right there, holding him back.

  9. nicholelibra

    As scary looking as that bitch is I’d hit her too. He was probably fleeing for his life when the joker and it’s ghostly sidekick struck.


    High-Res Images:

  11. Hey, was the photog Joe Simpson? That fucker is everywhere!!

  12. Can anyone believe Justin moved 700,000 copies of his new album? The first single SexyBack sounds like a cylon love song, in other words pure shit. But that’s todays culture, everyone just buys what they think they’re supposed to, regardless of whether or not it’s actually good. Before everyone hates on me for not loving J-Tim, think before you rush to defend a former mouseketeer and N’Syncer.

  13. S.P.F.R.S.

    Too bad the car missed Justin “Oops where’d that boob come from” Timberlake. It would have removed that drunk-ass loser from the street.

  14. commissioner

    She could have just hit the guy with her suitcase. What’s she packing anyway? Not makeup.

    Before someone tells me I’m just jealous, I’ll say something nice. Her hair is very shiny.

  15. combustion8

    Haha look at justin gettin all froggy as if he can beat anyone up on this planet… Diaz is THE ugly btw.

  16. Superevil

    Better luck next time paparazzi dude.

  17. misterveryze

    Gosh, and I thought Cameron Diaz looked bad after a generous helping of makeup and an airbrush…

  18. Haroof

    Damn Cameron Diaz is one ugly ass chick.

    I can’t get over how screwed up her face is.

  19. JohnniePolo

    Good God almighty is that bitch ugly. She was more appealing with spunk in her hair.

  20. Ferret STOP!!!

    I can’t read or type because I’m laughing too hard.

  21. JT looks like he just got out of basic training

  22. Dory

    The photographer better run before she eats him with that Freaky huge huge HUGE mouth of hers

  23. That last picture looks like the photogs blacked out Cameron’s tracheotomy tube.

    “HMMmmmmI am Cameron Diazmmmm.”

    Or maybe that’s where she tore out her own throat after hearing JT tell her he was bringing sexy back for the 10,000th time.

    I wish I had a time machine so I could travel back to Micky Mouse Club days and whack that bastard in the sack.


  24. Ferret, I can see you mouthing these words

    “HMMmmmmI am Cameron Diazmmmm”

    trying to get the “m’s” in the right places.

    Go work on your blog… please!

  25. Italian Stallion

    Motherfucker look’s like Peyton Manning with that stupid ass buzz cut……

    What’s up with that last picture?
    Didn’t they teach this bitch it’s not nice to point?
    Next time this “ugly fag loving whore” points at me again, with the same finger she puts in Justins ass, I’m gonna kick the bitch right in the cunt………..

  26. Captain Awesome

    Justin is about as scary as a leaf on a tree. The only thing he’s scaring is my masculinity with that girls shirt he’s wearing.

    A kitten with a bazooka taped to its back could put fear in peoples eyes more than this dork.

  27. Bioplant


    Urp. Wrong thread. Non sequiturs for life, yo.

  28. I was going for the sound that Ned makes on Southpark. Goddamn it, if Fish supported HTML, I would be thrice as funny as I am now.

    (that’s right, I said ‘thrice’, bitches.)

    Brain – I can’t work on my blog. Cock-ninja has me scared to even visit blogspot, in case he launches a big-girl attack on me!

  29. Bioplant

    And now, on topic –

    As a man, I find Justin Timberlake irritating. I am unsure whether the issue is that other females find him wildly attractive, or that he has so-called talent.

    I think the main issue is that people are now treating his music with respect, and have quickly forgotten that this man used to belong to a boy band.

    Then again, Tom Hanks came from Bosom Buddies, and look what he has done for himself… I must simply be bitter.

  30. thesarahficial

    Wow I didn’t know Justin grew his hair out and dyed it black…

  31. “Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake almost murdered”

    The Superfish guy does have a flair for the dramatic.

  32. 30.. I don’t blame you Ferret.
    With Hopeless_Ninja on the loose, all bets are off.

  33. Bioplant

    I’m bringing sexy back to The Superficial!


  34. They don’t want their picture taken. Can you blame them? Talk about a bad face day.


    Thanks for the plug Mr. Embolism

  35. Wow. I’m like blog-whipped.

    That last comment totally sucked. I’m like all scramble brained form fucking, scrambled like scrabble …Chink… Chink… Chinks, chinks are any fucking asian looking mother-fuckers, there a a whole shit-load of chinks in Vietnam!!!


    Ferret and Embolism: I may need a fat slap I’m seeing shit, and my Pelvis is fucking shattered!!! Shattered I tell you!!!


  37. Chamois

    Maybe if Cameron Diaz put some makeup on when she leaves the house once in a while, having her picture taken wouldn’t be the most horrible thing that ever happened to her.

  38. Binky

    Well, any educated driver would KnoW Cammie would be ten points, but Justin – no more than 8 points – with a two point conversion out of the question.
    I’d like to comment more , but I’ve spotted some unidentifiable debris near my keyboard.
    (I am willing however, to ride out a downward spiral)

  39. DiabetesExplosion

    Ugh, I hope they get hit by a bus full of special-ed kids and nuns.

  40. krisdylee

    Huh. Who knew the little faggot was actually kind of tall.

  41. Nuke L.A.

    That bitch looks like Skeletor in need of some serious ProActiv, and someone needs to tell that homo to pull his pants up for his two-incher makes him look like a bigger tool than his music does.

  42. BarbadoSlim


  43. xx.deathcab.xx

    FFS, they’re DAMN ugly.

  44. pixelbasic

    Wooo Justin…bringin’ da sexy back. :|

  45. Binky

    Major Shuttle: “I just spotted ‘Major Parts’ floating past the windows here. The Cold War is over – Get me off this Rent-a-Wreck shitbox!! Not only the air sucks – when I open the window – everything sucks !!!
    Ground Control : Major Shuttle. Remember that ‘SUPER’ O 2 pipe we talked about at Space Camp ?”
    Major Shuttle : Humm. Ok. whooo. ‘Here I am floating in this tin can. Farrrr.above…..’ (etc)
    (Binky goes off topic too much – I’d ban him)

  46. LilRach

    Why all the negativity about Justin? I must be the only one on this site who likes him or the only one who will admit that i do.

    Honestly why do you people hate him so much? We finally get a post on here about a decent celeb who actually is talented but the hating still goes on.

    Blah blah blah….. i just don’t understand :(

  47. I effing hate celebrities. They want to be famous and all that and when the side effects of fame come up, they piss and moan. IF you don’t like it don’t be a celebrity.

    Too bad the photographer didn’t hit them. No more Sexyback.

  48. Binky

    Say there # 47
    When I open the windows down here – I feel the same way !
    (Although I’m quite sure it has nothing to do with American politics and celebrity ) …
    (But then again …the DVD isn’t always in the toaster… Hummmm….as they say in the industry…)

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