In case you’ve ever entertained thoughts of dating Harrison Ford, let this be a lesson to you all. If I didn’t tell you that this thing used to be Calista Flockhart I know you wouldn’t have guessed it. Instead, you probably would have left some comments asking why I was posting pictures of strange sewer creatures. And then I’d make up some terrible lie about starting a sewer creature fan club, but eventually you’d find out it was actually Calista Flockhart and we’d have a big fight because I lied to you, and trust is the only thing we have in this world, baby.
As unhealthy as she looked as a stick, it was still way more appealing than this. A plate of monkey feces is more appealing than this.
rachel | February 10, 2006 at 2:00 pm
There’s no way in hell that’s her
asmith | February 10, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Oh, god….ick! She looked better when she was 57 pounds!
mikey | February 10, 2006 at 2:05 pm
she looks like master splinter.
richelle | February 10, 2006 at 2:06 pm
ha hah h ha ha hah ah ah a ha
Binky | February 10, 2006 at 2:06 pm
If that’s her – she’s got to stop eating again.
(But I think that’s gal who’s been running off with the carts at my Safeway.)
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Hell way yes, that’s her. She looks exactly the same ‘cept for some reason she’s all puffy. She’s three days younger than Teri Hatcher. I always thought she looked like some kind of starved little bird with her pinched nose. Well, it looks like she finally ate something.
SAPPY14 | February 10, 2006 at 2:07 pm
she looks like a frightening little elfkin.
OR, doesn’t she kind of look like those really scary mice from the movie witches, where they run around eating things? i feel like she’s going to open her mouth and there will be these tiny little teeth and she’s going to start gnawing on cheese. or wood. or hopefully not harrison fords weenie.
Zed | February 10, 2006 at 2:08 pm
This is a picture of her mother, right? Her mother, not her?
I’m just going to lie to myself and tell myself that it’s her mother or that she was having a very, very, very bad day of bloating. And forgot her makeup. That’s the ticket–she FORGOT to put on makeup. Or comb her hair. Or, or, or ….
I’m just so depressed.
CoJo | February 10, 2006 at 2:08 pm
She looks like she can be a spokesperson for the “I used to have an eating disorder and look what it’s done to my face” association.
Kim | February 10, 2006 at 2:09 pm
You can look at it two ways: Either Calista looks disgusting or Rachel Dratch is looking better than ever!
thenewjesus | February 10, 2006 at 2:09 pm
actually i think superficial got it perfect. the way she’s staring at the camera you can FEEL her going, prrreecioussssss…
Solaera | February 10, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Whoa! WTF? She looks older than he does and he’s like, what? 21 years older? That’s just plain sad.
bjpack | February 10, 2006 at 2:10 pm
So she was the one trailing Jessica Simpson.
Jomairy Ochoa | February 10, 2006 at 2:15 pm
well for the first time i actually feel bad for a celebrity’s hideousness. How old is she now like 50?
she looks so cold and dead. eek!
Jomairy Ochoa | February 10, 2006 at 2:17 pm
umm..*scratch*…..is hideousness even a real world?
mikeski | February 10, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Hideosity, then.
Maybe this is what happens when you kiss Lucy Liu.
Kg | February 10, 2006 at 2:19 pm
This is why celebrity-women don’t eat, people
collslee | February 10, 2006 at 2:22 pm
This goes out as a warning to all you ladies — this is what happens when one swallows sperm from an aging movie stars or rich men. 100-year-old men’s sperm not only makes you gain massive amounts of weight, but also ages you. Three words, Anna Nicole Smith (back in her J. Howard Marshall days).
Jonboy in SF | February 10, 2006 at 2:23 pm
See what Harrison Ford’s ancient love juice is doing to her? It’s aging her rapidly from inside out. Ewwwwww! Oddly I heard that Harrison is really a big stoner…maybe this pic was taken just after she got high with him and ate a bunch of Ho-Hos. Asmith you’re right…she looked better as a stick.
5paniard | February 10, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Yikes! some sort of wax rodent ate calista flockhart…well at least harrison ford is going to die soon
Haroof | February 10, 2006 at 2:30 pm
See, that’s what taking an old sausage will do to you.
Can’t believe she actually used to be semi-hot back in the Ally McBeal days.
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Her pinched mouth and nose remind me of a mean grade school teacher. All she needs is the half glasses.
