Bruce Willis and his new wife Emma Heming pose for an S&M-themed photo shoot in the latest issue of W. I don’t really know what this says about them as a couple, but it’s an eerily accurate portrayal of married life. First, it’s all naked stuff and cool, then the next thing you know, your wife’s banging an EMT because you told her “the mask freaks you out.” Who hasn’t been down that road before?
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that the health inspector should probably take a look at.
Photos: W.
Duchess Of Dork | June 17, 2009 at 11:26 am
What in the blue hell?!
Valerie | June 17, 2009 at 11:27 am
FINALLY–a bitch who doesn’t have ugly, HUGE nipples!
Valerie | June 17, 2009 at 11:28 am
Damn, B.W. a FREAK! :D
Whitbo | June 17, 2009 at 11:29 am
These were all shot at the new Standard Hotel in NYC. Cool.
PEn15club | June 17, 2009 at 11:31 am
No seriously what the fuck!??!
chupacabra | June 17, 2009 at 11:31 am
what the…
Bruce? This is a raging far cry from your Moonlighting days, sir.
Crabby Old Guy | June 17, 2009 at 11:32 am
Okay – I guess I’m the only one who found these shots pretty efing cool? She’s quite yummy, btw – nice score BW.
Jimbo | June 17, 2009 at 11:32 am
What is wrong with those pictures? That is what goes on at my house all the time..
Rachael | June 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
Haha! God you know they have some pretty kinky sex.
Awesome.
Poppycock | June 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
Hey….who doesn’t love a little kink??? Bruce is a hottie!
Sportsdvl | June 17, 2009 at 11:37 am
What a ridiculous photo shoot. I appreciate the nudity, but the whole concept is retarded.
Rachael | June 17, 2009 at 11:39 am
@1 Duchess of Dork- I’m not sure why you are shocked by this sort of behavior; your art portfolio is nothing normal…
Valerie | June 17, 2009 at 11:40 am
“Bruce Willis and his new wife Emma Heming pose for an S&M-themed photo shoot”–this is not Sadomasichism. I see no pain in their faces. It’s not even Bondage & Discipline. At the least, it’s a fetish-fashion-themed photo shoot. Picture 6 MAY come close to S&M…..maybe.
so, so, ROUGH | June 17, 2009 at 11:40 am
No wonder Bruce doenst have an ounce of jealous of Demi and Kutcher; That chic is smoking and into kinks..
DeviousJinx | June 17, 2009 at 11:42 am
She’s typically pretty smokin, but here she looks like Spock! Go John McClane on them for this travesty, Bruce…btw, you’re still f’en HOT, even in panties!
Duchess Of Dork | June 17, 2009 at 11:43 am
@ Rachael – My portfolio is so normal it’s ridiculous.
And I like these photos, if only for the fact that they make people think. Sure, it’s mostly about big fake boobs and weird shoes, but who doesn’t appreciate both of these things?
Danny | June 17, 2009 at 11:45 am
Absolutely beautiful.
Prettybaby | June 17, 2009 at 11:48 am
haha! I like the one where she’s got that hairy suit thing on riding on top of him!! :D Silly Bruce.
Anyways, if he impregnates this one, we can certainly bet that they won’t be total fugsters like those other girls.
Hash | June 17, 2009 at 11:50 am
That’s a bald move, Mr.Willis!
Rachael | June 17, 2009 at 11:52 am
@Duchess
Perhaps compared to your secret stash, eh?
Loving Spoonful | June 17, 2009 at 11:52 am
I hate Bruce Willis, but those breasts are spectacular.
Mrs. Willis seems to have nice pectorals also.
Amy | June 17, 2009 at 12:00 pm
WTF!!!!! I’m sorry but how weird can you get? And those shoes she has on are just plain stupid. I’m not a prude but what the hell is going on with the S&M fetishes nowadays..It doesn’t do it for me!
Amy | June 17, 2009 at 12:00 pm
WTF!!!!! I’m sorry but how weird can you get? And those shoes she has on are just plain stupid. I’m not a prude but what the hell is going on with the S&M fetishes nowadays..It doesn’t do it for me!
