Cameron Diaz almost killed by bird

February 20th, 2006 // 43 Comments

cameron-diaz-bird.jpgCameron Diaz was on her way to a movie set in the UK when a bird flew through the windshield of the Audi A3 she was riding in and showered her with glass.

A worker at the garage where the vehicle is being repaired told Britain’s Sunday Mirror newspaper: “There is no doubt that the chauffeur saved her life. Other drivers would have panicked and lost control but he remained very cool. All you had to do was look at the damage to the windscreen to realise there had been one hell of an impact. I thought someone had thrown a brick from a bridge or something.”

It’s good to see Cameron’s okay, but I’m surprised she didn’t just open her mouth and swallow the bird. If you’re going to have a huge mouth, the least you can do is put it to use and swallow birds that fly through your windshield. Then when the chauffeur asks where the bird went, she could pull it out of her mouth and pretend it was all some elaborate magic trick.



  1. deyanira_spain

    uhm i already wrote a comment but it doesn’t seem to appear… it sth like:

    poor cameron , and, anyway, i don’t really remember an assassin bird trying to kill jocker in Batman film.

  2. Tania

    I bet Cameron wasn’t wearing any makeup and the bird was so jarred by her appearance that it just keeled over mid-flight and BLAMMO! right through the windshield.

  3. beautysofa

    1. For some reason, the word “chauffeur” used in English sentences cracks me up.
    2. A birdie for Cameron is no much of a news… waiting for Teri Hatcher (or Nicole Richie or LL… you name ‘em) to swallow a fried flying pig. Now count the calories pretty please.

  4. James Earl Cash

    First Oprah, now Cameron? They’re on the right track, these birds…

  5. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls

    Damn, she’s alive.

  6. Legal Diva

    Wow-that was a cunt hair away from a serious horrible awful freak trajedy…that poor chauffeur, imagine if he had to drive to safety next to a dead and mangled Diaz-that would be traumatizing-he would probably never drive again…

  7. ESQ

    I am stuck on the use of “windscreen” instead of “windshield,” what is up with that?

  8. sunny_sandals

    Forget windscreen, what’s up with “swollow”?? This is exactly the kind of situation spell check was made for.

  9. African or European?

  10. gogoboots

    it’s swallow isnt it? hello, spell check that before you publish your article next time. i’m also surprised she didn’t just open her mouth and eat the bird, she has a HUGE one! and all those teeth, crunch crunch crunch!

  11. LoneWolf

    Somewhere Fabio is laughing his arse off: images/content/5123.jpg

    I think the bird sat through Charlie’s Angels I & II and went kamakazee.

  12. HamHawk

    You know in the UK they like to call ladies “birds” right? Damn, celebrities get away with everything.

  13. Kelly

    maybe the bird was trying to land on her big ass forehead.

  14. tis GLAM

    “…Then when the chauffeur asks where the bird went, she could pull it out of her mouth and pretend it was all some elaborate magic trick.”

    WTF?? ….anyway,

    FACT: when birds crash into objects they are doing it on purpose because they have gone insane and are commiting suicide. (hah! who knew i’d actually use that fact later in life? thanks Ms.White!)

  15. Kg

    “… no known terrorist group has taken responsibility for the act of terror so far…”

  16. ebayfan414

    To #14: That’s not true; birds fly into things because they get cofused when they see glass…they think there’s nothing there so they try to fly through it. And BTW, this was sych a pathetic article. Not funny. *Yawn*

  17. baltogirl

    Re suicidal birds: that’s ridiculous. How exactly do they know the birds are suicidal? They interviewed them beforehand, while they’re lying on bird couches, at the bird shrink’s office?

  18. blackblackheart

    The bird wasn’t suicidal, it was already dead. I know because I threw it.

  19. MKOh8sMischka

    ske can’t die before justin proposes! another sassy couple to try to make fun of is what this site needs.

