Cameron Diaz Is Banging Jason Segel

Now that Jason Segel and Michelle Williams are over because you can only have sex with someone for so long while the ghost of Heath Ledger hovers in the background begging you to please, for the love of God, stop penetrating his ex for five minutes and tell the police he was killed by the Olsen twins, Life & Style reports he’s been spotted dating Cameron Diaz in the Hamptons. Which is amazing because after looking at these photos of them together in 2011, I’m reporting they secretly had a baby two years ago because look at those hands on that stomach. I wonder what they named it before leaving it at a church.

Photos: Getty