BREAKING: Cameron Diaz Can Look Worse

Probably because the photographer who shot these spent most of the day praying in Latin to revive his dead penis, it took until late yesterday for these pics of Cameron Diaz in all her man-armed, bleached-death splendor at Harvey Weinstein’s Golden Globes after-party to What the fucking hell? their way across my desk. From there it was another 12 hours until I realized this wasn’t Rutger Hauer on chemo, so I bet you had no idea this post would be a whimsical adventure of the mind. I’ll surprise you like that.

Photos: Getty