Bryan Cranston Got a Real Bargain on The Dutch Hooker Who Took His Virginity

August 2nd, 2012 // 15 Comments
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“And for an extra 3 guilders, POW — Right in the titties!”

Posted by Photo Boy

Bryan Cranston is probably the greatest actor of all time. Ok, that could be a bit of an overstatement, but not if you’re not a fan of Breaking Bad and/or stories involving teenagers tricking their parents into funding their deflowering by way of prostitution. Starpulse reports:

“Beer is a nickel, and the hookers are cheap – it was 24 guilders, which I think was $8, to get laid,” he says. “We’re all writing home to our parents for more money: ‘We’re having such a good time, Mom and Dad! Please send more money! We promise to pay you back!’”

I’m not saying this is definitely the kind of story that makes this man so incredibly cool at the moment, but I am saying it’s sort of like if you baked a cake and you were trying to think of the perfect way to ice it and then a low-cost dutch hooker falls through your kitchen ceiling right on top of it.

Photo: Getty

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  1. Schmidtler

    So then I says ’8 Guilders?!? It only cost me 4 guilders to fly here on the fucking Hindenburg, I’ll be damned if I’m paying any more than 2 Guilders for a Dutch Hooker!’

  2. BeBo Wobbley

    Hard to believe that Fish is writing about an actor and a prostitute and it isn’t about Courtney Stoddard and her pimp, errr, husband getting their on reality show….where are the priorities in journalism, Fish?

  3. it had to be said

    Important pro tip: not all prostitutes in the Netherlands are Dutch. In fact, many seem to be from whatever disease pool Paris Hilton crawled out of.

  4. EricLr

    Of every actor who was ever on Malcolm in the Middle, he is the one I want to kick in the head least.

  5. Sheppy

    He is the worlds best actor.
    Malcom in the middle, HIMYM, Drive, Breaking Bad… All completely different charaters, all played brilliantly.

  6. Turd Ferguson

    He is the one who KNOCKS.

  7. CranAppleSnapple

    Watley!

  8. Batman

    I gave my monitor a bro-fist – you don’t leave Bryan Cranston hanging.

  9. Matey Perry

    Tim Whatley!

  10. Toby Weymiller

    He be saying what he want to be.

  11. Kam

    I love this man and he is a fantastic actor! I am hooked on Breaking bad! Can’t wait every week to see another episode!

  12. Goddamn. Imagine getting a slice of pizza and a hooker for what’s in your wallet. Now that would be the life…

  13. Important pro tip: not all prostitutes in the Netherlands are Dutch. https://vimeo.com/user12795632

  14. *Books a flight to The Netherlands.

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