Brooke Hogan’s body looking sweet and even non-manly – What?!

November 26th, 2007 // 149 Comments

Brooke Hogan was spotted poolside in her bikini at a Miami hotel yesterday. While normally Brooke Hogan’s freakishly dude-like chin frightens and confuses me, she looks surprisingly do-able in these photos. Maybe it’s because her boobies are all asunder and they’ve been photographed from a safe distance. Kind of like how I’d have sex with Brooke Hogan: from 50 yards away and through the eye of a camera. While you do the math on that one, doesn’t Brooke look like a frightened manatee trying to return to sea in this shot? Someone should make a children’s movie about her. It could be like Free Willy except with more man-face.


  1. roastbeef

    Wow! She actually looks like a normal chick!

  2. Anexio

    She stupid and cant sign worth a crpa. She is just trying to copy brit and all that she does. brit is the only pop prinsess and this person is just a copy casist.

    shes groos

  3. Ugh

    I’d hit it if she’d grow a mustache and let me call her Hulk while I was doing it.

  4. god

    @5…go back to school and get yourself a blue’s clue

  5. Manly and sexually open…*sob*…I MISS MY MOM!!!

  6. em

    i agree with you that brooke can’t sing and that she is just riding on daddy’s cotails, but you can’t be serious with what you mean about britney. your not actually a fan are you. if so, im embarassed for you.

  7. Hot, until she opens her mouth..

  8. Juls

    wow she has a great body

  9. Grape Ape Pees Wine on You

    #5 — you should probably be careful about throwing that term “stupid” around. I suspect that Brooke Hogan can probably formulate sentences with mostly correctly spelled words. Where does that leave you?

    You are the world’s only Britney apologist at the present. Even her family is ashamed of her. If you’re the only person in the world on one side of an argument, and you can’t spell, you can probably assume that you’re not more enlightened than the rest of us.

  10. miggs

    a most impressive tuck job

  11. D Richards

    I’d do her with my jumbo clit!!!

  12. LayDeeBug

    8 – Jimbo, I’m hugging you right now. Sending you lots of kisses and cookies.

    Don’t know you, but I love you.

  13. Grape Ape Pees Wine on You

    I don’t know folks. She looks pretty healthy here. If I were single (glad I’m not), I would probably have a hard time saying no to her.

    I’m not saying that she’s perfect, but she’s not exactly below average either.

  14. LayDeeBug

    Oh, Room, gotta tell you that Anexio is one of the short bus kids. Don’t be too harsh.

  15. fweem

    I’ll stick with the paper bag method for this one.

  16. Ript1&0

    I didn’t ever want to say you are a prick but… I’ve always gone back and forth, wondering.

  17. Ted from LA

    She looks hot here but the question is: if she suddenly turned the tables, whipped out a cock, and rammed it up my ass, would that make it the worst or best sexual experience of my life? Any honest guy will admit that you just don’t know until you try it…

  18. I’m in the mood for pussy and fruit stripes gum………..

  19. Clem

    Body is a knockout and I would NOT mind hanging out the back of that!

    Both barrels! Boom! Boom! Baby gravy all over the place!

  20. shanipie

    She needs to chil out on the weights and do a shit load of cardio.
    Like her body looks ice but is really really thick.
    If she puts on any weight she will look totally fat.
    Def needs to lose about 15lbs.
    Otherwise, she looks pretty good.

  21. g.o.d.

    She is one freakishly ugly chick. I’d keep my dignity and abstain from banging that man-thing.

  22. granada

    I like my girls a little thinner (not stick-y, mind you), less fake, more interesting, and who actually looks her age.

    Brooke Hogan? Nah…

  23. Nice Photography. Do you have a portfolio?

  24. lux

    Of course she is thick…she’s Hulk Hogan’s daughter, did you expect anything less? She would probably be more successful in the WWE then trying to be a pop star.