  20. ProbablyTooOld

    I have no real feeling about Diaz one way or another but I do know she experiences a lot of facial injuries. Broken noses, glass shards, surf boards in the snout, etc. It’s sort of weird that she has at least one a year. Before long she’s gonna need to plastic surgery procedures she condemns not to reverse signs of aging but so she doesn’t look like an aging boxer.

  21. cleo

    lol @ #9…
    i would definetly say european… migrating south to the massive country that is Cameron Diaz’s forehead…

  22. Average

    4.James Earl Cash
    “First Oprah, now Cameron? They’re on the right track, these birds…”


  23. hafaball

    Where did that “cunt hair” expression come from? I’ve never heard of that till recently hehe. But, I guess the bird didn’t like her last film :P Or Charlie’s Angels…both of them…and that other movie with…well, you know what I mean lol

  24. St.Minutia

    Attention person who likes K-Fed’s “corn rolls”: A “corn roll would be something you eat. Like a muffin made with corn meal. A cornrow is a (usually) ethnic hairstyle. Dumb ass.

    Attention ESQ: Windscreen is English for the American term windshield. Since the word appears in a quote from the British paper Daily Mirror…

    Now you know.

  25. rathernot666

    Didn’t she used to play for Poison and go by the name C.C.?

  26. jugsgirl

    Birds really freak me out. When you go to the mall they line up on the power lines and stare at us. When you go to the beach they surround you and stare at you. They are always watching and plotting.

    I think they are aliens learning from our every move. Dick Cheney was just trying to protect us, he knows whats going on.

    I smell conspiracy

  27. mamacita

    Speaking of birds…….. Does anyone remember that episode of Roseanne when Darlene dressed up as the woman from “The Birds” for Halloween? That was awesome.

  28. St. Minutia, please take a moment to define “didactic” for all the dumb asses out here.

    Thanks a million. No, really. Thanks a million.

  29. jugsgirl

    St. Minutia, please take a moment to define “cunt hair” for all the dumb asses out here.

  30. DonLes91

    Didactic refers to literature or other types of art that are instructional or informative. It does not merely entertain. In this sense The Bible is didactic because it offers guidance in moral, religious, and ethical matters. It tells stories of the lives of people that followed Christian teachings, and stories of people that decided to go against God and the consequences that they faced. …

  31. DonLes91

    The term cunt hair is used as a measurement in construction; an expansion of ‘to move it a hair’ or very small distance. A color may be added as an adjective to further define the degree of adjustment, such as RCH (red cunt hair as a coarse adjustment, a ‘blonde’ one would be a finer adjustment)The term is also used liberally in restaurant kitchens. A prep cook may ask his Sous chef or head chef how thin he should slice a certain vegetable. The chef may respond “Thinner than a cunt hair!”

  32. LaydeeBug

    What kind of bird was it, an ostrich? Maybe it was a rock-bellied bird. Whatever, he screwed up because he didn’t kill her. Too bad he didn’t peck her vocal cords out so we wouldn’t have to hear her dumb voice anymore.

  33. Damn, I knew the aging teenyboppers were pissed about Justin Timberlake, but I didn’t know they were THAT bad!

  34. LaydeeBug

    I thought Phyllis Diller was dead?

  35. derekd

    I sorry SF but your jokes fall flat when one is distracted with your spelling errors. IS THERE AN EDITOR IN THE HOUSE???

  36. St.Minutia, fearsarewishes, jugsgirl and DonLes91:

    Keep up the good work! :)

  37. St.Minutia

    Bless you DonLes91.

    St. Minutia=Patron saint of small, petty details. It’s what I do.

  38. LaydeeBug

    Cameron Diaz, another cactus. Gawd, she bores me. Poor Justin, all taken in by the older woman syndrome. He seems like a nice kid with no sense.

  39. blackblackheart

    Well, the bird was only doing it’s duty.
    SOMEONE’S gotta keep q-tips off the road *hehe*

  40. LaydeeBug

    Oh Cameron, how do I hate thee, let me count the punches to your face, 1, 2, 3, she’s down!!!!!!

  41. Jayne

    Fabio’s bird dilemma had more depth.

  42. damn!!! they better get those bird windshields on!

Leave A Comment