Apparently I’ll Post Bikini Photos of Calista Flockhart

February 20th, 2013 // 45 Comments

Last night I met the (third) woman I’m going to marry. I’ve never told anyone this before, but shortly after filming Temple of Doom, I found myself drawn, powerfully even, to waif-like bodies, stricken with hunger and perhaps a tad boyish if I may be frank. Now at long last I found someone who encapsulated all of that, plus a really, really big Joker mouth that I’ll probably shove my manhood into. Because, for real, how would that not happen? This earring is the panty-dropper.

- Harrsion, 1/21/2002

P.S. Totally saw topless tits while flying my helicopter again. I will never stop buzzing that beach.

Photos: GADE/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Falista Cockfart.

  2. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    $30 Beach Blowies?!? Fuckin Brazil RAWKS!!!!

  3. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if Monica is frolicking with the rest of her FRIENDS at the beach..?

  4. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a really sexy . . . pair of blue trunks.

  5. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    We have found the perfect Joker for the next Batman movie.

  6. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Buffalo Chips
    Commented on this photo:

    And now the mandatory photo of my wive so my aliby for taking 5

  7. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Buffalo Chips
    Commented on this photo:

    And now the mandatory photo of my wive so my aliby for taking 5

  8. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    Han(d) Solo?

  9. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Unlike Jon Hamm, Harrison stores his excess length conveniently in his right pocket.

  10. Discussion question: does it count as a bikini if the bottoms are a little boy’s trunks? Once we’ve hashed that out, we can work on the issue of whether it counts as a bikini if there are no boobs involved.

  11. Posting those photos is one of the sickest things you’ve ever done.

  12. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Buffalo Chips
    Commented on this photo:

    And now the mandatory photo of my wife so I can explain taking 50 pics of that hot model in the background.

  13. She has no worries. She’s fucking Han Solo!

  14. If I had to bang an old dude then I’d just go for Hans and skip the guy in the bikini that looks like my weird uncle.

  15. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The blogger is doing his best to destroy my decades long celebrity crush.
    Fine….go ahead…liberate me.

  16. Jimbo

    That’s a MAN!!! Ru Paul has better tits

  17. Dick Trickle

    We’ve got a surfboard here!

  18. mike

    I’m really enjoying the meta-development of Fish’s post titles. I’m waiting for “Fuck It, I’m Out Of Here, No, Seriously, I’m Done. I Realized That I Am Posting About a Milkshake Created In Honour Of Amber Rose’s Child, And There’s A Gas Station Hiring Near My House. Really, This Is It, Stop Hitting Refresh.”

  19. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got bigger tits than she does.
    But I guess you could say that about just about anyone.

  20. He’s still banging her? Jesus Christ, even Larry fucking King manages to find a new one every couple years.

  21. alex

    Okay, lots of hate in here….not me! She’s smoking hot you guys! Of course she’s flat chested, she’s ALWAYS been flat. Better than some desperate star like Hayden Pantyface that got cut up because she wanted A cups instead of no-cups.

    Also, she FORTY EIGHT YEARS OLD!! She looks fantastic. Love me some Ally McBeal!

  22. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll lick a cock hard”?

  23. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    When I saw this picture, I had a flashback to Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen the video for it.

  24. She looks good. I’ve always like her.

  25. cc

    I haven’t been this horny since I bought a new corn broom.

  26. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    koth
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is that little boy wearing a bikini top?

  27. FuckedUp

    Seriously, this woman was born in 1964. She looks amazing.

  28. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is grandpa Fords 3rd marriage. Apparently things look well.
    She’s very cute and tight for a woman near 50. He’ll probably die first before he gets tired of this one.

  29. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Gollum in a bikini

  30. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Name (Visible)
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Dave Foley in the background? I love that guy.

  31. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    CANTSTOPSTARING
    Commented on this photo:

    huh, weird. no boner this time.

  32. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    CANTSTOPSTARING
    Commented on this photo:

    in every picture like this, there’s always a hipster in the background saying it all with his face.

  33. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Feral b
    Commented on this photo:

    Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say “I made you” you gotta say “you made me.” How childish can you get?

  34. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks awesome for someone a hair away from 50.

    She’s always been waif-like and at least she’s aging gracefully and not a duck-lipped, shiny-foreheaded, collagen-injected, Botox-huffing phony.

    She came by her acting chops through study and working plays and didn’t suck any dicks for roles.

  35. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Impressed
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she looks healthy now. She used to be deathly skinny.

  36. steve stoic

    Is that a bikini top or a tattoo?

  37. ohwhatthehell

    Sorry to all you people who think she’s aging “gracefully”. Look at the eyebrows and the hairline, I think she’s had a facelift.

  38. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t understand how people enjoy going to beaches with hordes of other people on them. Ugh.

  39. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like his light saber is stuck!

  40. Burt

    Well, this website has officially jumped the shark, if that’s possible for a website to do.

  41. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    NO tits but she never did have them I think.
    NOT emaciated though ! !
    I hope she’s healthy and capable of taking cock.

  42. Calista Flockhart Bikini Harrison Ford
    Babe
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks great!

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