Allie D. | February 10, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Her skin looks like freshly stirred Bisquick dough. Someone pass the butter and jam!!
chubby_cheekums | February 10, 2006 at 2:49 pm
I’m not sure that she’s actually fat. Just puffy and really, really ugly. She doesn’t look fat at all in recent pix.
Jimmy Jamm | February 10, 2006 at 2:52 pm
It looks like the love child of a three way between Ozzy Ozbourne, Calista Flockhart, and Gollum
gsprescueguy | February 10, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Holy crap, I thought it was Tanya Harding!!!
Hey, where are the new Tanya Harding/Jabba the Hutt pics?
Buffy Holt | February 10, 2006 at 2:53 pm
I LOVE Calista!
Joe Mamma | February 10, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Damn! I would have neer told he she needed a sandwich if I knew that was what it would do to her.
I’d say she looks like shit, but shit might be insulted.
Allie D. | February 10, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Oh and you know, there is just something poetically justified in seeing celebrities without their makeup on. I’m thrilled, actually… lol
no.name | February 10, 2006 at 2:59 pm
She’s never been very cute. Okay, she was once kinda cute. ehhh.. Meh.
maiira | February 10, 2006 at 3:02 pm
You know, I never really found Calista Flockhart attractive in the first place, but DAMN. This just takes the cake.
L.ronhubbard | February 10, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Who dug up Ray Walston?
hermanita | February 10, 2006 at 3:10 pm
uhhh…Ouch!!
mamasita | February 10, 2006 at 3:24 pm
I’M MELTING!….I’M MELTING!…..AHHHHHH!!!
Spindoc | February 10, 2006 at 3:26 pm
I don’t know what the hell you all are talking about, I think she hasn’t looked this good since she played “Granny” on the Beverly Hillbillies
DonLes91 | February 10, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I can’t believe this is Ally Mc freakin Beal.
hotwax | February 10, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Jowels, people, she has jowels! Like a bulldog or something .. I have to go scratch my eyeballs out now, thx.
escapevelocity | February 10, 2006 at 3:41 pm
the only way that could be calista flockheart is if harrison ford murdered her, invaded her body and used it as a bodysuit.
MystressJade | February 10, 2006 at 4:05 pm
She looks alot like Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons….
Not the Jess Simpsons…or maybe…
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Eeeexcellent…..(rubs hands together maniacally)
Go Sip | February 10, 2006 at 4:29 pm
What the F happened to her? She has the body of a pre-pubescent twelve year old boy and the face of Gollum. My God she is aging in dog years, who the hell is her make up artist? Because if that is Calista without make up, that woman deserves an award. Calista should be pictured “before” and “after” shots on this womans business card.
escapevelocity | February 10, 2006 at 4:40 pm
#41: heyyy, gollum IS NOT fat! hmpfft. =p
PapaHotNuts | February 10, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to gouge out your eyeballs with a Dorito. I was eating a delicious Cool Ranch Dorito when I saw this, an some kind of primal self-preservation instinct took over and I removed my eyeballs with whatever what was in my hand- a dorito. All you guys reading this, realize that with enough make-up and a sun-tan, that ugly bitch at the end of the bar could look like a celebrity. ‘Cause with those things, most celebs aren’t that cute. So go ahead and fuck her.
SMF121490 | February 10, 2006 at 5:01 pm
Someone call her make-up person. She could really use her/him. After this photo maybe Calista should travel everywhere 24/7 with her.
tis GLAM | February 10, 2006 at 5:03 pm
what a beauty!!
ShanDourdan | February 10, 2006 at 5:06 pm
I saw a picture of her a few weeks ago and, dare I say it, she looked good. But this?. This is someone getting prepared for Halloween waay too early. No need to frighten the kids Calista.
Akapee | February 10, 2006 at 5:10 pm
I can’t believe this is her real face. She might be made up for some weird movie/tv role. This is the Calista we all know http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Fashion/Images2002/flockhart.ford.072202.jpg
Gerald Tarrant | February 10, 2006 at 5:14 pm
That’s Tracy Ullman, not Callista, no way.
bone_daddio | February 10, 2006 at 5:19 pm
can u say, “methamphetamine addict” –> i knew u could!
TG | February 10, 2006 at 5:26 pm
aw come on – it’s called getting old. it ain’t THAT bad. someone caught her at an off moment