Caitlyn Jenner Wrote A Book About How Much Kris Jenner Sucks

“Bitch.”
“Whore.”
“We’re still rich because of morons though, right?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Cool, cool.”

You would think the one issue that the Right and Left could come together on would be to make sure that none of us get tossed into medical bankruptcy so that Paul Ryan can produce a gain for insurance company shareholders, but since we all also have the attention span of flies on crack, we’ll have to settle for collectively hating Kris Jenner. And her former concubine, Caitlyn Jenner, seems poised to be the new leader of this movement. Her new book will reportedly go into detail how “Kris pushed her into the closet,” but judging from the warmth and acceptance Caityln got in 2015 when she did come out, it’s pretty safe to say that if she’d done it 22 years prior, like she supposedly wanted to, they would have used her body as kindling for the Olympic Torch. Via Us Weekly:

Bad blood! Caitlyn Jenner is going for ex-wife Kris’ jugular in her upcoming memoir. In The Secrets of My Life, set to hit shelves on April 25, the transgender activist, 67, writes that Kris, 61, “made her suppress her true self,” a Caitlyn source exclusively reveals in the latest issue of Us Weekly.
When Caitlyn (formerly known as Bruce) married the Keeping Up With the Kardashians matriarch in 1991, Caitlyn told her about wanting to transition “and Kris pushed her into the closet,” explains the insider, adding that the topic will be covered in the upcoming book.

Of course, it’s also hard not to think this has all been shamelessly orchestrated for a big season finale showdown where in between lazy bites of salad Kourtney says “Gawd,” and Kim takes a selfie, so once again we’re the suckers for paying attention at all. If Caitlyn really wanted to fuck Kris over, she’d leak the recording she has of Kris encouraging O.J. to kill his wife so she could glom herself onto that story 20 years later to sell books. Oh, you forgot she did that?

Kris Jenner Devil

Never forget. Stay vigilant. Stay safe.

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