  25. I love a girl who can run both hands through my hair while tickling my prostate.

  26. Riotboy

    Dude, she’s never had a “manly body”. She’s always been FINE.

    /for reals

  27. Anon Man

    Fake tits, right? I haven’t really paid attention to her before, but they look pretty perfect. (I’m only giving her the benefit of the doubt because she’s very young, and an 18 year old CAN have real tits that are perfect…)

  28. marsh

    fat. she looks thick.

  29. @28 Go blow your brother troll..

  30. This is the best she’s ever looked. Got me so horned up I just might go dig up mom and come on her face. Again.

  31. Hahaha, just kidding. We had her cremated. I already came in her ashes and rolled them up into a ball. I keep it under my pillow.

  32. @5

    Great Caesar’s ghost! I think my intelligence just regressed after reading your comment! I’ve also got this nervous tick, now. Thanks a lot!

  33. tanya

    Looks like daddy sprung for some fake tits.

  34. Sam Hain

    omg – i think my heart just stopped… someone please tell me that she’s old enough to make me not a pedophile for that body making my pants tight?

    Thank God she’s an amazon, that’s one type of therapy (chiropractic) I wouldn’t have to pay for afterwards. Shame about the psychotherapy I would still feel obligated to take care of…

  35. p0nk

    and look at that chin. i bet she can take a punch. win-win.

  36. haroof

    wow a lot of homosexual activity going on in this comment section.

    i’d bang the stupid right out of her.

    she looks amazingly hot in these pics.

  37. roughdaddy

    those back shots looking sweet brooke…

  38. roughdaddy

    those back shots looking sweet brooke…

  39. Jimbo...

    …damn man I thought was (and am) a sick fuck!!!!!!!

  40. roughdaddy

    what the hell these people talking about…this chick is hotter than the bimbo trios,,,whats with the off base comments…

  41. roughdaddy

    what the hell these people talking about…this chick is hotter than the bimbo trios,,,whats with the off base comments…

  42. serious

    haha nice title… but are you serious?? check out those manly calves and thighs!!!!!! he has been taking female hormones, DUH.

  43. I guess the nice thing about Jimbo’s troll is that his flow is so predictable that we can just sort of tune it out. Poor Jimbo-troll must really be upset about having enjoyed his father’s sexual abuse so much that he killed his very own mother in a jealous rage. Especially now that he realizes that nobody will ever get out the microscope and touch that tiny bump of his now that she’s gone. Life is hard in the country, huh Jimbo-troll?

  44. redsonja1313

    DO her NOW….QUICK….. She is going to hit the wall fast…. She has bad genes for getting fat (ala mom) a tendency to look very manly (ala dad) and her over worship of the sun will have her looking like Donatella Versace (sp) or that Rachel Zoë stylist by the time she is 25. And I will bet $$$$ she is pushing maximum density once she punches out a couple of tater tots !!

  45. Danklin26

    You guys are retarded. Her stomach and tits look nice,ill give her that, but where the hell did she put her ass?!?!? IThe first couple pics are okay because they’re far away and only from the front, just dont make this man-chick turn around. She’s trying to pose like she actually has an ass, how cute.

  46. Ashley

    I don’t know what fantasy world you people who are trashing her live in, but Brooke Hogan has an AMAZING body. Toned, proportionate– she looks so much better than the fugly anorexics taking over Hollywood right now. She looks like a normal human being who isn’t afraid to eat something… yet work out too… thus eliminating the need to purge and look like a skeleton! It’s revolutionary and a little controversial, I know, and I can certainly understand how everyone would think she is “thick” when compared to the other “women” in Hollywood who survive on coke and semen– but I can assure you she looks better than probably 80% of the people featured on this site and 99% of the people who post. Including me. I’m not fat by any means but I would love to have a body that toned.

  47. Riotboy


    Hit it “O” Meter

  48. Missystar

    I recently saw this dumbass on Chelsea Lately, denying she’d had a boob job. Apparently she thinks that if it’s a halfway decent job, it doesn’t count.

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