Walter White Used To Do Hemorrhoid Commercials

August 20th, 2013 // 11 Comments
Bryan Cranston Preparation H
WATCH: Bryan Cranston's Preparation H Commercial
Your New Lex Luthor?
Walter White Breaking Bad
'Eh, They're
Both Bald.'
- Hollywood Read More »

If you had hemorrhoids in the 1980s, chances are you’re watching Breaking Bad very differently than the rest of us because here’s Bryan Cranston promoting the oxygen action of Preparation H. And if you haven’t realized by now, Bryan Cranston has literally been in everything. If you watch Birth of a Nation, you’ll see him in the background telling another Klansman that Trayvon Martin had it coming. True story.

Anyway, the cool thing to do lately is post Breaking Bad theories, and that’s because they’re fucking awesome. So here are the Hunter/Gatherer and Color Theories in case you somehow missed them which you shouldn’t have because they will eat your mind. Not mention they’re the two most reliable theories that will completely change how you watch the show and make you marvel at the insane level of visual tedium that goes into it because Sunday’s episode alone had tons of little clues: The yellow race car, the bottom of Lydia’s shoes, Todd’s jacket, Hank’s blue shirt when he’s talking to Marie. Not to mention other hints I completely missed which Dustin Rowles over at Warming Glow expertly weaved into a compelling theory on who the ricin from the season premiere is for. But enough of that, and congratulations, you just got Trojan Horse’d into reading about Breaking Bad theories by a butt cream commercial. *throws bikini photos in your face, jumps out window*


  1. George Zimmerman's Gunsmith

    Greeaat. Yet another Trayvon Martin reference from our fair-minded Superficial Writer guy. Open season on blacks eh, Fish?

  2. JC

    I was waiting for Aaron Paul to come out and hit us with the tag line, “Put this in your ass crack, BITCH!”

  3. George Zimmerman's Gunsmith

    Note to all the Trayvon-Lovers/Zimmerman-Haters. The link is a story from CNN not Fox News, dated August 20, 2013, the same date as Fish’s post that I am referring. No cherry-picking here. Just cold hard news that makes the racial-pot stirrers boil hotter than the stuff in the pot they are stirring.

  4. 1 tube Preparation-H
    1 tube Vagisil
    2 squeeze bottles MIO energy drink
    7 tablets Extenze Male Enhancement

    Blend ingredients on high for 10 seconds. Spoon into your moms best pyrex baking dish and refrigerate 24 hours.

    And that is how you make some bomb-ass ice blue crystal meth. True story.

  5. I wonder how many things he blew up testing Preparations A through G?

  6. Why the hell does Clark Kent need Preparation H?

  7. karyn

    So everyone dies in the end, except of course the one goodman who never waivered, he wins? good grief. love it.

  8. Jeremy

    It’s called OLD NEWS.

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