Brooke Hogan’s new album cover

May 27th, 2009 // 93 Comments

Here’s the cover for Brooke Hogan’s new album Redemption, and good news, everybody, trannies do go to Heaven. Except it appears excessive tanning is a prerequisite. I guess God hates the pale. What’re ya gonna do?

Thanks to Elena who wants to know how much airbrushing was used to hide the penis. All of it, Elena. All of it.

superficial

  1. mamamiasweetpeaches

    The eyes are freaky. like the eyes on those Jesus pictures. You know the ones. The ones that seem to follow you around a room.

  2. Rachel

    Is it just me or does that look like the side of some creepy pedophiles van?

  3. I’m a sad, racist piece of shit.

  4. wow, I always thought she walked kinda funny

  5. andy7171

    is this a joke?

  6. marge

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHHA

  7. Tucker Jay

    Sigh. What the…

  8. Donkey Dongey Dong

    Who in the blue hell does this nasty, no-talent, dumb, vapid, vain, bleached-blonde, ugly beast think she is?? She needs to just go away.

  9. Krassy McKrass

    I expected this to be the cover of her porno.

  10. hmna

    Fish, this needs the WTF tag. Just saying.

  11. moonlight

    So white trash, very appropriate!!

  12. Nanotyrnns

    My God (Thor)! That is one huge fucking vagina…

  13. Steph

    When “FULL ORANGE” began to be a skin color???… really excesive tanning is gross and in a painting is awful!… anyway this album wont be No. 1 so we dont have to see her everywhere….

  14. Turbines to speed

    That dude has giant tits.

  15. she looks so weird (and not just in this photo)

  16. Lu

    YEAH RIGHT…cuz she has THAT bikini bod! right…right…she’s that skinny right? Way to go Brooke…FAKE!

  17. She has never had that bod. Only in Hulk’s dreams does she look like that.

  18. Deaf RaGe

    EW!

  19. Monsterchukk

    I’m totally getting that painted on the side of my panel van…

  20. Aunt Jemima

    I’d really love it if Randy Macho-Man Savage did a duet with Brooke. Maybe they should do “Always on My Mind” by the Pet Shop Boys since there is no way Brooke and Randy could make that any more gay than it already is.

    Brooke: (in a very deep, husky voice) “And I guess I never told you, I’m so happy that you’re mine”

    Randy (really, really loud) “Oooooooh YEAH! How do you like that Brooke Hogan?”

  21. la la

    is this real?

  22. Aunt Jemima

    P.S. Randy should definitely have his bearded face, with a bedazzled cowboy hat, and a Slim Jim in his mouth on the album cover. Maybe at the top, like God, so Brooke’s “follow me wherever I go” eyes can stare at his magnificence.

  23. Aunt Jemima

    P.S.S. What kind of idiot puts their web site URL on their album cover? How tacky.

  24. Aunt Jemima, the website is probably just a watermark to show who owns the photo.

    Anyway, is that thing for real? How ugly.

  25. Aunt Jemima

    #26. Oh. Who’s the idiot now? Aunt Jemima that’s who.

  26. turph

    I saw that on the side of a van in the 70s.

  27. turph

    I saw that on the side of a van in the 70s.

  28. Mmhm. Why is she still trying with music? It’s just not her thing! I think we all can see she’s not talented at all. But there are several things she’s really good at! Like being trashy, dressing like a slut, trying to create some controversy on twitter talking about Britney, Susan Boyle, her dad (actually, nobody really cares)…

    Anyway, I think she looks like a man. I don’t know. I can see she has a hot body, but there’s something in her that makes me think I’m looking at a man. And they captured that fact perfectly in this painting. I wonder if there are really Tranny angels???

  29. sin

    Ms. Swan from Mad TV has the answer….It looka like a man.

  30. Saint FNE

    That look on her face, the placement of her hand atop her head…maybe that’s the “oh shit” face one makes when their white-blond wig starts to slide off. She looks alarmed, among other things.

  31. The Bong Show

    I guess they did her cover at the airbrush kiosk at the mall? Which reminds me— my Daddy’s Girl shirt should be ready by now.

  32. yuuk

    Brooke looks like Iggy Pop

  33. havoc

    What Mexican’s van did they get this off of?

    LMFAO!!!!

  34. Confused

    how come we can see her ribs in this picture….? I’ve never seen Brooke’s rib’s before…

  35. BadGoat

    Sad and a bit scary at the same time. Brooke and her family turned out to be so messed up.

    She’s lucky that she can afford to put out another album.; therefore it follows that the public is not-so lucky — I suppose. How many bought the first? This is a good example of how some people shouldn’t have money. Nothing good comes of it all.

  36. I think it’s second degree… At least I want to.

  37. Math

    This looks like an airbrushed jean jacket. From a kiosk in a mall. In 1991.

  38. But uuuuuuuuuuuh, SHE IS STILL TWENTY-ONE, folks!!

  39. MaryJane

    This is AWESOME! Man this is so going to be the background of my computer so if I’m ever having a bad day I can just look at it and laugh my ass off =] Thanks superficial, you made my week. =]

  40. lauri robinson

    I hope she doesn’t think she is a role model for any young girls.

  41. lauri robinson

    I hope she doesn’t think she is a role model for any young girls.

  42. The Jolly Orange Angel

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *Whew* Damn, this is classic. CLASSIC!

  43. vito

    Album? ALBUM??? You mean “album” as in MUSIC? Oh Gawwwd.

    Brooke Hogan Check List:
    1. Has she showered and shaved?…check!
    2. Is Hulk away?…check!
    3. Ignore implants?…che…well, I’ll try!
    4. Double paper bags with mouth-holes?…check!
    5. Tranquilizer darts (just in case)?…check!
    6. $5 in quarters?…check!

    OK, Brooke, start sucking! And you better fucking swallow this time!

  44. Rub Some Oil on My *ss, Daddy

    The sad thing is — she thinks an orange, cross-eyed, fried-hair, hermaphrodite Gargantua with wings stuck on its back and dressed like a 70s stripper is somehow attractive.

  45. um

    Why does she have a sunglasses tan line around her eyes?

  46. Destroyer

    The world woke up one day to proclaim, “Thou shalt not make or take part in the bad arts.”

  47. Alli Watermelon

    Wow, I love this picture of her. The photographer really did well with catching Brooke’s beauty. What a portrait! *blank stare*

  48. The Hulkster

    It was so nice of my son, oops I meant daughter, to allow me to wear a bikini and pose for her album cover.

Leave A Comment