Jimbo | June 17, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@16 I appreciate one of them…
Veskit | June 17, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Fair play to the man. Mr Willis is at least a decade older than me and in much better shape.
Could be outtakes from the fifth element.!
ps my wife is just as good looking. I’m a happy man ;)
Jennifer | June 17, 2009 at 12:14 pm
OOOOOOH!
I love the militaristic space monkey furry armed jacket/bodice thing she’s wearing.
fearsarewishes | June 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm
This would look much better if Mr. Willis was wearing the hat that this clothes hangar has on in pic #1.
Mag Jones | June 17, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Those are amazing photos – from both an artistic and photographic standpoint.
Love the angles, the strange subject matter, and it says a lot about the couple’s dynamic as well.
Picture # 5 is confusing | June 17, 2009 at 12:28 pm
why is her upper body covered in hair in the pic where she is straddling him. She looks like something from the Planet of the Apes.
jesseTheKid | June 17, 2009 at 12:28 pm
i love it. being a married guy with a creative and uninhibited person is fantastic fun. the fact that they can do stuff like this together is great and i bet their relationship is better for it. :)
Kayleigh C. | June 17, 2009 at 12:33 pm
These pictures are amazing. The color, the movement.
fearsarewishes | June 17, 2009 at 12:34 pm
@28
Thank you for your very thoughtful analysis, Maggie.
However, you may feel differently after completing your second photography course at High School High.
Thanks again!
fearsarewishes | June 17, 2009 at 12:40 pm
@28 and 31
Hey Maggie! Like hello!! Kayleigh totally agrees with you!! No way did I think she would.
She was being a total bitch in homeroom this morning.
Duchess Of Dork | June 17, 2009 at 12:46 pm
My stash is no secret.
Courtyardpigeon | June 17, 2009 at 12:46 pm
OH my she has an amazing body!
ktb | June 17, 2009 at 12:46 pm
HOT as fuck!
LOVE the shoes.
A bit turned on…my husband and I are going to have fun tonight!
ktb | June 17, 2009 at 12:49 pm
HOT!
Love the shoes!
What a turn on! I will attack my husband when we get home from work tonight!
rgr | June 17, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Those are some perfect tits.
FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere | June 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@37 What, those shoes are fucking ugly as sin.
I admit she looks good figure and skin wise, but what’s with the costumes, they auditioning for the remake of Hell Raiser or something
help them | June 17, 2009 at 12:55 pm
The picture on the wall of the clown with his eyeball falling out is real class act just like them.
They are just a couple of sickos and who knows what they are capable of.
They really scare me, and I’ll never watch another one of his retarded movies again.
Anyone who takes photos like these is obviously a fan of Charles Manson and should be locked up in a mental hospital.
Pulp | June 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm
BRING OUT THE GIMP!!
wtf | June 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Media Whores!
wtf | June 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Media Whores!
Stinky | June 17, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Brucey likey the kinky…
JaniceGunit | June 17, 2009 at 1:08 pm
WTF? What if one of his kids looks at these pictures? Gross!!!!! I think he just wanted to show off his body because didn’t he get fat and gross a while back? And he wanted some publicity for his model wife. It’s sad, all Demi has to do is walk around and be herself to get attention, and Bruce has to do a weird photo shoot wearing nude-colored grandma panties with his shirtless wife in the hopes of getting a little media buzz.
RichPort's Ghost | June 17, 2009 at 1:24 pm
These beat the leather sock I had on my johnson during my wedding photos… and my wife dressed like Catwoman…
sunshine | June 17, 2009 at 1:39 pm
#32 & #46 – hahahaha, why I love to read the comments!
meg | June 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I dislike the clowns. :( Also, she is way, way too skinny – when women have that bony chest it’s a total turn-off to me. Yuck!
But whatever, I’m happy for them. They seem to be enjoying themselves. :P
Deacon Jones | June 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Man, what’s with Willis and his obsession for getting dumped nude in cities?
Wow | June 17, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Great effing boobs!