Bruce Willis and his wife take weird pictures

June 17th, 2009 // 109 Comments

Bruce Willis and his new wife Emma Heming pose for an S&M-themed photo shoot in the latest issue of W. I don’t really know what this says about them as a couple, but it’s an eerily accurate portrayal of married life. First, it’s all naked stuff and cool, then the next thing you know, your wife’s banging an EMT because you told her “the mask freaks you out.” Who hasn’t been down that road before?

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that the health inspector should probably take a look at.

Photos: W.

  1. What in the blue hell?!

  2. Valerie

    FINALLY–a bitch who doesn’t have ugly, HUGE nipples!

  3. Valerie

    Damn, B.W. a FREAK! :D

  4. Whitbo

    These were all shot at the new Standard Hotel in NYC. Cool.

  5. PEn15club

    No seriously what the fuck!??!

  6. chupacabra

    what the…

    Bruce? This is a raging far cry from your Moonlighting days, sir.

  7. Crabby Old Guy

    Okay – I guess I’m the only one who found these shots pretty efing cool? She’s quite yummy, btw – nice score BW.

  8. What is wrong with those pictures? That is what goes on at my house all the time..

  9. Haha! God you know they have some pretty kinky sex.

  10. Poppycock

    Hey….who doesn’t love a little kink??? Bruce is a hottie!

  11. What a ridiculous photo shoot. I appreciate the nudity, but the whole concept is retarded.

  12. @1 Duchess of Dork- I’m not sure why you are shocked by this sort of behavior; your art portfolio is nothing normal…

  13. Valerie

    “Bruce Willis and his new wife Emma Heming pose for an S&M-themed photo shoot”–this is not Sadomasichism. I see no pain in their faces. It’s not even Bondage & Discipline. At the least, it’s a fetish-fashion-themed photo shoot. Picture 6 MAY come close to S&M…..maybe.

  14. No wonder Bruce doenst have an ounce of jealous of Demi and Kutcher; That chic is smoking and into kinks..

  15. DeviousJinx

    She’s typically pretty smokin, but here she looks like Spock! Go John McClane on them for this travesty, Bruce…btw, you’re still f’en HOT, even in panties!

  16. @ Rachael – My portfolio is so normal it’s ridiculous.

    And I like these photos, if only for the fact that they make people think. Sure, it’s mostly about big fake boobs and weird shoes, but who doesn’t appreciate both of these things?

  17. Danny

    Absolutely beautiful.

  18. Prettybaby

    haha! I like the one where she’s got that hairy suit thing on riding on top of him!! :D Silly Bruce.

    Anyways, if he impregnates this one, we can certainly bet that they won’t be total fugsters like those other girls.

  19. Hash

    That’s a bald move, Mr.Willis!

  20. @Duchess
    Perhaps compared to your secret stash, eh?

  21. Loving Spoonful

    I hate Bruce Willis, but those breasts are spectacular.

    Mrs. Willis seems to have nice pectorals also.

  22. Amy

    WTF!!!!! I’m sorry but how weird can you get? And those shoes she has on are just plain stupid. I’m not a prude but what the hell is going on with the S&M fetishes nowadays..It doesn’t do it for me!

  23. Amy

    WTF!!!!! I’m sorry but how weird can you get? And those shoes she has on are just plain stupid. I’m not a prude but what the hell is going on with the S&M fetishes nowadays..It doesn’t do it for me!

  24. @16 I appreciate one of them…

  25. Veskit

    Fair play to the man. Mr Willis is at least a decade older than me and in much better shape.

    Could be outtakes from the fifth element.!

    ps my wife is just as good looking. I’m a happy man ;)

  26. Jennifer


    I love the militaristic space monkey furry armed jacket/bodice thing she’s wearing.

  27. fearsarewishes

    This would look much better if Mr. Willis was wearing the hat that this clothes hangar has on in pic #1.

  28. Mag Jones

    Those are amazing photos – from both an artistic and photographic standpoint.

    Love the angles, the strange subject matter, and it says a lot about the couple’s dynamic as well.

  29. Picture # 5 is confusing

    why is her upper body covered in hair in the pic where she is straddling him. She looks like something from the Planet of the Apes.

  30. jesseTheKid

    i love it. being a married guy with a creative and uninhibited person is fantastic fun. the fact that they can do stuff like this together is great and i bet their relationship is better for it. :)

  31. Kayleigh C.

    These pictures are amazing. The color, the movement.

  32. fearsarewishes


    Thank you for your very thoughtful analysis, Maggie.

    However, you may feel differently after completing your second photography course at High School High.

    Thanks again!

  33. fearsarewishes

    @28 and 31

    Hey Maggie! Like hello!! Kayleigh totally agrees with you!! No way did I think she would.

    She was being a total bitch in homeroom this morning.

  34. Courtyardpigeon

    OH my she has an amazing body!

  35. ktb

    HOT as fuck!
    LOVE the shoes.
    A bit turned on…my husband and I are going to have fun tonight!

  36. ktb

    Love the shoes!
    What a turn on! I will attack my husband when we get home from work tonight!

  37. rgr

    Those are some perfect tits.

  38. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @37 What, those shoes are fucking ugly as sin.

    I admit she looks good figure and skin wise, but what’s with the costumes, they auditioning for the remake of Hell Raiser or something

  39. help them

    The picture on the wall of the clown with his eyeball falling out is real class act just like them.

    They are just a couple of sickos and who knows what they are capable of.

    They really scare me, and I’ll never watch another one of his retarded movies again.

    Anyone who takes photos like these is obviously a fan of Charles Manson and should be locked up in a mental hospital.

  40. Pulp


  41. wtf

    Media Whores!

  42. wtf

    Media Whores!

  43. Stinky

    Brucey likey the kinky…

  44. JaniceGunit

    WTF? What if one of his kids looks at these pictures? Gross!!!!! I think he just wanted to show off his body because didn’t he get fat and gross a while back? And he wanted some publicity for his model wife. It’s sad, all Demi has to do is walk around and be herself to get attention, and Bruce has to do a weird photo shoot wearing nude-colored grandma panties with his shirtless wife in the hopes of getting a little media buzz.

  45. These beat the leather sock I had on my johnson during my wedding photos… and my wife dressed like Catwoman…

  46. sunshine

    #32 & #46 – hahahaha, why I love to read the comments!

  47. meg

    I dislike the clowns. :( Also, she is way, way too skinny – when women have that bony chest it’s a total turn-off to me. Yuck!

    But whatever, I’m happy for them. They seem to be enjoying themselves. :P

  48. Deacon Jones

    Man, what’s with Willis and his obsession for getting dumped nude in cities?

  49. Wow

    Great effing boobs!

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