Bruce Willis Knocked Up His Wife

While Ashton Kutcher’s wayward wang continues to remind Demi Moore she’s going to die much, much sooner than him, I’m talking decades earlier, her ex Bruce Willis is on the complete opposite end of the marriage spectrum where he’s celebrating the miracle of life by putting a baby in his wife Emma Heming, according to Life & Style:

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that Bruce and his wife, Emma Heming, are expecting a child.

“Emma is showing!” an insider exclusively confirms to Life & Style.

Keep in mind Bruce Willis is 56, so he’ll be seventy-fucking-five when this kid graduates high school which has to be awesome for a young adult looking for some parental support before striking out on his/her own. “Hey, dad, did you watch me get my diploma?” “I have angina and it hurts to see.”

Photos: Getty