Brooke Hogan: My ass is like ‘an old car’ to my dad

June 25th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Brooke Hogan is wisely distancing herself from the PR landmine that is her bleached family. She sat down for an interview in the latest issue of Us Weekly where she talked about no longer speaking to her mom Linda who’s dating a 19-year-old. But Brooke still thinks highly of Hulk and defended him for putting lotion on her bikini ass. However, she remained mum on the moustache buffering that followed:

“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car,” the singer tells Us Weekly. “He used to change my diaper!”

So that’s it, huh? That’s the secret: changing diapers. Once you change those you have unfettered access to a woman’s nether-regions… Of course! First things first: I need a time machine. Geekologist, stop slathering yourself in fondant and get cracking. In the meantime, I’m going to look up the birth dates of every hot chick I can think of. Anyone know the real names of the Golden Girls?

Photos: INFdaily.com
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  1. snarkymalarky

    I still getting over the shock of Brooke being referred to as a “singer” in the article…bahahaha. But as for the ass lubing…that is disturbing. I would never ask my fricken dad to put lotion on my ass; just wrong; plain and simple.

  2. mbizzle

    #21 that ass belongs to Hulks girlfriend

  3. This family is doing a “SAFE” job to the society.
    JUST DOING NOTHING!!

  4. wierd

    I would not let my dad lotion up my ass. Yes some men have more open relationships with their daughters, but when they are grown ass women..there is no need to get your dad to rub lotion on your ass, legs, face, nothing!

  5. JJ

    Hulk thinks Brooke is an old car????? Just like all the rest of the family.
    4 cylinder brains and 8 cylinder tongues.

  6. JJ

    Hulk thinks Brooke is an old car????? Just like all the rest of the family.
    4 cylinder brains and 8 cylinder tongues.

  7. If I was her DADDY I would rub her ass too, I mean lotion on her butt. Its too late to make up for lost time, especially like this. Maybe he was tired of Lindas flabby ass, I mean butt. A lot of money to rub lotion on that ass. #12 I will show you stupid Americans, you foreign, monkey humping, camel jocky, rice eating retard. You better hope a lion eats your greasy ass, because I WILL KICK the lotion out of you. As for Hulk, inbreeding is what happened too you. Dont continue the tradition, you might have a double chinned brooke jr. By the way #12 you should learn to spell pedophile since you keep having this trouble with school children.

    Sincerely yours,
    Koss N. Phucker

  8. sonny crouch

    i love to brookehogan more then anybody

  9. sonny crouch

    i love to brookehogan more then anybody

  10. sonny crouch

    i love to brookehogan more then anybody

  11. shadi

    h ello my dear brooke ur very beautiful girl and have hot body and nice ass lol add my email shimal_sinde@yahoo.com kiss ur ass bye

  12. shadi

    h ello my dear brooke ur very beautiful girl and have hot body and nice ass lol add my email shimal_sinde@yahoo.com kiss ur ass bye

  13. Good post!As i was passing by here and i read your post.
    It’s quite interesting.I will look around for more such post.Thanks for sharing.

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