Bruce Jenner And His Shaved Trachea Are Quitting ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’

“Hey, you can’t follow me here. I’m a member of the LPGA. I have rights!”

Now that Bruce Jenner has the finely shaved Adam’s apple of a young man making a him a precision aerodynamic machine of speed and looking like a lesbian, he doesn’t need Keeping Up With The Kardashians anymore. Or Hollywood at all. They’re just wind in his – *puts on sunglasses* – drag. TMZ reports, and almost forgot, HYEEEEEEAAHHHH:

Sources connected to both the Kardashian family and the production tell TMZ … Bruce will NOT come back for another season of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” if the network picks it up. The family is currently shooting the last installment of the series … and even if it gets renewed we’re told Bruce wants out.
Bruce now reluctantly takes part in the show … but only when it’s absolutely necessary. Whenever possible he’ll shoot his scenes in Malibu — where he now lives.
We’re told Bruce has a clear vision of his life as soon as the season ends … golfing, spending time with his kids — off camera — flying helicopters and riding motorcycles.

And marrying k.d. lang in a spirit ceremony. TMZ forgot marrying k.d. lang in a spirit ceremony. They should probably check their computers.

Photos: Splash News

Tags: Bruce Jenner