Bruce Willis fights back

June 19th, 2006 // 41 Comments

Bruce Willis has filed a defamation suit against the paparazzi photographer who claims he attacked him after arriving at Koi last week. The suit says: “Plaintiff put his hand up in front of his face to shield his eyes from the blinding flash of the cameras in order to be able to see and walk into the restaurant. Goodrich falsely stated that Willis stiff-armed Goodrich, shoved the photographer and pushed his camera into his face, causing injury to Goodrich’s nose and teeth.”

The suit also specifies Willis didn’t physically assault Goodrich and the false allegations of criminal assault have damaged Willis’ reputation, career, and standing in the entertainment industry. Which is ironic, because the story is about him punching a photographer in the face and not dancing around in a ballerina outfit. If anything, the story should’ve boosted his reputation, career, and standing in the entertainment industry. It’d be like suing somebody because they claim you’re a bad ass who kicks the shit out of terrorists. Don’t sue them. Buy them a car.

superficial

  1. BigJim

    Real men don’t sue, they beat the shit out of people.

  2. BigJim

    Real men also don’t say first, they just post.

  3. JoBOO

    #3 — Bruce Willis Kicks ass — dont u be dissing him!!!

  4. BigJim

    And the coob licks ass, and loves the cock, and is retarded, and needs to die…

  5. Dragulf

    Damn straight Big Jim! Bruce Willis kicks ass!
    Screw you lamb banana/Big EDNA/First posting idiots!
    TCLTC!

  6. jane's eyre

    #3 Are you talking to yourself?

  7. jane's eyre

    Just saw 16 Blocks this past weekend…it was good, I’d recommend it. Though Bruce looks like crap in it (he’s an alcoholic cop).

  8. BigJim

    @7:

    I saw it too, but was disappointed. Brucie didn’t kill nearly as many people as in a typical Die Hard movie.

  9. BarbadoSlim

    If there’s an even lower evolutionary dead end than a celebrity it’s a paparazzi. If I were MacLane I would subject this asshole to years and years of painful litigation leading to bankruptcy, divorce, unemployment, and giving fellatio to drunken sexually confused insurance salesmen at Holyday Inn conventions.

  10. jane's eyre

    8
    Ha! Spoken like a true guy. I half wanted the black dude to die, he had the weirdest, most annoying nasally voice. I had a hard time understanding him.

  11. jFp

    Naw…a real man litigates, if he does it first. Then a real man would send over a couple of goons after he wins the lawsuit.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    @11
    EXACTLY!!

  13. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    Stuff his schlong into the cankerous cavern of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, a real man would not. Mmmmmm.

  14. Rachel

    Bruce Willis’s “character” is about as important as the “manny.” He stopped being a man when he let Punk’d marry his wife and attempt to raise his children with a big smile on his face.

  15. ellaminnowpea

    Golly – BigJim has hit ALL the nails on their proper heads…covered ALL the bases on 1, 2 & 4 = I got nuthin’!! He’s done it all!! You go BigJim!! (or should we just call you Big?!)

  16. krisdylee

    BigJim, I love you.

    I, being from BC, obviously prefer the Canucks… yet, the Cup (the Holy Grail of hockey fans) has not graced our country for how long? I say bring it home… bring it home….

  17. honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah

    I’d love to be a publicist for your average slow-witted celebrity. It would just be like making excuses for the hijinks of a drunken spouse, or a slightly retarded younger brother. The phones ringin’, people are demanding answers left and right. You’re like, Faack, what shit excuse *haven’t* I used lately? What can I say now to gain some leeway? “That wasn’t strangulation, silly. He was giving you a hug. A hug around the neck!” “Um, this is all just a matter of perspective — I say ‘adjusting shades’, you say ‘stabbing 37 times in the clavicle.’ Potato, potahto. We could stand here playing semantics all night.” I love publicists!

  18. ellaminnowpea

    As a publicist, I’d never last. I’m sure I’d be arrested for beating the shit out of the dumbass celebrities….case in point…Shitney.
    I have little patience for stupidity (aka: Lame-ness)

  19. This was the biggest little missunderstanding i’ve ever seen. that this went this far is ridiculous.

    IT”S ON VIDEO GUYS!!! The photographer is fine!

  20. Merebear

    twentieth! (that’s the highest I’ve ever been so forgive the idiocy…)

    Bruce Willis is so sexy that I’d forgive a strong arm, a flick, or a swish… The photographer should kiss his ass for the publicity.

  21. Zed is dead, baby. Zed is dead.

  22. krisdylee

    Fuck. Next year, guys.

    Next year.

  23. pixel killya

    16 Blocks was very watchable and very forgettable. Not bad, not great, just there is all.

    I think Bruce hit the guy accidentally on purpose….just having fun with the face of a paparazzo is all. Kiss and make up boys, you deserve each other.

  24. krisdylee

    Movies? The latest release I’ve seen is James and The Giant Peach. I never have time for movies what with the kids, shopping, work, laundry, shaving my pussy and rockin’ my hubby’s world, walking the dog, being the hottest MILF on the block, I NEVER have the time for movies.

    Fuck.

  25. KOI is overrated.

  26. jane's eyre

    21

    Who’s motorcycle is that?
    It’s not a motocycle, baby, it’s a chopper.
    Oh. Who’s chopper is that?
    It’s Zed’s.
    Who’s Zed?

  27. jane's eyre

    *motorcycle*

  28. Bruce Willis was in Die Hard. Surely this proves that the man can do no wrong?
    http://celebreligion.com

  29. WorldWideWendy

    It’s 5:15pm in Hong Kong- and if you were ‘strong armed’ by Bruce Willis, you’d know.And you’d be grateful. And you’d require stitches.

  30. slinkhard

    Now he’s being just as much of a pussy as the photographer. Yeah, your career must really have been damaged since this came out, what, a week ago.

  31. Binky

    The guy’s been a bit touchy and stressed ever since his marrage was punk’d.

  32. waterranger

    WOOH! Carolina won the cup! I get to see the Stanley Cup in my hometown this weekend! WOOH!

  33. Fisher55

    i heard that Bruce stiff-armed Clay Aiken the other day, and lost a pinky ring

  34. Iambananas

    I’m back!!! Miss me, stupid fucks?

  35. tuna1020

    8e8d18a4e8

  36. billabong021

    man i saw that video of him an that “reporter”, willis did fukall to him.

  37. Italian Stallion

    Stallion: What now?

    Willis: What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers, who’ll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin’, paparazzi boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass.

  38. TrannyGranny

    BigJim, and related Canucks;

    Gee, you guys couldn’t be a bit crotchety today, because Canada had their ass handed to them by a hocky team from a state that HAS NO SNOW?

    Just askin’

  39. idiotsevant

    #38 the state has no snow but the team has a few canadians:

    Williams
    Stall
    Stillman
    Brind’Amour
    Recchi
    Wesley
    Ward (both of them)
    Commodore
    Whitney

    congrats on your win

  40. L-Train

    Nice Roster. Looks like those Canadians make up most of the first couple lines of the Hurricanes. I guess we know where the talent lies…

  41. Stacyy

    um if u ask me, it was anything but an accident.. first of all did bruce have to pick his sleeve up to shield himself from the flash, and how come he didnt put his hand near his eyes and before the picture was even taken, he smashed the camera. he was also quite sarcastic when he apologized if you ask me. and u dont get blind going into a club from one flash.

Leave A Comment